Across the Universes
by FantasyMother
Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edwards from two different universes find an old journal that can bridge the gap between them. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other. AU, B & E Rated M for Lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The usual...I own the story, I don't own the characters, etc.**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

**If you're confused, shoot me a note, and I'll unconfuse you :-)**

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**Chapter 1**

**_EAM POV_  
**

Port Angeles on a good day wasn't my idea of a fun place to go, but I'd promised to try.

The air stank of fish, and the summer's heat wasn't helping, in spite of the ever-present cloud layer. Normally a breeze blew the odor from the fishing vessels lining the docks away from the town, but not today. Today the air was heavy with heat, and rotting fish, and filled with the sound of swarming flies. I was sweating, nauseated from the smell, and flailing at the flies constantly alighting on my arms. In other words, I was miserable.

So when Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me into the bookstore, I wasn't objecting to spending some time in the air conditioned shop. As small as it was, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of our day in there.

I'd only been in here once before, and after seeing how small their selection was, I did the rest of my book shopping either in Seattle, or on the internet. The store appeared to be run by someone from the Quileute reservation, and I felt a pang of guilt over not shopping locally, knowing I should be putting an effort into helping support those who supported our local economy. But the truth is, I tended towards the classics, and that's not the kind of stock he carried.

But for now I was happy to be out of the heat and the smell, and wandered towards the back of the store, hoping to find hidden literary treasures even he didn't know he had.

"Edward, check this out!"

Alice's voice came from the far back corner and, sliding sideways between the closely spaced shelves and books piled on the floor, I headed towards the back.

Alice was already with the Cullens when I arrived as the latest foster child. Petite and dark-haired, we found each other easy to speak with from the beginning. She understood me, knew I needed space after the death of my parents, and my own illness, and she and her boyfriend seemed to almost instinctively know when I needed to be left alone, and when it was good to push past my walls and approach me. We'd become very close in the two years I'd been with them, feeling as if we really were siblings.

"Whatcha got?" I asked, trying to show some enthusiasm, but doubting there'd be anything in this store to really interest me.

She held up an old, leather-bound book. "It's a journal, I think. And it's really old. I know you like old things, so maybe…?"

I grinned and took it out of her hands. The surface of the leather was rough, scarred in places and discolored. There was nothing at all written on the outside, but flipping it open I was surprised to see the paper was new, unmarked and unlined. It was the type of book that begged for a fountain pen and sepia ink, the kind of thing I could unload thoughts into without feeling like I was writing in a kid's diary. It was masculine, and gave the sense of the kind of thing that could last through the ages, the kind of journal that could be found in an attic trunk 200 years from now.

In other words, it gave me a sense of immortality, or at the very least, maybe my words might develop some.

I wanted it.

"I was right, wasn't I?" Alice beamed at me, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet. I nodded, and turned it over, looking for a price. There was nothing on it, anywhere. That's when I noticed that not only was the cover blank, but there was no mention of who made it, who sold it – nothing.

"Alice, there's no price, I don't know if I can afford it," I whispered, embarrassed this even came up. But the truth was, I didn't care how much money the Cullens had, I was not their son. I had some money, but I was holding it aside for college.

"Come on, if you can't cover it, I'll pay the difference." She put her hand on my elbow and started dragging me towards the front of the store. "I mean, this isn't Tiffany's. How much could it cost?"

It was later that night, the wind blowing and the rain pounding against the windows, that I was finally able to make it up to my room, and slipped the journal out of the paper bag.

The leather cover seemed to be made from a single piece of tanned hide, and not wrapped around a board to stiffen it. It was flexible, but thick enough to be sturdy and protect the contents. What I didn't understand was why the leather cover seemed so old, yet the paper seemed so new.

I opened it and ran my finger down the clean white sheet. The paper was also thick, with a slightly rough texture, the kind of paper that really would take well to a fountain pen, absorbing the ink completely, yet cleanly. I was tempted to put something on it, but also know whatever I wrote needed to be meaningful, not day to day ramblings.

Opening my desk drawer, I took out one of the few possessions that had been my father's - his antique Sheaffer pen, and a bottle of brown ink. Carefully inking the pen and testing it on scrap paper, I opened to the first page and wrote

Edward Anthony Masen

August, 2010

**'********'**

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_**EAMC POV**_

"Edward, check this out!"

Alice was hidden in the back of the store, and rolling my eyes - knowing she probably found the latest book on fashion do's and don'ts - I carefully walked past the stacks of books on the floor and the narrow aisles to find her.

Just as she had predicted, the day turned out cloudy, allowing us to walk the streets of Port Angeles with no worry about the sun. This didn't mean I appreciated having to deal with the stink of rotting fish coming off the ships docked in the unseasonable heat. The only advantage was, even the flies knew better than to come near us.

I had no idea what her goal had been in Port Angeles. I had agreed to accompany her since Jasper was off hunting with Emmett, and Rosalie was caught up working on her BMW. But the last thing I expected was to be dragged into the tiny bookshop owned by a member of the Quileute tribe.

"Alice, I don't know…"

She looked at the entrance, and turned around, a determined look on her face. "The treaty doesn't say we can't shop in Port Angeles." Opening the door she turned to me as the small bells jingled. Instead of meeting her eyes I looked at the shop keeper. He was glaring, and I happily returned his hostility. He didn't want me in his store any more than I wanted to be there, but Alice grabbed my elbow and dragged me in.

"Humor me, Edward. There's something I'm looking for, and they may carry it."

So there I was, heading towards the back of the store, answering Alice's summons. I had no idea how Jasper lived with this.

She was standing in a corner, looking down at a table covered with items marked "Discount," her eyes falling on an old leather book, with nothing printed or stamped on the cover. I picked it up, surprised by the age of the leather cover, and opened it. To my delight, it was a journal, with high quality blank, unlined paper filling it. I smiled, this was a find. I had no idea how old it was, but it reminded me of a journal my father kept, my real father. I had few memories, but some were of items in his study. He had a journal similar to this, although I do remember gold leaf embossing on his. This one appeared to be very old indeed.

"Thanks, Alice. How did you notice this amongst the junk back here?" She reached out her hand to take it from me.

"I don't know, my eye caught it and I had…" Alice stopped speaking, her mouth fell open, her eyes rolled back and her knees buckled. The book dropped back to the table as I reached over and grabbed her before she hit the floor.

"Alice, what…"

"Edward?" she whispered, pulling out of my arms and backing up, her eyes opened wide and staring at the book.

"What happened?"

"I… I don't know. I touched it, and it was a vision, but it wasn't a vision." She turned away and shook her head. "Bright lights, splashes of color, even sound – but none of it made sense."

"Are you feeling okay now, have you recovered?" I looked at the journal. "Maybe I shouldn't even consider it…"

"No," she shook her head. "I think it's meant for you, but don't ask me why." She laughed softly, and walked towards the front of the store. "Grab it and let's get out of here." She shivered slightly, but kept going. "I want to get home." The entire drive home she kept turning around and looking at the back seat, where the journal was laying in its paper bag, an indecipherable expression on her face.

Much later that night, when the others were occupied, I went up to my room. Closing and locking the door, I pulled the journal out of the bag and laid it on my desk. Pleased with my purchase, I sat in front of it, and absently stroked the leather, thinking back to those hazy memories back in Chicago. Sighing, I smiled and flipped it open to examine it more closely, and dropped it on the desk.

I thought back, replaying everything that happened today, in the store, once I got home. It wasn't possible, was it?

I tentatively reached over and opened it again, noticing my hands were trembling. That wasn't there before, I know it wasn't. How could this...

Oh yes, I get it. Someone's idea of a joke, of course. Alice? No, I don't think so. I'd guess Emmett, although if it was him, he did a better job imitating my hand than I'd think him capable.

I reached into my desk and pulled out my much-loved fountain pen, and the bottle of sepia ink. I carefully amended the journal so it no longer just said "Edward Anthony Masen."

I added "Cullen" to the end.

Shutting the journal with a snap, I took it into my closet, and kneeled in front of the chest I kept buried in the back. Removing the key that was always on my person, I unlocked the chest and placed the journal inside, carefully relocking it.

Let's see them try to continue this game.

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**A/N **

Hey there! Welcome to my surprise. Well, this is a surprise to me too. It's even more of a surprise to my usual betas, because no one has seen this except me, and now you :-)

_**Remember, this story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

I hope you enjoy this walk in the multi-universe. I can be found at the third star to the left. Let me know what you think. The "review" button will send your comments to me, even if I'm way out there.

Gah, that's cheesy. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Come join us on the new thread created by the lovely Jedigirlsc (does Vanna White impression.) It's in the Twilighted Forums, under AU.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Not my toys, but this surely is my sandbox**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

**If you're confused, shoot me a note, and I'll unconfuse you :-)**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 2**

**_EAM POV_  
**

Carlisle's brown loafers could use a polishing.

It wasn't all I could see. I could see his argyle socks, and the cuffs of his brown pants. But that was pretty much it, since I was lying on my stomach on a hard examination table. Carlisle was sitting in a white plastic chair by my head, chatting with the allergy specialist while the guy took his needle and scraped samples of common allergens on my back, testing me for any kind of reaction.

I closed my eyes and took measured breaths, trying to control both my temper and my anxiety. Dressed in a hospital gown, the back wide open, I took comfort from little things – like they let me keep my boxers on so my naked ass wasn't waving in the breeze. Unclenching my fists, I tried to visualize myself somewhere else — a beach, the mountains, the sun beating down and heating my skin — anywhere but here.

Fuck, it was useless.

This was Wednesday, and I'd been at the hospital since Monday night. Two years ago I'd sworn I wouldn't step foot into a hospital again, and yet here I was, a team of doctors trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

This past Monday I'd felt as healthy as a horse, and there had been nothing unusual at school, other than the rumors a transfer student was joining us. The daughter of the police chief for this tiny town, she was moving from Arizona because of the sudden death of her mother. Her father hadn't had custody of her since she was two years old, and the town took pleasure in jabbering about how he was going to manage handling his teenage daughter.

Well, those who loved to gossip talked about it. Emmett and Alice relayed the news to me, and I made it clear I could care less.

_Shit that hurt!_

The needle hit one of those bizarre nerve clusters everyone has, the pain almost shooting me through the ceiling.

"Carlisle, is this really necessary?"

I heard the sigh coming from somewhere above the top of my head. "Edward, sorry about the pain, but after what happened two years ago, I would be remiss if I didn't do everything possible to make sure you're still healthy. And if that means you miss this week of school and have to tolerate a jab or two..." He shrugged. "As it is, you know you're so far ahead of the others, some missed time won't affect your academic standing."

Right. I closed my eyes again and thought back to Monday, and everything that happened to set the events into motion that put me where I was right now — ass-up on this table.

I saw her walk into the classroom, the transfer student, and I had to admit she was unlike anything I'd seen in my two years in Forks. Not a drop of makeup on her face, her skin virtually glowed with a translucent quality I'd never seen before. Large brown eyes, wide-set and sparkling with intelligence, her face framed by a mane of heavy brown hair that flowed to her waist.

She was lovely, maybe the prettiest girl I'd _ever_ seen in real life. My head immediately filled with dreams and fantasies about talking to her, and kissing those plump lips, and sliding my hands down that lithe body...

When she stepped in front of the fan.

My throat closed, burning fire scorching it, flames licking upwards and into my nose. I gasped and turned my head, unable to even swallow through the agony. I'd never felt anything like it, or had any kind of illness _ever_ come on that quickly. Through my tears of pain I saw her directed to the seat next to me, but all I could focus on was the burning. All plans of introducing myself disappeared as I struggled to breathe through the next hour, unwilling to leave the classroom, yet at the same time barely able to control my grimaces as the fire consumed my throat.

The first girl I'd ever seen who I really wanted to meet, to talk to — and there was no way I could utter a word.

As soon as the bell rang I ran, but once out in the hallway, once I took a gulp of breath outside the classroom, the pain disappeared. _What the hell?_

That night, Carlisle drove me over to the hospital and ran a battery of tests, afraid there was some kind of residual damage from two years earlier. It took until today to rule out standard respiratory ailments, and so here I was, being tested for allergens, all of us wondering if there was something about the new girl that, quite literally, made me sick.

And in spite of that, in spite of the discomfort from the tests, in spite of my own anxiety about being in a hospital, I was glad I was lying on my stomach. Just remembering her standing by the classroom door was enough to remind my body how astonishingly desirable she was, although it might have been a tad more comfortable if the table was a wee bit less hard. And I might add, it might have helped if I was a wee bit less hard, as well.

'********'

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_**EAMC POV**_

It was one of those rare moments when I wished I could feel the cold, that it could affect my body, because being buried waist-deep in a snowdrift was doing nothing to help. Doing my best to look nonchalant while lounging in the snow, I glanced back towards the house, praying Tanya didn't choose this moment to come out, misinterpreting the state of my physical…er… state. She'd never believe it had nothing to do with her.

I scanned the frozen horizon of the Alaskan countryside, already deciding that once I had... things... under control I'd make my farewells and head back to Forks. I had a host of tools in my arsenal, honed over the years, some even remembered from my days as a newborn. I could deal with the bloodlust. I _would_ deal with the bloodlust.

But I hadn't a clue how to deal with the other lust I was feeling for the first time since I was reborn into this life. Squirming in the snow, I now understood I'd left a huge hole in my education. If there was ever a time for colorful cursing, it was now. Alas, my skills were sorely lacking.

I'd raced out of the school as soon as biology was over. Flying past Alice in the hallway, I told her they'd need to find their own way home, that I had to leave. Her sympathetic look didn't help matters in the least. She should have seen this coming, but I had no time to consider why she had not. Right now, I had to get to the car and get as far away as fast as I possibly could — without raising notice, of course.

Barging through the hospital entrance, I ignored the questioning nurses and jogged directly to Carlisle's office. Thank God he was there, and after taking one look at my face he ushered me in and locked the door.

"I need to leave for a while, Carlisle."

"What happened?"

I went on to explain the almost uncontrollable bloodlust for this human girl, starting from the moment she walked into the classroom. How it took every drop of control I had to remain seated and let her live. Carlisle listened quietly. If anyone knew me, and had any understanding about my self-control, it was he.

"I'm proud of you, Edward. In spite of the temptation, you didn't kill her. Do what you have to do, I'll do all I can to support your decision."

It was exactly what I expected to hear, but unfortunately, I had more to say.

"That's not the only thing I need to talk about," I said quietly, as if whispering it might someone reduce the impact of what I was going to reveal.

He arched his brow. "What more is there? You didn't hurt someone else, did you?"

I shook my head. "No, nothing like that." I stopped, trying to find the most graceful way to broach the topic. Maybe...

"Carlisle, of all those in the family, you're the one who understands me, who I am, what I try to make of my life." He nodded and leaned forward, his arms on the desk, his fingers tented. "You're also the only other one in our family who spent most of his life, if you don't mind my saying so, alone and unmated." He nodded again, watching me carefully. His mind screamed with questions, but I pushed them aside. It was hard enough to formulate my own thoughts without the barrage of his.

"So, in spite of their teasing and innuendos, you're capable of empathizing with me, with the reality of our... sexuality." Damn, this was difficult. "We've talked about it, you and me. Our bodies aren't controlled by hormones, and both you and I have theorized our physical arousal is purely mental, a reaction brought on by the mind's acknowledgement of a mate, and if we're fortunate, love for that mate as well."

He nodded, wondering where I was taking this. I took a deep breath, and dove right in.

"And so, we understand why my physical state since my transition has remained static, in spite of temptations such as Tanya. Since she is not my mate, and I have no hormones to flood my body in response to her beauty, she doesn't arouse me in spite of her best efforts to prove otherwise. Right?" At this point, if I could, I'd be beet red.

I leaned closer to him, and lowered my voice even more. "Then how does that explain my reaction to Isabella Swan when she walked into the classroom? How can it explain why a human I never met before, who I still haven't spoken to, whose blood was the single most tempting thing I'd ever smelled," I gulped, but continued, "gave me not only my first erection since I... transitioned to this life, but resulted in one so powerful," and now I whispered so softly I could barely hear my own words, "that I came close to orgasm with no other stimulation."

Obviously, he had no more answers than I did, and so I did the only thing I could think of. I ran to Denali.

No, this was no use. I pulled myself to my feet and brushed the snow off my clothes. With as much discretion as I could muster, I reached down and adjusted myself — this new discomfort was constant — all I had to do was have a fleeting thought of that human girl and I was as hard as a rock. Glancing back at the house, I decided it was better to be rude than risk another misunderstanding with Tanya. After making one more attempt to position myself so I could manage to run, I took off for my car.

The decision was made. I'd return to Forks, control the monster who craved her blood, and try to figure out why my body chose, after all these years, to behave like the 17 year old boy I was before I died.

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**A/N **

Weren't we just here? Tsk tsk, don't expect this all the time. I've been on a roll, the muse is crushing my right shoulder, and work has been slow.

And Alicedances, our outlandishly stylish beta, was willing to take it and turn it around in record time. She is the comma to my semi-colon.

Think about it.

No, I haven't been drinking. Yet.

A reminder, this story will always represent the two points of view, separated by a bunch of *****'s. The story summary will give you a sense of what's going on, but I'm happy to help unconfuzzle at any time.

Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading! Next chapter stars The Book. He's now demanding union scale.

Come join us on the new thread created by the lovely Jedigirlsc (does Vanna White impression, again.) It's in the Twilighted Forums, under AU.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not my toys, but this surely is my sandbox**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

**If you're confused, shoot me a note, and I'll unconfuse you :-)**

**

* * *

****Chapter 3**

**_EAM POV_  
**

"I'm sorry I didn't have the opportunity to introduce myself last week. My name is Edward Masen."

It was Monday morning, again, and my pockets were filled with throat lozenges, the least offensive-smelling one already in my mouth when I gazed into her eyes and tried to smile. The nose burning wasn't quite as bad as last time, and I kept swallowing, trying to keep my sore throat moist.

Not like this was a problem, because for some reason I was salivating more than usual. I mean, bucket loads of saliva kept pouring into my mouth. But I'd have to be drowning in it before I'd let Carlisle know.

A week's worth of blood tests, x-rays, MRIs, scrapings out of my nose, needle scrapings across my back while they watched to see if anything funny grew out of them, and the final result was... negative. All of the tests came back negative. Nada. Nothing. Learn to live with it, see ya later, we'll bill your insurance.

And so, with nothing left to test for, I was back at school, and it was after lunch, and I was sitting next to this lovely creature while my throat was on fire and I tried not to drool.

She smiled and nodded her head. "Nice to meet you, I'm Bella Swan. You were gone all week, are you okay?"

Ah, it was the first time I'd heard her voice, and it was like hearing a symphony. Sweet and melodic, with a touch of roughness that made me think of lace and rumpled bed sheets and my nose in her throat, breathing in her scent in spite of the burn. I scooted my chair in, pushing myself closer to the desk, effectively hiding from Bella what my jeans were barely containing.

She'd asked a question, and I needed to answer. More importantly, I needed to impress her. But how? What could I say that would made me sound suave, show her my superior level of sophistication over the other males in the school?

"I got sick on Monday. Uh... my father's a doctor and he sorta over-reacted and rantestsonmeallweek." In the end, when in doubt, tell the truth. It blurted out of my mouth before I could turn on my internal censor, and I prayed my mumbling at the end effectively covered up my sudden case of verbal diarrhea. Maybe I really was sick.

"Are you better now?"

I shrugged. "Mostly. They think it may be allergies. No big deal." Obviously, my brain had decided to abandon all hope of suave, and reverted to its caveman evolutionary roots. Next I'd be dragging her off by the hair — my dick got harder just thinking about it. At this rate, I wouldn't need to find a club.

"Are you sure, Edward?" Bella held my eyes, her own wide with concern as she chewed on the end of her pencil. I couldn't stop myself, I was drawn to those soft lips, and her white teeth, and the throbbing vein on the side of her neck, blue under her smooth, white porcelain skin. I could feel the heat coming off her, the burning in my throat a constant while I moved, slowly, imperceptibly closer to her. Just a sniff, just a taste...

"Good afternoon," Mr. Banner shouted as he walked in the door. It felt like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head. I leaned back, faced forward, and tried to control my suddenly pounding heart. Bella was still staring at me, waiting for an answer. Did she notice it? Did anyone notice? Was there anything _to_ notice?

"I'm fine now, thank you," I rasped, and turned back to face Mr. Banner. Play it cool... I wasn't just thinking about her blood...

_Fucking Masen. I can't believe it_.

What? My eyebrows shot up and I looked to the right, to where Mike Newton was sitting. He was looking down at his desk, taking notes. I glanced around the classroom, but everyone was either listening to Mr. Banner or daydreaming. No one else looked like they'd heard him, including the girl sitting next to me.

_Never talks to anyone, leaves for a week, and now the fucker is hitting on that. __**I **__want that, fucking bastard._

"Newton!" I whispered, leaning across the desk, trying to get his attention. He looked over at me, obviously surprised I was talking to him.

"What the hell's your problem?" I hissed. The moron had the nerve to roll his eyes and give me the finger, and then go back to writing his notes. I fumed — Bella was not a girl a flea-bitten lust-addled teenage moron "hit on." If anyone was going to hit on that, it was going to be me.

I leaned back and chanced looking at Bella, who was paying more attention to me than the teacher, her eyes full of questions. I just shook my head, tried to smile, unwrapped another throat lozenge and popped it into my mouth.

Hearing things now — another thing I wasn't going to mention to Carlisle.

The rest of the class finished quietly. No more cursing Newtons in my head, the throat pain almost manageable when I gave in and hit the big guns — Sucrets. That stuff had local anesthetic in it. The salivating was still a problem, but I had an easier time swallowing with a numb throat. Sighing with relief, enjoying a pain-free moment while still in the company of this gorgeous creature, I was just getting up my nerve to ask Bella if she'd let me walk her to her next class when the bell rang, and she flew out the door.

Shit, that didn't look good. Preoccupied with trying to figure out what I'd done to offend her, I almost missed the folded note hidden under my books. Glancing around to make sure the classroom was empty, I picked up the scrap of paper and slowly opened it.

_Maybe it's my strawberry shampoo. I'll stop on the way home after school and buy something different. _

_Feel better. _

_Bella._

It was the first real smile I'd had all week.

I passed the rest of the day in a blur, her features burned onto my consciousness, my mind awash in fantasies of being permitted to touch, to taste her perfect body, to kiss those lovely lips. As soon as I got home I ran to my room, locked the door, and dragged out my journal. A sketch of her face — that would be the perfect thing, the perfect first entry. Her face immortalized along with my words of love and lust. I'd outshine the masters, the name Masen would join Shakespeare, and Byron, and Solomon when future students studied and debated words of love and longing.

I had just finished putting the final touches on one of her eyes. Large and deep, I'd managed to capture her spark of fierce intelligence when I glanced up to what I wrote at the top of the page before all the hospital crap started.

I froze. The only sound in my room was my breathing, and the clunk of the pencil hitting the desk.

Cullen? _Cullen?_ I did _not_ write Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! I lifted the journal up to my face and peered at it closely. It looked like my handwriting, but with a touch of flourish I'd never use – even when I was playing with dad's fountain pen.

_Fucking Alice_, that's who it was. But why? Yeah, she'd been pushing me for the last two years but damn it all, she knew it was a sore point with me. If nothing else, keeping my birth name was the only way I had to honor my parents, and was the only reason I refused Carlisle's requests for formal adoption. And at this point, I was months away from my 18th birthday — so why bother?

Why would she do this? What point was she making?

I slammed the journal down and went off to find her. I also needed to find my damned desk key, because shit was getting locked up from now on.

'********'

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_**EAMC POV**_

An eye? Bella's eye? There was no question in my mind whose eye the sketch represented. The shape was perfectly captured, even the depths through the proper use of shadows and highlights were there.

_Who drew this?_

More importantly, how did someone get into the locked chest? I'd have picked up anyone's scent in my closet other than my own, and no one had been near it, I was positive. I could smell Esme's touch at the doorway, and by the racks of clothes – but not in the back near the chest. No one but myself had touched it.

_So how?_

I searched back in my mind for everything I'd read or learned about vampires from Carlisle's extensive library. I could ascertain no history of vampires losing bits of their memory, passing out, unconscious writing or drawing.

Even if it had been possible, the truth is, art was not one of my talents. I could not have drawn this, not with the detail and realism depicted through these simple lines.

"Alice, can I have a moment of your time?"

I'd barely said the words when she strolled into my room and stared over my shoulder at the illustration on the page.

"I'm not touching it again, not after the last time."

I looked over my shoulder at her, at the troubled expression on her face. "I wasn't going to suggest it."

"That's Bella, no question about it. And you're not capable of drawing something that well. In fact, of all of us, you're the least artistic."

"Thanks Alice, you don't need to remind me. The point remains, where did this come from?"

I turned back to examine the sketch again. _What the hell?_ I pulled it closer to my face. No question about it, there were differences, a few more eyelashes than there were there three minutes earlier. _What's going on here?_

"Alice, do you see..."

"No, Edward, I don't see anything. I can't see anything around that book."

"You've got to give me something, anything..."

"I told you before, it's not as if there's nothing there. It's more like, there's too much. More paths, more choices, than I've ever seen before. Ever." She shook her head and backed up. "I know I told you to buy it in spite of all this but..." She lost focus, looking – I knew – at whatever future she could see. "Just be careful, okay?"

I nodded. Careful was an understatement, especially after the events of the day — events I had told no one in the family about. Well, they knew I managed to speak to her, and knew I managed not to kill her. I wasn't ready to reveal the rest.

As I'd feared, the day went exactly as expected — just walking in public required holding my books in front of my... well, below my belt. Classes were spent with my chair pushed in as far as possible, effectively hiding my lap. And biology was sheer torture.

My plan was simple. I'd take in enough air for a short conversation when she first arrived, and I'd simply spend the rest of the class not breathing. I'd focus on whatever Banner was talking about, and make it through the next hour. I could do that.

What I didn't expect was the sunshine in her lovely smile when it was directed at me. Or the dancing lights in the depths of her eyes. Or the shimmering shades of brown and red as the fluorescent lights bounced off her hair. When she turned her head to face the teacher I took the liberty of examining her flawless skin, the graceful curve of her neck, the delicate collarbones peeking above her lacy yet modest shirt. My eyes kept going, taking in the rounded shape of her breasts, how they rose above her ribs, imagining their weight in my hands, picturing delicate rosebud nipples that would pucker hard against my tongue, as hard as...

_Holy hell!_ I turned away from her, my chest burning, my throat on fire, the throbbing in my jeans echoing a heartbeat I didn't have. Clenching my fists I did everything I could to clear the lust from my mind, thoughts I'd never had before, ever, in all my years. _What the hell was wrong with me?_

I didn't look at her again, I couldn't, and when the class was over I ran, just as I had the week before. I literally flew to my car and sat there, gulping fresh air, still smelling her fruity essence mingling with the musty trace of her womanhood, so potent it almost masked the luscious scent of her sweet blood.

I feared madness, yet was still certain I'd solve this riddle. I'd find the answer for why this human woman drove me to feel like a human teenager. Why my body felt flooded with testosterone.

But my certainty, my confidence started to wane as I saw that illustration of her eye, sketched in pencil in my journal, continue to change while I watched.

**A/N**

Thank you so much for the reviews! They mean a great deal to me. Not only do they let me know what you think, but they also let me know if I'm being too vague and confusing. You all help me hone this plot.

A special thanks to Booksgalore for not beating me up, and to Alicedances for, once again, cleaning up my errant commas. I don't know what to say except, they do this on their own, with no conscious thought on my part.

A quick note: My other story, The Deluded, has been nominated for a Faithful Shipper Award, under the Best Canon category. I don't know who you are but, if you're reading this little ditty, you have my thanks, and my blushes. I blush really well. It's menopause.

Come join us on the Twilighted Forums, under AU. We can chat about how Vampward will take care of his problems, and HumWard's new dietary cravings.

And again, thank you all so much for your reviews.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Yup, it's SM's, but this plot is mine. So is the book.**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

**If you're confused, shoot me a note, and I'll unconfuse you :-)**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 4**

**_EAM POV_  
**

"Edward, of all the people in this house, don't you realize I'd be the one least likely to mess with your stuff?"

I found Alice in the kitchen, sitting at the table with her head in her hands, her eyes closed and rubbing her temples. My temper still flaring, it took me more time than it should have for what she said to filter into my brain.

"If not you, then who?" I shouted. For the past two years everyone had been very careful to give me my privacy, to help me heal from the illness that struck my family, that nightmare that resulted in the death of my parents and left me as the only survivor. These games with the journal left me feeling pushed into a place I wasn't ready for – being part of a household that included teenagers playing teenage pranks. To be honest, I wasn't sure I'd ever be ready for that.

"No one, Edward. I can't imagine any of us going into your room for anything, and that includes cleaning." She sighed, rubbing her temples harder. "Esme won't even go in there. In case it hadn't occurred to you, that's why she leaves your clean clothes outside your door. It's not because she can't be bothered, it's because she knows you need your space." She opened her eyes and looked at me. "Even Emmett knows better."

Shit, she was right. Alice wouldn't screw with me, and I was willing to take her word for it that Emmett wouldn't, either. As tiny as she was, if he did something she didn't like, she'd probably beat him to a pulp – and get Jasper to help. I flopped into a chair, feeling emotionally drained. Too much was going on lately.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I whispered, looking back at her and shrugging. That's when I noticed how bloodshot her eyes were.

"Been drinking lately?"

She threw me a look of disgust and then closed her eyes again. "No, Edward." She sighed in exasperation. "And you're not the first to assume I'd been…" Yeah, I'm certain Emmett got to her before I did. "I've just been having these weird headaches lately, and I'm not sleeping too well." She leaned forward and rested her forehead against the cool Formica of the kitchen table. "Too many dreams. Weird dreams." She lifted an arm and waved at the cabinet next to the sink. "Can you get me an aspirin or something?"

I stood and walked to the sink, grabbing the bottle from the top shelf. This was so unlike Alice. She was the butt of jokes in the family for being able to sleep through anything, and was never, ever sick.

I walked back and handed her the bottle with a glass of water. "So, how do you think the journal got…"

"No clue. Are you certain you didn't write it yourself and don't remember?"

The truth was, I was no longer certain of anything. Not after what happened during biology today. "Just forget it, and feel better, okay?" I stuck my hands in my pockets and started to walk out of the kitchen when she stopped me.

"So," she said, raising her head. "What's this I hear about you and Isabella Swan?"

_What?_ "What?"

She shrugged. "I've been hearing you've been talking to her." She grinned, in spite of her head pain.

"There's no 'me and Isabella Swan.' I've just been talking to Bella before class. She's my lab partner. No big deal." I turned to walk out, but she wasn't done.

"That's not what Mike Newton's been saying. He seems to think you're interested in her."

"What the hell would Newton know? He's just jealous because he wants her for himself." Idiot, spreading rumors. Just what I would expect in this damned school.

"Edward, how would you know if he's interested in her?" Alice's eyes were wide, in spite of how bloodshot they were. "It's not like you stick your toes in the Forks gossip stream. Emmett and I are the only ones you talk to."

Shit. I was so not telling Alice I was hearing thoughts. Time to deflect.

"Look, all I've done is talk to Bella, and that wasn't until today, and it was only until class started. And Newton's been shooting me nasty looks, so…" I started backing slowly out of the kitchen. Well, I was, until I ran into Esme. Literally.

"Sorry, Esme. Look, Alice, I have homework. I'll catch you later."

Esme raised her brow. "Edward?"

"It's nothing. Homework." I waved towards the stairs, turned, and ran.

Locked in my room, I slid open my desk drawer and pulled out the journal. Rummaging through all the drawers..._fuck, where is it... ah hah_. I found the key and slipped it onto the ring with my house and car keys. I turned on some Shubert, played with the lights... and when I got the ambiance exactly right, I opened the journal to the sketch I'd started of Bella.

Tonight, I would finish it – and ignore all of the insanity going on around me. I was a well-educated guy, with a good grounding in biology from my parents. I could accept the fact I was immensely attracted to her, and for good reason. She was absolutely lovely. The rest of it was simply the product of an over-active imagination, combined with hormones and adrenaline from finding a woman I sincerely wanted to get to know better, to eventually date.

That night, with the sketch finished, the journal carefully locked in my desk, I fell into my first deep sleep in days.

'*'

"Alice, do you need a ride today?" I was in the kitchen, wolfing down some toast and coffee while Alice pulled her books together. Emmett had left earlier, saying he was giving Jasper a lift.

"Give me a sec to find an umbrella, I'll meet you in the car. And thanks."

It was a quiet ride, primarily because Alice still had bloodshot eyes, and from the look on her face, no relief from the headache.

"You should talk to Carlisle about it," I said casually, peering sideways at her.

She shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. If it doesn't get better in a few days, yeah, I'll say something."

It was odd to find myself in the position of needing to tell Alice to take care of herself. She and I were so close we could be real siblings, but until now I was the needy one. I more than owed her for all she'd done, and promised myself I'd keep an eye on her. Her background wasn't much better than mine; she'd just had more years to process it. Or maybe she was just stronger than me.

Thinking about someone other than myself for a change actually lightened my mood as we made the short drive to school. Maybe I really wasn't a completely self-absorbed prick, after all. And I was going to see Bella and, with luck, speak with her today. And with even more luck, maybe I'd manage to keep my dick under control.

I glanced down as I turned into the parking lot. I shifted in my seat as I eased up on the accelerator. Maybe not.

The parking lot was flooded from last night's heavy rains, and my usual spot was pretty much underwater. I stopped and scanned the lot, looking for a relatively dry spot.

Alice turned to me, an odd far-away look in her eyes. "Park here," she said, pointing to the first space on my right, much farther from the school than usual. Shrugging, I pulled in. Walking a few extra yards wouldn't hurt us.

I was just killing the ignition when I heard the sound of the engine in Bella's ancient truck. She parked a couple of spaces away, but didn't seem to notice me. I hesitated, wondering if it was a good opportunity to see if I could walk her inside, and had just turned to Alice to suggest it when....

"Now, Edward! MOVE!" _What the fuck?_ Alice still had that odd stare going, but she reached over and started shoving at my arm.

"Get out of the car now, _get to Bella!_" she shouted, tears suddenly running down her face, but still not looking at me… it was as if she was looking at something I couldn't see.

"Alice, what the hell is wrong with you?" I opened the door just as I saw Bella step out of her truck. Looking back over my shoulder at Alice I shook my head and took a step towards Bella, and that's when I heard it.

It was the roar of a racing engine, tires squealing on asphalt, the heads of all the students lifting and looking towards the sound, and everyone froze, everyone seeing it at the same time. Taking the turn into the lot too fast, Tyler's van started sliding sideways, hydroplaning on the wet surface, sliding sideways and heading straight towards Bella.

I started running, my eyes on her face, hearing the screech of the van tires coming closer and closer. She was frozen, staring at the van sliding towards her, and I knew that if I didn't get there in time it would mean her death. I took a deep breath and flew towards her, grabbed her in my arms and threw both of us to the side just as the van crashed into her truck.

Bella and I rolled, my arms tight around her body as we both came to a stop against another car, my face in her neck, my throat burning, muttering again and again… _Bella, Bella, Bella…_

I lifted my head and pulled back, and gazed into her beautiful face. Her eyes were closed, I could feel her chest rising and falling against mine as we both tried to catch our breath. She had a small cut on her right temple, probably from the car we landed against, and I started to reach out a hand to wipe the drop of blood away… and stopped. It was beautiful. It shone like a faceted ruby, a teardrop garnet of blood against her ivory skin, like a jewel placed there for me, a gift to me for saving her life. My throat was on fire, but that was okay, because it was worth the scent, a hint of salt, the rusty smell of iron, the allure of delicate flowers. I couldn't tell which wondrous aroma was from her skin and which was from her blood, but it made no difference because it was all… just… her.

I leaned forward, examining the tiny red gem, my nostrils dilating, my lips curving into smile, my eyes riveted. It was beautiful, just as she was beautiful. Glancing over to see if her eyes were still closed, I swallowed the saliva pooling in my mouth, leaned forward even more, and without a moment's hesitation, took the tip of my tongue and dipped it into that sweet ambrosia.

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

"_Edward!"_

I heard the squeal of the tires at the same time I heard Alice's shout and saw the vision in her head of Bella on the ground, crushed and dead.

_Oh, dear Lord!_

Without thinking I flew across the parking lot, not caring who could see, and grabbed her, throwing us both to the ground, my arms wrapped around her like a cage. No time to get her out of the way, I turned so my back was to the skidding van as I pushed my legs forward and braced myself against the wheel of her truck and waited for the impact.

The van hit me, the sheet metal giving around my back, the truck axel groaning under the pressure of my feet. With a shrug of my shoulders the van slid back and off me, bouncing on its springs as it came to a stop. I heard shouts and screaming minds, but little by little they all faded into the background as I realized I had Bella in my arms, her warm body cradled against my own. The world faded away to her face, just her lovely face, and her eyes, wide open and staring into mine. Her eyes weren't just brown, there were flakes of gold in her irises, countless shades embedded within the chestnut brown, capturing me.

My world expanded just a little more, and I could feel her heartbeat thudding against me, the warmth of her skin, its scent billowing around her, the light floral wash from her hair in my nose, the allure of her blood forgotten as the draw of her womanhood took precedence above all else. I felt myself grow impossibly hard, my hands wrapped around her back loosening just a little as my fingers lightly caressed silk over glass.

I was in heaven, or what I imagined that place forever denied to me would feel like. Her eyes never left mine as I felt her heartbeat increase, my need to taste her skin, to draw in the warmth of her sweet breath that was washing across my face, to touch those soft lips with my own, to take her, to make her mine, to bury myself in her.

Her eyes grew larger, and it was a moment before I understood it was because I moved closer, the need to close the gap between us reaching beyond any lust for blood I'd ever experienced. Just a moment, just a taste of heaven, as I finally closed the gap, closed my eyes and touched my cold lips to hers. I sighed in sheer delight, just allowing the touch to linger, this moment to burn in my memory for eternity. My hands tightened on her back, and I drew her closer… even closer… closer to the hard imperative in my jeans, to combine the sensation of her sweet breath and soft lips with the friction of her body. Closer, just a touch… and then yes… her breathless gasp of pleasure…

_What??_

I opened my eyes and pushed her back. _What…what had I done?_ Bella's eyes were drooping, her body limp in my arms. Faces were appearing, minds shouting with concern. The damaged van behind me, Alice begging me to get up and get away, Emmett's confused thoughts, Rosalie's fury, Jasper's confusion melding with my own…

_What had I done?_

Carefully, knowing I was handling a woman more precious than my own life, I leaned her against her truck and slowly withdrew my arms. When I was certain she was stable, I stood, looked around at the sea of faces, and as slowly as possible, strolled away from the scene of the accident, and away from the school.

I walked home. When had I last taken the time to just stroll? The Volvo left at school, I walked through the forest, back to the house, desperate to unravel what was wrong with me. I believed I had one answer, but not them all.

After all these years, after finally deciding it would never happen to me, I had mated. It was the only explanation for the all-encompassing yearning for her presence, to simply join the world that revolved around Bella Swan. Part of me rejoiced at this realization, part of me was horrified. No matter what, she was still human, and there were no guarantees she'd ever return my feelings, or if she did, what we could do about it.

But that wasn't nearly as important as the rest of it. Control was something I prided myself on, but I had none where she was concerned, and I didn't know why. Being mated did not mean a sexual yearning that erased every other aspect of your thoughts – I knew this. I lived with three mated pairs. I even watched the growth of the bond between Carlisle and Esme, and Emmett and Rosalie. No question there was lust, but it wasn't out of control.

And I was most certainly losing all control, and since she was human, I had to find some way to regain it – or it could mean her death.

I also knew I had to confront the other critical problems my actions had brought about.

One, I had revealed myself, my nature, to Bella. She knew I was 'other,' although I'm certain she wouldn't guess the details. Second, I had kissed her, and we barely knew each other. She hadn't objected, but I could only conclude it was shock. And third, I had potentially revealed my nature to the entire school. Only time would truly tell what they'd seen, and what they guessed, and whether or not my precipitous actions meant we were all going to be moving, and quickly.

My chest hurt just thinking about it. Regardless, I was certain to be having an interesting conversation with the family later today.

The house was empty and quiet when I walked in the door. Carlisle was at the hospital and I imagined Esme was out doing… something. I headed up the stairs to my room, closed and locked the door, and pulled the journal out of the chest. If there was anything worth recording in it, it would be the epiphany of this day. I was in love with Isabella Swan, I had mated to Bella Swan, and so I would find a way to…

I started to tremble, then lifted a shaking finger and ran it over the surface of the sketch of the perfect likeness of Bella. Lifting my finger, I examined the black smudge left on my skin. Slowly raising my finger to my nose, I recognized the scent of graphite.

It was a pencil sketch, done with a level of skill no one in this house possessed. It was perfect, down to the sparkle in her smiling eyes, lovingly drawn in the journal, as if produced by someone who loved her as dearly as I.

Hands still shaking, I lowered the journal to my desk and retrieved my pen. And then, with slow, deliberate strokes, I wrote below the illustration.

_Who are you, and how do you know her?_

* * *

**A/N**

Thank you for continuing to follow the adventures of HumWard and VampWard, and the developing changes in HumAlice as well.

I'd like to thank Alicedances for all her beta work, and for Isakassees for her efforts at pre-reading. And not to forget Booksgalore, who keeps asking me what the hell I'm up to. Don't be surprised if Douglas makes an appearance.

Don't worry, he'll carry his own copyright. ;-)

And thank you all for reading, and thank you for the reviews. Y'all are part of the reason Edward's ... hmm ... private parts are so happy.

Come join us on the Twilighted forum if you'd like, under AU. Sometimes I'm sane, sometimes I'm not.

Oh yeah, I'm going to be one of the judges in a contest called Monster-in-law. Details, here:

www . fanfiction . net/u/2326991/Monster-In-Law_Contest.

Voila!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my boxing ring...**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

**If you're confused, shoot me a note, and I'll unconfuse you :-)**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 5**

**_EAM POV_  
**

I scowled at the chicken in mushroom sauce swimming in the plate before me. It was one of my favorite dishes, one of the slew of favorite meals that Esme's been whipping up for me since my stay in the hospital. It was things like this that made her such a special woman, a loving woman who gave and expected little in return. And I was meeting her expectations – I gave back nothing.

I dropped my head, looking down at the napkin in my lap as shame started to overwhelm me. It's been two years, and I still remain closed off, still obsessed over their death. Bella was the first thing to touch me since then, and my obsession with her seemed to make crystal clear how unfair I'd been to Esme, the woman who took on the role of my mother but was instead treated by me as a housekeeper.

So the least I should do is devour the food in front of me, but I couldn't. All I've felt since I ran from school this morning, claiming illness, are two things – disgust, and uncontrolled lust. No matter how many times I've brushed my teeth, or rinsed my mouth, I could still taste that drop of her blood. I wasn't disgusted because it tasted vile, I was disgusted because it still tasted like the sweetest honey ever produced. I was disgusted because of what I'd done, because I'd enjoyed it, and because I knew that if the opportunity presented itself again...

I'd spent the day in my room, researching illnesses that could explain my behavior. When I wasn't scanning through Google, I daydreamed about the beauty of Bella Swan. I split my time between learning about various iron deficiencies, and hiding in the shower as the taste of her blood reinforced the arousal I already had just from thoughts of her. I jacked off three times today to fantasies of her body and the taste of the sweet nectar held inside, and since I was hardening again at the dinner table, I should probably run upstairs and jack off again.

I was a brute, perverted…

Even worse, I was a cannibal.

I tried to console myself with logic. After studying and rejecting a variety of diseases, including a bunch that Carlisle would have already detected, I'd decided it could be an iron deficiency – even if Carlisle didn't catch it, even if studies showed it would not be related to a desire for blood.

Correction, not just blood - Bella's blood. Maybe there was something specific in hers that my body was lacking? There was no way to find out without testing her blood against mine, and I could just see it now…

"_Bella, do you mind if a draw a vial of blood from you for a science experiment?"_

"_Of course not, Edward, but why don't you do what you've already done, drink it from the source?"_

Argh. Tomorrow, after school, I'd stop by the drug store and pick up iron supplements. And they get locked in my desk, along with the journal. Not even Alice would know about this.

"Edward," Carlisle put down his fork and turned to me. "Chief Swan's daughter, Isabella, was in the ER today." His eyes momentarily dropped to my uneaten dinner, but said nothing. "I hear she has you to thank for her life."

"Carlisle, it was nothing. I saw the van coming, and did what I'd do for anyone." I paused. "Is she okay?"

He nodded. "A small cut on her forehead, that's about it." He glanced at my full plate again before asking Emmett how his day was.

_Nothing more?_ _Bella said nothing to Carlisle about the disgusting thing I'd done?_ I glanced around the table — Alice's eyes were still bloodshot, but she was ignoring me. Esme was listening to the exchange between Carlisle and Emmett.

_No one saw my monstrous behavior?_

Regardless, the only safe thing I could do was stay away from her, even if it meant giving up the only girl who's ever interested me. I winced… it hurt just to think about it. Hmm, maybe as soon as I had this blood thing sorted out...

I didn't need to look down to know I was in worse shape than before. Adjusting myself for minimal exposure — _how did guys live their lives this way_ — I got ready to lie. Again.

"Esme," I looked at her sweet face, "I'm still a little nauseous," pointing to my plate, "I hope you don't mind…"

She gave me a soft smile and nodded her head. "Go. If you're hungry later just let me know. I'll be happy to put something together for you."

"Uh, thanks." I could feel my shame again, only made worse by the looks of concern from everyone at the table. These people cared, why couldn't I reciprocate? I pushed back from the table, and making sure my shirt was un-tucked and covering my... yeah... I made a hasty exit.

Trudging up the stairs, I thought about what Alice said earlier today, how Esme never steps inside my room. Standing at the doorway, I looked around and grimaced. Normally the condition of my room didn't even register with me, but suddenly I was looking at it, really looking at it, and to be honest, it was pretty gross. I was smart enough not to leave dishes around, I didn't want bugs in here, but dirty clothes were everywhere, with CD's, papers, and books scattered all over the floor. I took a deep breath and gave my jeans a yank. No time like the present.

Two hours later, and although there was still dust all around, the floor could be seen, the CD's and books were sorted, and my journal was sitting on top of a relatively clean desk. My room hadn't looked this good in over a year.

"Holy shit, Edward, what did you do in here?"

I cringed, and turned to see Alice standing by my door, a makeup mirror in one hand and a bag of cosmetics in the other. She was fully aware my door was never open, for anyone, but I guess it was my fault. I forgot to close it after delivering my last load of dirty clothes to the laundry room.

"Alice, I…"

She threw her stuff down on my desk and darted out the door. Before I had a chance to close it she was back, camera in hand.

"You do understand this is a Kodak moment, right?" She giggled, running around the room with her camera to her face, taking shots of all the clean surfaces while I let out a sigh and sank into my desk chair.

"Esme will be so excited when she sees these. She forgot what the color of the carpet was."

"Alice, don't you…" and she was gone. This girl was a force of nature. I think she got away with as much as she did because no one could pin her down long enough to question her. Then I noticed her mirror and makeup were still sitting on my desk. I picked up both, carrying the makeup bag like it might contaminate me — because it truly might — and brought them to her room.

"Delivery," I chuckled, and dropped them on her bed. She was already at her computer, camera plugged in, uploading photos and getting ready to print.

And then I remembered, that moment when we first arrived at the school. Alice's far-away gaze, her sudden screams for me to get out of the car, to get to Bella.

_How did she...?_ I hated to bring it up, but now that I remembered it, I had to get an answer before it started chewing at me – along with the rest of this whole blood-licking business.

"By the way, why did you tell me to get to Bella? How did you know?

She didn't respond. I stood there, looking at the back of her head while she faced her monitor, the printer spitting out photos. She was still, the only movement the slight rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed. I walked around to look at her face, and she just seemed to be staring into space.

"Alice?" She shivered, and looked up at me, her eyes still red and irritated.

She shrugged. "I don't know, Edward. It was like a dream I had, but it wasn't." She shivered again and smiled at me. "Just glad you could help her, now get out of here, I have to get ready for Jazz." She got up, grabbed her makeup bag, and before I had a chance to leave she threw one of the photos at me. I barely managed to catch it before it floated to the floor.

"See ya later, Alice. And talk to Carlisle about your headaches."

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbled, closing the door behind me.

'Life was unfair,' I thought to myself as I trudged back to my room. I wind up in the hospital having every test known to man because of a sore throat, and no one notices the girl looks like she's suffering from migraines. Daily. Obviously, I need to work on my technique.

Back in my room I threw the photo on my desk and sat down. I had the fountain pen and ink out – I just needed to figure out exactly what I wanted to write. Yes, it would be about Bella. I picked up the photo while I pondered what kind of great prose I'd produce. Then I looked at it.

Alice caught my desk in the photo, complete with her mirror dropped on top of my journal. Taking a close look, she seemed to have caught part of my face reflected in the mirror.

Surprisingly, it was a damned good photo, the kind of thing that would be interesting if she did it on purpose. I studied it more carefully – she might actually have talent.

_What the hell?_

I brought it up closer to my eyes and stared at the tiny reflection of half of my face. I looked so pale in the photo and… I looked a little closer. I'd heard of red eye but… I searched around my desk for anything that could have caused an odd reflection. I peered at the photo again. Why did my eye look… _amber?_

Has to be some kind of weird effect with digital cameras. I'll Google it later. But for now…

I opened up the journal and picked up my pen. The sketch of Bella was pretty good, even if I said so myself. Too bad the next words would be about my need to stay away from her while I figured out what was wrong. Lyrically written, of course.

I leaned over, pen in hand, when I saw something odd, like a shadow on the paper. I looked behind my shoulder, but nothing was there. As I bent back down it shifted, like the shadow of a moving arm, and _what the fuck..._

I threw the pen down and stood up, knocking the chair over as I backed up, getting away from the desk and the book as fast as possible, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the page as I watched the words appear, as if floating up to the top of water, solidifying right under the sketch of Bella.

_Who are you, and how do you know her?_

_What the fuck. This isn't possible. This is not fucking possible._ I was breathing hard, fast, backing away. I felt my head start to buzz, my vision narrow but I couldn't stop it, couldn't control my breathing. This is insane, _'this isn't fucking real,'_ were my last thoughts as the room started to tilt and I reached out for something, anything to grab onto as I fell to the floor.

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

"So, what's happening, Eddie?" Emmett was lounging on a boulder after draining a couple of does, a smirk hovering around his lips. Jasper came sauntering up to us and made himself comfortable next to him. This did not bode well.

Jasper looked down, and picked a piece of lint off his sweater. "Spill."

"There's nothing to..."

"Bullshit," Emmett smirked. I turned to Jasper for help, but he just raised his eyebrows while he continued to pick lint.

"Talk to us, Edward."

Deflect. "What happened at the school after I left? I assumed Bella was taken to the hospital?"

"No," Jasper answered. "She refused to go, she said she was fine."

"What the... she was not fine. At the very least, the woman was in shock!" What was wrong with them? I assumed when I left they'd all make sure she'd be hospitalized.

Jasper laughed, and started blocking his thoughts. "Don't worry Edward, that's the least of our concerns. But I can guarantee Rosalie will want to talk about this with Carlisle when he gets home."

"And what are _your_ thoughts?"

"I could act like a soldier, and say she's collateral damage."

"_Over my dead body!"_ I was on my feet in a flash, my knuckles white. "Don't…don't you even…," I stuttered.

"Cool it, Edward," Jasper laughed. I did not see the humor.

"Oddly enough, no one seemed to have noticed what you did, at least not based on the emotional tenor of all those around us. Emmett managed to slip into the crowd and alter the dent on the van enough that it looks like it was stopped by hitting the rear quarter panel of Bella's truck."

I looked at Emmett incredulously. "Thanks, man," I mumbled. They'd do that? _He'd do that for a human?_

Jasper shrugged. "We're doing it for you, Edward. We don't know her well enough to grant these kinds of favors. And the way I see it, Rose can rant all she likes, I think the risk is minimal."

"Why are you helping me with this? I'm the one who's apparently lost his mind."

"Why don't you tell _us? _Why the interest in the new human?"

I'm not sure I had a great deal of choice any longer, I needed advice, and this might be more comfortable than confiding in Carlisle.

"I know I'm probably letting myself in for a century of teasing, but I don't know how to handle this. I've seen you with your wives, I've… uh… heard your thoughts. Not that I wanted to intrude but," if I could have blushed..., "it was nothing as obsessive as this." I sighed and put my face in my hands. "I feel like I'm being flooded with the hormones of a randy teenager, but since I don't even have hormones..."

"Is it even possible to mate with a human?" Startled, I looked over at Emmett, who for a rare change looked absolutely serious. "What, I have to be the village idiot all the time?" He sighed. "It gets old."

"The word has two connotations Emmett, and although I don't know about the 'life partner' part of it I highly doubt the second meaning could happen."

"Won't know unless you try."

"Not an option."

"Why?" Jasper asked. What was he leading to? Now both he and Emmett were blocking me. They were getting far too good at this.

"The way I've been feeling, I'd probably kill her first. I don't mean blood lust," I clarified. "Strangely enough, that's been pretty much under control."

"Then what, afraid you'll fuck her to death?"

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't get angry. It may have been crude, but it was the truth.

Unfortunately, I hadn't realized how crude this could get.

"There are ways you can take the edge off it, Eddie," Emmett laughed. "I mean, aside from the vampire and human business, if I'd been waiting since 1918, even Rose might suffer damage."

"Emmett, don't go there." This was beyond the pale.

"I'm just suggesting you do something more than shampoo your hair next time you're in the show…" He managed to avoid the rock I threw at his head, falling over onto his back in a fit of laughter. I looked to Jasper for support, but based on the suppressed mirth on his face, I wasn't going to find it there. I tried to gather myself together, to retain some shred of dignity.

"Look, this is all hypothetical because there are a few issues here. One, I can barely control myself even without touching her, and that's a big problem – even if I did as you suggested, and took the edge off. Two, the other students may not have noticed what happened today, but she surely did."

"And three, and the biggest issue, is I can't imagine she'd feel the same as I do..."

"Oh, I wouldn't feel too sure about that Edward." Jasper laughed.

"Why not? I virtually attacked her while we were still hidden between the cars. If I hadn't come to my senses... I mean, I wanted to disrobe her, for heaven's sake. The woman was in shock, and my response was sexual assault?"

Jasper shook his head, his laughter dying down. "It wasn't shock, Edward. Not at all."

"Then what?" I was starting to repeat myself.

Jasper smirked. "It was lust, Edward. Plain and simple lust. Bella's got it bad, maybe as bad as you."

I just looked down, astonished. Then I shook my head, resolute. Even if Jasper was right, there was no way this could end well. I was a vampire, and if I wanted her to stay alive, I absolutely could not let her find out. The kiss, the embrace was bad enough. She was probably already wondering about my cold, hard skin and lips.

I turned around so my brothers couldn't see me. Just the thought of her lips…

Of course, none of this addressed the issue of the journal. The only one who knew about that was Alice. And for now, that's how it was going to remain.

'*'

"Alice, stop being the mysterious seer for once." I was in no mood for games, furiously pacing my room, the journal in my hand. "My entire life is turning upside down, between Bella and this book, and if I don't start getting answers soon we'll be looking for a mental institution for me – one that will believe me when I tell them I'm a vampire.

"Damn, Edward, there isn't a whole lot more I can tell you. I keep seeing flashes of you, but it's not you. It makes absolutely no sense. Even the room looks a whole lot like this one. And then... nothing. It's like a record stuck on repeat, cycling again and again.

I stopped, my frustration building, all of it. I could feel my temper getting out of hand and although Alice didn't deserve it, I didn't care. I felt like I was ready to explode, in more ways than one. I turned my back on her, adjusted my jeans one more time and spun around, shaking that damned journal at her.

"If you'd take a moment to focus, really focus, you'd…"

"Edward?"

I stopped ranting, not liking the tone of her voice. "What?"

She bent down and picked up a piece of paper. "This fell out of the journal." She turned it over, and gasped. I grabbed it out of her hand.

It was a photo of this room, and what appeared to be a photo of me sitting at my desk, taken from behind. _When was this taken?_ I took a closer look – I didn't even own a shirt like that, but I knew that was my back, my hair…

On the desk was the journal, a mirror on top of the leather cover catching part of the reflection of my face, just a little around my cheek and eye. I didn't need to hold it closer to see what made Alice gasp. My skin looked... pink.

And my eye, the one that was visible in the mirror, was green.

* * *

**A/N**

Welcome back to the ring for Round 5! I've just started to fuck with these guys.

Now, for all those out there who have studied quantum physics – I'm fully aware of what the Multiple Universe Theory is. My husband has his degree in physics, and I had to learn this stuff if I wanted to talk to him. It's fascinating. If y'all are interested in the real magic of this universe, go run and find The Dancing Wu Li Masters by Gary Zukov. It's Quantum Mechanics for the non-mathematical amongst us.

It'll blow your mind.

Anyway, the real theory says that each time Edward made a decision in one universe, another universe splits off with Edward making the other choice. And so on, for each and every sentient being. And they don't have to be big choices, they can be as simple as whether or not you put sugar in your coffee that day.

These are not hair-brained ideas. In fact, the Multiple Universe Theory survived an experiment aimed at proving it.

But I simplified it for this story, or we'd all be even more confused than we currently are.

Anyway, think about it, and come play on the Twilighted thread under Alternate Universe. That seems fitting, doesn't it?

And thank you all for reading, and for reviewing, and a thank you to isakassees for listening to me whine this week.

Onward...


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my playpen...**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

_**

* * *

**_

**Chapter 6**

**_EAM POV_  
**

The world had morphed into green, fuzzy blades of grass. Maybe they were trees? I blinked, and re-focused. It was hard to tell which they were. They stood upright and true, with odd bits forced between like boulders strewn onto a field by a monster or giant. Perhaps I was that giant. Call me Gulliver. Will the Lilliputians come to call?

I blinked again, and remembered where I was. The low throb in my head wasn't too painful, and the ache in my shoulder reminded me why I was down on the floor, my cheek pressed against the green carpet, only one eye open. I examined the boulders again. This room definitely needed to be vacuumed. I didn't want to think what I was currently lying on, or what those boulders might actually be. If I was lucky, they were no more than stray kernels of popcorn.

I haven't had that much luck lately.

Rolling over with a groan I stared at the ceiling as the events of the evening rushed back at me. I let my eyes drift to the upturned chair, and the desk beyond it, the journal sitting open, looking innocent. But I knew it was anything but. Staggering to my feet, I lurched over to my bed and sat on the soft mattress, feeling it scrunch down under my weight as I continued to stare at the open book. The house was quiet, and a quick glance at my clock answered why – it was four in the morning. I guess I should be happy no one heard me fall when I blacked out, or it would be back to Forks General for me. I groaned…school in a few hours. But first...

Poised with a hanger from my closet as if it was a sword, I ignored the voice in my head that informed me it was nothing more than a coward's tool. Carefully slipping the edge of the hanger under the left side of the journal I flipped the cover closed. There, all gone. I would think about it another time, some time when I'd be more inclined to give in to my obviously growing madness.

But for now, back to sleep.

All morning at school, she was the only thing I could think about as I drifted from class to class. Lunch was even worse with nothing to distract me; until the tension in my belly drew a knot so tight eating wasn't an option.

I pushed my tray away and caught Alice's scowl. "What's your problem?"

"You. You haven't been yourself for days now, not since you bought..." She stopped talking, her mouth agape. "In fact, neither one of us has been normal since you bought that journal."

She didn't know the half of it. She knew no more than the last name added to mine. Nothing about the shadows or words mysteriously appearing while I watched. Nothing about the burn in my throat that's become my personal GPS for the location of Isabella Swan. Nothing about the excessive salivating that came with it. Nothing about the raging lust for this woman that haunted my every waking moment, inspired every dream at night. Nothing about the near constant buzzing in my ears that increased in volume in crowded places, with words scattered throughout the buzzing, that only subsided when I was alone.

And most certainly, nothing about the consuming desire for Bella's blood that's only exceeded by my desire for her body. And I surely wasn't about to start talking about that.

But this was my own madness, and it had nothing to do with a book purchased in Port Angeles, of all places.

"Alice, I'm sure we're both seeing more in this than there really is. It's just an old book." I looked at her more carefully. Yeah, she still looked like shit. "But I have to warn you, if you don't say something to Carlisle about the headaches, like...tonight, I will."

"Mind your own business," she hissed, "or I'll casually mention how you've been looking pale too." Well, yeah. I noticed that this morning after my shower. I also noticed I didn't need to shave. Again.

"Fine. I'll visit you at the hospital when it's your turn," I chuckled, trying to lighten the conversation as I got up to dump my tray of uneaten food. "See ya later, don't want to be late."

No, not for bio. Definitely didn't want to be late.

But when I got there, when I saw her...

I looked down at the table instead of continuing to stare at the beautiful girl walking towards me. The burning increased exponentially as she came closer, my mouth flooding with saliva as I smelled the light floral scent that seemed to surround her. My jeans tightened just knowing she'd be close.

But the draw to her blood seemed to have diminished. Was there hope?

"Hi, Edward," she said softly as she took her seat. I risked a glance at her, and her eyes were bright and sparkling, her cheeks a lovely shade of rose, a small bandage adorned her temple and her smile was breathtaking.

"Hi," I sighed, dropping my chin into my hand before I realized what I was doing. I straightened up and started to pull my hands off the desk when I felt it. It was like nothing I'd felt before when her soft hand descended onto mine, wrapping the top of my hand in her slim fingers.

She gripped my hand tighter. "I have to thank you, so much, for what you did yesterday. Were you hurt when we fell?"

Hurt? She was worried about me? I shook my head vigorously, too startled to speak. All I could do was stare at her hand on mine, and will my cock to stop trying to claw its way out of my jeans.

"Edward, if it wasn't for you, I'd have been killed." Her smile grew wider as she slid her chair closer to mine. I was inches away from her face, close enough for me to now be certain. She wore no makeup at all. That timeless beauty was all her own.

"Uh." I could see my ability to be articulate knew no bounds. What the fuck could I say? I hadn't prepared a damned thing because I wasn't supposed to be talking to her. I was supposed to be ignoring her until I could get past this blood thing and oh god I just wanted to lick her neck. Would it taste like flowers, too?

Good thing Banner walked in, pushing a cart filled with all sorts of crap for the class.

"Okay kids, blood typing today. Come grab your stuff."

"Oh shit, no." My eyes flew up to hers, did she really just curse? My goddess, Aphrodite, Venus, my Juliet cursed? _Damn, that was hot_. I had just managed to come up with a witty retort about her foul mouth when I realized what Banner had said.

"Oh shit, no," was the next thing out of my mouth. Bella's blood? Next to me? _Oh fuck me now..._

"I have to go..." we both said at the same time, wide eyes looking at each other. _What the fuck?_

"Take my lead," she whispered. "I'll explain later."

She raised her hand. "Mr. Banner, I'm feeling dizzy and a little nauseous. Maybe it was something I ate." She put her hand on her stomach and slouched in her seat, looking like she was miserably sick.

I heard it in my head before I heard it with my ears. _"I'll take her to the nurse!"_ Newton jumped out of his chair and jogged towards our table. _Over my dead body._

"Back in your seat, Mr. Newton, your grades can't afford the time away." Banner turned to me. "Edward, if you don't mind, would you escort Isabella to Mrs. Copes' office?"

_Yes!_

"Of course." I stood and offered her my hand, and dropped it back to my side when she didn't notice my chivalry. When she grabbed her book bag I did the same, and we left the classroom – Bella shuffling and moaning, me right behind her, wondering of my job was to catch her if she fainted. Not that I knew anything about fainting. Not that anyone else knew what I might know about fainting. Appearances are 99% of reality. I think I just made that up.

Speaking of reality, I could hear Newton cursing and since Banner wasn't screaming... no, think about it later. One life-altering insane incident at a time. It was my new motto.

Bella sighed. "The smell of blood makes me sick. If I didn't get out of there before the first pinprick, I'd be visiting your father at the hospital again."

So, Carlisle told her he was my father? I wonder what else he said. "Uh, he's not really my father, Bella. He's kinda my foster parent." Hopefully, letting her know I was fostered would minimize the damage in case he said something embarrassing, like 'Hey, did you know Edward was just in here last week with his ass waving in the wind while we did allergy testing? Hang on, I took photos.'

She turned to me while we continued down the hall, and simply nodded. "So, Edward, why did you want to get out of there?" Shit, I forgot. Busted. Think quickly, Masen.

Ah! "I spent all of last week being tested; the last thing I wanted was to be stuck with another needle." _Yeah, good one._

Bella stopped and faced me, fidgeting with her backpack. "Look, I'm not going to be able to go back to class, and my next class is gym. I should be able to use this to get out for the day and I was wondering, do you think you could get out too?"

She said the last part really fast, and really softly, and my stomach did a flip in concert with my heart and suddenly I didn't care about burning throats and drooling. However, I took the book that was in my hand and moved it in front of me. No way could she have missed that. I think I better start wearing a jock. With a cup.

"Sure... you want me to suggest to Mrs. Copes that I need to drive you home?"

Bella's smile lit up the hallway. "It's a plan, let's go."

Fifteen minutes later we were in my Volvo, parked in front of her house. I was searching my pockets for one of the good throat lozenges, Bella was biting her lip. The same lip I wanted to bite.

"Charlie's not home yet," she said, that damned lip still in between her teeth.

"Who?" Who the hell is Charlie. A brother maybe?

She laughed. "Sorry, I meant my father. I just... think of him that way," she mumbled, shrugging. I had to look away, that shrug made her gorgeous breasts do interesting things. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I'd reached my limit between her lovely face, her luscious body, her floral scent, my burning throat, my raging hard-on and my desperate need to drool.

"Want to go for a walk in the woods behind the house? It's really nice back there."

I nodded. Fresh air. Good. Need fresh air. I opened up my door and almost fell out of the car in my haste, rushing around to her side to help her out of the car. I may not be able to speak, but I remembered my manners. But I almost forgot something else.

Standing behind the open door, pretty much blocking her view, I pulled my shirt out of my pants and adjusted the shirt tails over my... problem.

"Just getting comfortable," I muttered.

"It's just a walk, Edward. And we're not going too far. Come on," she said, and her smile was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I hope I smiled back, I wasn't sure, but she seemed satisfied as she turned and walked towards the back yard, to the tree line. I hurried to keep up, needing to walk next to her. The view from behind was more than my jeans were going to be able to contain.

"There's a quiet spot with a log. I thought we could sit and talk," she whispered while she blushed furiously. I looked at her, surprised. Up until now she acted like she had far more confidence than me, taking the lead when I couldn't do more than gape and drool. But suddenly she looked unsure, and I wanted to try to reassure her – if I could figure out how to talk again.

"I'd like that," I managed to spit out, and gave her my biggest smile. She blushed again, and looked down at her feet. I looked at her feet too. I wondered what they looked like. Did she have pretty little toes? Were they smooth with a high arch leading to shapely ankles and toned... fuck. Bad idea. Look at the trees.

We rounded a bend in the trail and reached the fallen tree Bella mentioned. It was huge, and moss covered, with a heavy canopy of leaves above it. It looked like the kind of place that might even stay dry in a light rain.

Bella took a seat and I sat next to her, keeping a respectable distance between us. I was looking down at my hands twisting in my lap, knowing I should say something to break the silence, when I heard Bella giggle. I looked up, and she was grinning at a Douglas squirrel sitting on the far end of the log. He appeared to have a little collection of almonds in front of him, and then he raised his head and looked at me. I swear, his ears pricked up, he cocked his head and maintained eye contact. Bella looked between the two of us, and I just chuckled and turned away. Weird critter.

"Do you know this squirrel?" she asked.

_Yes, I'm well acquainted with all manner of woodland creatures._

"Uh, no?" I looked again, and he was still staring at me. It was almost creepy. I hoped he wasn't rabid or something. But my thoughts about squirrels, and almost everything else, ground to a halt at the touch of a soft hand upon mine. I turned to see her smile, and I melted. Screw the squirrel.

"So, Dr. Cullen isn't your real father." She paused, and withdrew her hand, blushing again. "Would you tell me what happened? I know you've only lived here for two years."

My hand tingled from where she had touched it, and I frantically tried to think of anything I could do to make her touch me again. Swallowing past the burn, and the lump forming in my throat, I decided she'd be the first person I'd talk to, _really_ talk to, about what happened. Part of me was afraid to broach the subject, afraid of the possibility I might break down in front of her, but another part of me needed her to know.

And maybe she'd want to touch my hand again.

"My parents, my real parents, were wildlife biologists." There, I'd said it, the lump in my throat that had added to the burn eased a bit. "They travelled all over the world, as they were given assignments, as grant money was available."

"Their name was Masen?" she asked.

I nodded. "Edward and Elizabeth. Edward senior, that is." I took another deep breath. "You could probably Google them..." and let out that breath. The burn, the pain was worse than I'd anticipated.

"Anyway," I said, my voice cracking, "they traveled, I traveled..."

"Didn't you go to school?" she interrupted.

I shook my head. "No, they home-schooled me – both of them taught me. My life was spent with them, and helping them with their work."

She reached over and touched my hand again. _Yes!_ This time, without even thinking about it, I flipped my hand so I could grab hers, and hold it there. It was heaven and most unexpectedly, it was also comforting. Really comforting. I ignored the burn and continued.

"Our last, I mean _their_ last assignment, was in Denali, Alaska."

"Where is that?"

"Uh, it's north of Anchorage. Quite a bit north, not too much around except State Parks – but those were the kinds of places we usually went to." I heaved a sigh, remembering. "I liked it, even if it was isolated. I liked almost all the places we went to."

"I can't imagine growing up that way." She shook her head and looked down.

"I suppose most people wouldn't like not having a permanent home. I mean, we did, we just weren't there too much."

"That's not what I meant," she said softly, squeezing my hand. "I mean that in a good way, I think I'd love it."

_Really, she would?_ I looked into her eyes, and all I saw was sincerity. For a moment, I didn't even think about the burn, or her blood, or her body. I thought about_... her. _The person inside the most luscious body I'd ever seen.

Guess I still had a ways to go. I cleared my throat and tried not to let her see me wince.

"Anyway, we were staying in a small cabin; mom and dad were part of a team checking both grizzly and polar bear populations. Both of them had expertise in bear, especially the more aggressive species. The cabin was near a small lake, and it was late spring and," I felt my voice start to crack again. I could get past this part. "One day mom was walking by the lake, and came across some dead birds." There, I'd said it.

Bella looked at me, brow arched, asking me to continue.

"Uh, they knew there had been reports out of Asia, and some out of Siberia, but it hadn't occurred to them it could have travelled to Alaska that quickly. The dead birds were Canadian Geese. They should have followed the migratory routes from the south, not from the west, not over the Bering Straits."

She squeezed my hand again. "What was it Edward?"

I took a deep breath. "Avian influenza." She cringed, understanding the ramifications. "Apparently, a lethal strain, more powerful than usual bird to human cross-contagion. The three of us were on the road, struggling to get to Anchorage, to a hospital, within a week." I closed my eyes, remembering the journey, all of us sick, the Rover bouncing on the rutted roads, driving as fast as possible. "I was only fifteen, but even I took a turn at driving. Each of us took a turn so the others could sleep through the fever."

"We were quarantined at the hospital, and a doctor who had some expertise in unusual influenza strains was brought in from Washington State." I closed my eyes and ran my hand over my face. I could feel the pain, the panic, the fear again. Bella took her other hand, and sandwiched mine between her own.

"They didn't last more than a week, Bella," I whispered. I could almost hear their coughs, the rattles of their chest as they died, with me in the next bed. "Uh," I swallowed again. "Apparently, they shot me up with every kind of antibiotic and antiviral they could think of. It was another month until I was out of the woods. Another month until my lung functions got back to normal."

"Edward, I ... I don't know what to say." I looked up at her, and she had a tear falling down her cheek. I reached over and wiped it away. Bella was crying for me? No one had ever cried for me.

"Don't cry, okay? I mean, I lived, right?"

"But you were there with them, Edward. You watched them... die," she whispered. "I don't know if I could have done that, and remained sane."

She understood. Someone finally understood. It wasn't just their death, the deaths of my parents who were also my best friends. It was watching them die; it was trying to live after I lost them. It was trying to understand why I deserved to live when they didn't.

I scooted a little closer to her, and reached out my arm and gently wrapped it around her shoulders. She needed to be comforted. I could do that for her.

"The influenza expert was Dr. Cullen, in case you hadn't guessed." She nodded, and leaned into my side. I could feel her chest hitch on occasion as she continued to softly cry. "He offered to foster me, and since he had such a stellar reputation with the other two he had fostered, and then adopted, the State authorities agreed, and allowed him to move me to Washington."

"No other relatives?"

"No." I shook my head. Both of my parents lost their parents years earlier. No cousins that I know of. Just... the three of us." I rubbed my hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort her. I felt emotions running through me I'd never felt before, and I didn't know how to interpret them. All thoughts about all of the strangeness since she arrived at school, since I bought that book, were gone. Suddenly it was Bella and I, a girl I barely knew who... understood me.

Her shivering grew worse. "Are you cold, we could head back if you like?" She shook her head violently.

"No, I don't want to go." She took a deep breath and squeezed my hand harder, almost painfully. Then she twisted so she faced me, looking up at me sitting next to her. Before I could react she craned her neck up and brought her face to mine, her head tilted to the side, her lips brushing my own. I was so startled I couldn't move, the heat between us building, the burn smoldering in my throat but I couldn't give a shit. Bella's lips were right there. I started to move towards her when she pulled back slightly, just enough to look into my eyes.

"I moved to Forks because my mother was the first Phoenix victim of H1N1 Influenza," she whispered, before she closed the gap and pressed her soft, plump lips against my own.

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

I had just finished telling Bella how my parents died of the flu, although I certainly didn't tell her it was the Spanish Influenza pandemic of 1918. We were sitting on a log in the woods, and for the life of me I never would have imagined myself here, with Isabella Swan. And I was certain this is not where I should be.

But blood typing in biology was not the best place for a vampire to be. I was working on ways to get out of the class, wondering why Alice hadn't warned me, when Isabella turned to me and asked me to follow her lead. The next thing I knew, I was escorting a 'sick' Bella to the nurse's office, and then driving her home. Until she suggested a walk in the woods, that is.

I'd said nothing to her about what happened yesterday, and she'd said nothing to me thus far, but I could hear her heart beating wildly every time I so much as glanced at her. But the truth was, if I had a heart, it would be beating the same way. At this point there was virtually no draw to her blood, no more than any other human. My problem was, all I could think about was her body, her floral scent, her skin, her lips...

I wish I knew what she was thinking.

_Wait._

I looked over at her, sitting on the log next to me, and I concentrated. _What the... _ Why hadn't I noticed this? Have I been so caught up in that damned book and her luscious body and the paradox of mating with a human that I hadn't realized? _And why couldn't I hear her?_ _What the hell was wrong with...?_

"Edward?"

I pulled out of my thoughts and turned to her. Act normal, Cullen.

"Yes, Bella?"

I heard her heartbeat shoot to a frantic pace. "I haven't had the opportunity to thank you yet," she whispered.

"It's not necessary, Bella. Truly, anyone would have…"

"Not the way you did," she said, giving me a pointed look.

This is not good. Okay, well yeah, I expected it. She wasn't blind, even if the idea of shock still wasn't resolved, as far as I was concerned.

"Bella, it was a traumatic situation. I simply pulled you away, and the van hit the back of your pickup and…"

"I'm not blind, Edward. I don't intend to talk about it to anyone, but I clearly saw what you did, and what your brother Emmett did when he altered the dent."

Much worse than I thought.

"Bella, look, my brother is particularly strong and I'm sure you thought you saw something…"

"You don't need to tell me more, just don't lie if you do, okay?" Her cheeks were turning a delightful shade of pink as I watched her start to blush.

"I'm more interested in whether or not you meant it," she whispered.

"Excuse me?"

She moved closer to me on the log, and I dropped my hands to my lap, folding them in front of me, praying she couldn't see the embarrassing predicament my body was in. I took a deep breath as she moved a little closer, and craned her neck up, bringing her face within inches of mine.

"Did you mean this," she barely breathed, and then brushed her lips across mine.

I gasped into her mouth, and without even thinking about it, I moved my hands from my lap and slid them over her waist, behind her back and pressed her to me, gently… Silk over glass I reminded myself as I kissed, carefully taking her bottom lip and drawing it between mine, tasting it, feeling the softness, the smoothness, the plumpness of her lip. Feeling it swell as she got more aroused, smelling her arousal start to drift around us.

She twisted and slid into my lap, straddling me. Holy mother of god, her heat was astonishing! I tilted my head more and drew her closer, and this time it was her turn to gasp as she reached up and circled her arms around my neck, pressing herself against me, against my cold chest, her heat painful close to... Even through her sweater I could feel her nipples turn rock hard as she pushed against my cold chest and I got so hard I hurt, I throbbed, I needed her, this girl, this woman, and I needed her now.

I broke the kiss and ran my lips and tongue across her cheek, down to her jaw, to her neck, to the sweet scent of flowers and pulsating blood, but I didn't want to drink her blood. I wanted her, the salt of her skin, the taste of her arousal, and the mysteries of the silk of her body in all its hidden curves. More, I needed more. My hands slid down her back, feeling the delicate muscles, the fragile bones as I slid forward and up her ribs, my hands moving themselves as they crawled over the mounds of her breasts so I could finally feel the peaks, the hardness of her nipples against my palms. I whimpered and Bella echoed it as she pushed herself harder into my hands, shivering under my touch as I licked my way from her collarbone to her ear, her breasts in both my hands and oh god I wanted to take her, take her now…

_No, not now, not here_. With every drop in strength in me I took a deep breath and slowed myself, dropping my hands back to her waist, and slid them down to her hips. I raised my head and pushed my face into her mane of thick, dark hair, breathing rapidly, trying to control myself. Bella's heart was fluttering, and she was moaning my name softly.

And to my amazement, I felt no shame.

"Bella, love," I gasped into her hair. "We need to slow down." I felt her nod as she laid her head on my shoulder, trying to control her own breathing.

"Just don't go away, don't disappear, okay?" she said in a small voice. It was almost as if she knew how frightened I was, but I could no longer deny this woman owned me.

"Never, Bella," I assured her, pulling her as close to me as I dared, always afraid I'd hurt her.

"I didn't harm you, did I?"

She shook her head and pulled me closer. "You won't hurt me, Edward." Then she giggled.

I leaned back to see what was so funny, and she ran her fingers across my jaw. "Well, next time shave, it'll be a little less scratchy," she laughed, and kissed my cheek.

I pulled back and stared at her first in confusion, then shock as my fingers felt the stubble on my jaw that had not grown since 1918.

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**A/N**

Welcome back. And the citrus begins!

Anyway, come play on the Twilighted thread under Alternate Universe. That seems fitting, doesn't it?

And thank you all for reading, and for reviewing, and thank you's to both Alicedances and Isakassees for listening to me this week, and to Booksgalore/Bookishqua for the generous loan of Douglas. I may not be ready to give him back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my Edwards...**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

_**Btw, my beta is on vacation, and I'm flying without a parachute. Be kind. Please?  
**_

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**Chapter 7**

_**EAM POV**_

All the thoughts that sprang to my mind as soon as Bella told me how her mother died immediately dissolved when I felt her lips touch mine. My throat was on fire as I swallowed the pools of saliva but I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her waist, tilt my head, and crush my lips to hers, drawing her closer to me, to the outrageously raging hard-on that was screaming for release. I've never wanted anyone, but fuck I wanted her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.

And then, almost as one, we both switched to tender, soft, tickling lips as we pulled back. I opened my eyes and found myself staring into hers, wide and dilated She pulled back more and gave me a soft smile.

"Wow," she whispered, and I watched the blush rush to her cheeks. The burn in my throat flared but I ignored it again, and buried my face in her neck and held her, trying to control my breathing, swallowing desperately, trying to figure out how to ease the ache in my pants.

I took a deep breath of her lovely fragrance, gave her neck a tender kiss and sat back, bringing my hand to her cheek. "Can you tell me what happened to your mother?" I asked.

Bella closed her eyes for a moment, and leaned her face into my hand. "It was a nightmare," she whispered, opening her eyes and looking into mine, hers reflecting the sorrow and pain that should never burn in the eyes of someone so young. I lifted my arm and wrapped it around her shoulder, drawing her to my side, leaving her a little bit of space, and as much time as she needed.

"You don't need to tell me if…"

"No, Edward, I want to." She took a deep breath and wrapped her arm around my waist, leaning into my shoulder.

"You know I lived in Phoenix?" she asked, looking up at me. I nodded, and she dropped her head back to my shoulder. "It was all very simple," she said softly. "Mom caught a cold, at least that's what we thought. So simple." I felt Bella take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I swallowed again, ignored the burn, and held her tightly.

"When the high fever started I knew something was wrong. My mother could be very… child-like at times, and this was one of them. When she was sick I always took care of her, and yeah, she liked to complain. But this time, it was different." Bella paused, and I felt the moisture on my shirt from her tears. I didn't know what more to do than just hold her quietly, but I definitely knew what her pain was like. Her eyes mirrored my own.

"I was heading to bed, and decided to check on her, make sure she had what she needed. When Renee caught a cold she acted like she was helpless, I knew the routine." I was surprised to hear her refer to her mother by her first name, but she'd already done the same with her father. I wondered what kind of parents they were if she didn't think of them as mom and dad.

"When I walked into her room, I thought she was asleep until I saw her face. Her skin was white, but her cheeks were flushed. When I got closer she turned to me, and I could see her eyes watering, glazed, but she wasn't crying. The heat coming from her," Bella shivered, "I'd never felt anything like it. I could actually smell her skin," she muttered, pushing closer to my side. I gave her shoulder a squeeze, letting her know I was still with her, still listening.

"I ran into the bathroom and got the thermometer. Edward, her temperature was 104, and I panicked." I could feel her trembling. "I threw on clothes, and told her I was taking her to the ER. She tried to fight me, but eventually I got her up, got a light robe and slippers on her, and managed to get her in the car." She paused for a long time. "She could barely walk. If I could have managed to carry her…" I heard her voice breaking, and rocked her softly.

"If you feel it's too much I understand…"

She shook her head. "No, it's okay. Just give me a moment." She took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "I drove up to the ER and parked the car by the ambulance entrance, and ran in. A nurse came back out with me, and took a look at her and yelled for someone to bring a gurney." I could see it in my mind, smell the antiseptic scents of the hospital. I felt my stomach muscles clench, it sounded too familiar.

"Renee, I mean my mother, came out of her fog for a moment when she heard the shouting, and started to fight them, screaming she wanted to go home. Then she turned to me and hugged me so hard it hurt. I… I told her she'd be okay, and was hugging her just as tightly when the nurse came behind me and pulled me off her. I turned to yell at the woman, but stopped when I saw the nurse had put on a mask and gloves. It was the mask, it was my first clue something was seriously wrong."

"It was the last time I touched my mother," Bella whispered.

I was going to tell her to stop, she didn't need to tell me more, but she cleared her throat and continued. "They took both of us down this hall, and brought us to a large room that was partitioned into two smaller ones, a glass window in the partition between them. They put my mother in the far room, and locked the door. Then they told me to sit on the bed in the other room and brought in a hospital gown and asked me to strip. I tried to tell them I wasn't sick but they didn't want to hear it. I saw a group of doctors and nurses around Renee, and I had my own crowd of medical personnel. While they were examining me they kept asking me questions: where we'd been, who we'd seen over the last few weeks. Everyone was wearing gloves and masks, and I was scared shitless."

"They finally believed I wasn't sick, and so the anti-virals were started. Stuff shoved up and shot up my nose, blood drawn twice a day. They kept me in the hospital with her, and all they'd tell me was she had the flu, and wanted to make sure I didn't get it, too."

"They just held you there, even though you weren't sick?"

She nodded her head. "Yeah. They called Charlie and told him what was going on, and he flew down, but they wouldn't let him in to see me, or Renee. All they'd let me do was talk to him on the phone. Renee and I were quarantined" Bella started crying now, holding me tightly – shaking with anguished sobs that I could feel rattling my bones, and there was nothing I could do but hold onto her and let her know I was there, and that I cared.

Her sobs slowed down to sniffles. "We were there for two weeks before she died. I wasn't allowed to do anything but look at her through that glass window, and she died before I could touch her again, before I could talk to her, before I could tell her I loved her."

I brought my other arm around her and held her to me, rocking softly, not saying anything. The woods were quiet, as if the birds had listened to her story and mourned her loss. If I was religious I'd think we were in a green cathedral, still and serene, God waiting for our prayers, to give us comfort.

But I was not a religious man.

It was getting late, and the air was getting cool, and Bella started to shiver. I didn't know if it was from her emotions or the cold, but it was time for us to head back.

I loosened my arms a bit and she raised her head, bloodshot eyes gazing right into mine, and I wiped her tear-streaked cheeks with my thumbs. "Let's head back before it gets colder, okay?" She nodded and stood with me, this time taking my hand when I held it out for her and kept it, fingers laced tightly with her own. It was a quiet walk back to my car, hand in hand as we were both lost in our thoughts.

It wasn't until much later that I realized it was Bella's tears that was the perfect cure for an out-of-control dick.

That evening, after Bella and I agreed we'd get together over the upcoming weekend, after I managed to eat a couple of bites of Esme's delicious dinner without puking it back up, after cleaning my already clean room, I turned on music and flopped on my bed, rubbed my chin and thought about… well, Bella. What she went through was horrific, at least as bad as the shit I went through. But she still had her father, right? I mean, I knew it wasn't a competition, but she still had a parent, and I had none.

I ran my hand over my face – I was being a moron. Pain was pain, and even _I_ knew there was no sense in comparing one to another, I was just being a selfish jerk again. Tomorrow, when I see her at school, I'll ask if she wants to start eating lunch with us. I could be an adult and try to help her through this, prove to myself that I knew, really knew, she was more than her body.

Then I thought about her long, silky hair. I thought about her soft, flawless skin, her brown eyes that had a multitude of colors buried within them. I thought about her slim but ripe body. I thought about how my 'cure' was obviously temporary.

Time to take a shower. I needed one anyway.

Thirty minutes and two orgasms later, I was wiping steam off the bathroom mirror and thinking, again, about how I didn't need to shave. This one had me worried, and I'd be asking Carlisle to run tests if it wasn't for the simple fact I was sporting wood 99% of the time. If it wasn't for the brief moment this afternoon while Bella cried, I'd make that 100%. Obviously, my problem wasn't testosterone. I shrugged and walked out of the bathroom, towel around my waist, and slipped on clean boxers and a t-shirt. Looking down I smirked. At least I still had my chest hair. I chuckled to myself - I didn't have that much, but at least I didn't have any less.

And now that I was done distracting myself, I had a choice of three activities. I could grab a book and read until I fell asleep, I could grab some tissues and continue to number three from the comfort of my bed, or I could screw up my courage and look at that fucking journal.

Because, ultimately, it was no more than a book. And if the unlikely was true, and it was more, I needed to know that, too. I had to stop acting like a pansy, acting like the fucking thing could actually hurt me. So, I took a deep breath, walked over to my desk, sat in my chair and stared at the damned thing.

That was a good start. I opened my desk drawer and pulled out dad's fountain pen. That was a good second step. Next, I took another deep breath, reached over, flipped the cover open with the tip of my index finger and leaned back in my chair, giving myself some distance from it.

It didn't bite. Those words were still there, but they weren't biting me. _Okay Masen, time to man up._

I took my pen and leaned forward, muscles tense, ready to run quickly if necessary. My sketch of Bella was still there, pristine as ever. My name at the top, with the word 'Cullen' added at the end. And yeah, the line at the bottom was there – the question asking me who I was, and how I knew her.

I'd start there.

Sighing, I hesitated, trying to figure out what I'd write. This book was meant to be my journal, to be filled with thoughts, or poetry, or whatever. If I chose to do this I knew that in some way I'd be marring that purpose, but I didn't see how I had any choice. So taking the fountain pen I wrote...

_**Are you a ghost?**_

And I waited, hoping the last time was truly my imagination, or a hallucination, or something. I didn't have to wait long.

**No, I'm not a spirit. Are you?**

_Fuck._ I really hoped this wasn't going to happen, but I stayed calm and controlled my breathing so I didn't wind up visiting the floor again. And just like the last time, the words rose up and onto the paper, as if they were floating up from the depths of the ocean. The handwriting was fluid, elegant.

And I didn't believe a fucking bit of this. Someone's fucking with my head, and I swear, there's a technological answer to this. Tomorrow I'll ask Carlisle if I can borrow that stupid metal detector Esme bought him for his last birthday. I'll tell him I lost something in the back yard – a ring or something. And I'll run it over this damned book. I bet there's something in it, some kind of dime store contraption and the journal was really a gag gift.

I could always tear it apart and look, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. What if it was real? What if it was... supernatural or something? I'm sure it wasn't but... well...

But for now, time to continue the game.

_**I'm not a spirit or whatever you want to call it. So tell me, if you're not a ghost, what are you?**_

And I sat back, waiting to see what kind of clever answer the Magic Eightball journal gave me.

Again, I didn't have to wait long.

**Not that it's any of your concern, but I'm a vampire.**

I heard something that sounded like the screech of protesting metal, and looked down at the hand holding dad's fountain pen. I had just managed to crush the stainless steel barrel of the pen. With my fingers.

'********'

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_**EAMC POV**_

_That was foolish! _Why did I reveal I was a vampire? I knew I wasn't being fully rational, I should be far more concerned with the fact I'm having a conversation with a book. But putting what I did in writing, communicating it to… something, was potentially waving a red flag in front of the Volturi. Bella's knowledge was enough to consider right now.

Bella… I pinched the bridge of my nose when I thought about the mess we were in. Shortly after she mentioned my facial hair, and after I managed to mask my shock, I walked her home. It was during this walk that she told me the details of the death of her mother. It was a traumatic event for a young teenage girl, and I held her hand and wiped her tears as she told her tale. I was amazed by the strength of this young woman, and vowed I'd do what I could to try to keep more pain from entering her life, and to bring smiles to her face.

When we returned to her house we sat on the porch steps, side by side, my arm around her shoulders while she leaned into me. I drew her as close to my side as I safely could, dipping my nose into her hair and relishing her sweet scent.

"You're a remarkable woman, Bella," I whispered into her hair, feeling a thrill as I felt her push herself closer into my side. "I find myself growing quite attached to you." That wasn't too forward, I didn't think. Of course, with my behavior of late, I was already too forward.

"You're not so bad yourself, Edward," she sighed, reaching up and giving me a soft kiss on my chin. "For someone I just met, I feel as if I've known you forever."

I was amazed, and thankful for the possibility she might feel it too. Perhaps if we can get past the physical issues, and my strength, we might be able to make this work. At that moment, I didn't want to think about what she'd seen, what she might suspect, and how I was going to handle it. I just wanted to sit with her, to imagine she was my girlfriend, that I was her boyfriend, that we really were two teenagers sitting on the porch steps just like any others, relaxing in the evening air, minds filled with courting.

We parted with a sweet kiss and promise we'd see each other at school tomorrow, and that she'd join my family at our lunchroom table. I adored this woman, everything about her reinforcing my overpowering feelings for her.

But later on I felt like a caged animal, pacing my room, running my fingers through my hair. What choice did I have? I could leave Forks, convince the family to leave with me, and never see her again. I winced at the pain just that thought invoked, remembering she's my mate. Leaving her was just not possible. My only other choice was to tell her the truth before she started asking around about the Cullens. The teenagers at the High School would be clueless, but if she asked someone from the reservation…

Pacing, growing more agitated, my eyes fell on the open journal. There was no response to my last note, and decided to end this part of my madness for the evening. Locking it securely in the chest I sat on the floor, burying my face in my hands. I had no idea who or what I was conversing with, but I needed to get some answers – and that meant talking to Carlisle. I didn't have to tell him about the book itself, but I needed to know if he'd heard of the possibility of the reality of spirits, or perhaps a vampire with an heretofore unknown ability. Could there be a vampire out there who had seen Bella, and is playing games with my mind, capable of remote writing? The chance of danger to Bella… I would not allow it.

Setting this aside for later, I remembered the other task related to these recent mysteries. Emerging from my closet I grabbed the large bag of purchases made on my way home from Isabella's house. Stepping quietly into my bathroom, I shut and locked the door securely.

I upended the bag on the counter, and out came a variety of shaving implements. Single blade razors, double blade, triple blade – even one that had 5 blades. What I really wanted was a straight razor and strop, but it looked like that would have to be an online purchase, and I had no time.

I ran my hand over my chin again. This was beyond comprehension, but a part of me reveled in it. Granted, I should not be growing hair of any sort but if for some bizarre reason I was no longer bound by this physiological rule of vampires, the possibility of changing my appearance, of _aging_ my appearance, was delightful. A close examination showed stubble that went far beyond what I managed to grow when I was still a human teenager. A full beard was possible, as was a mustache. Now _that_ was tempting. A mustache decorating my face. A century of fashions involving men's whiskers flooded my thoughts, from thin and heavily waxed and curled handlebar mustaches up to the current style of a thick brush under my nose. I wondered what it would be like to hunt, to drink, with a mustache…

Enough daydreams. It had to come off, all of it. I wasn't yet ready to start asking questions about it, or answering them. A quick shower and a close shave with that enticing 5 bladed razor should do the trick.

Or maybe not so quick a shower. I stripped and stared down at myself. An afternoon spent with Bella had left her scent all over my skin, and my newest problem was actually starting to cause discomfort even if it wasn't restricted by clothing. Turning the shower on and making it as hot as possible, I stepped in and grabbed the soap. If I could manage to keep quiet, maybe it was time to take Emmett and Jasper's advice. Perhaps doing this once would relieve the pressure and the embarrassment that came from this seemingly permanent arousal. Soaping up my hand, I closed my eyes and tentatively touched my… member. _Ohhhhh,_ I had never felt anything like this. I moved my hand up and down, slowly, relishing the overwhelmingly delicious sensation. The heat of the water took the remnants of Bella's sent and turned them into steam that swirled around me, as if she was here, as if it was her hand and not my own stroking me to ecstasy, as if I could reach out and taste her soft lips, feel the curve of her breas….

"_Oh dear lord," _I gasped._ That was heavenly!_ Leaning against the shower wall, breathing heavily and grinning with both euphoria and embarrassment, I sighed in contentment. _Now_ I know why men relish the feeling of orgasmic relief - it was astonishingly good. However, I don't think 6 ½ seconds is supposed to be the norm. I'd have to work on that. I glanced down and groaned, and went to my closet to get a pair of jeans and a long shirt suitable to wear on the outside, thereby masking the evidence. Based on my apparent recovery time, I didn't think practice would be a problem. I could only hope permanent relief would come. Eventually.

The shaving was… interesting, but I managed it with less trouble than I'd anticipated. At least I couldn't bleed. I had avoided using any type of shaving soap lest my family smell it on me, but the bathing soap seemed to have worked well enough.

I was just heading outside for a quick hunt, Bella once again on my mind when _what the…_

I was sprawled on the lawn, face down, felled by a blow to the back of my head. Carefully lifting my head, I saw Emmett standing behind me, absolutely stunned that he'd manage to hit me.

"Emmett, what the hell?"

"Edward, uh. I mean, damn. As much as it gives me joy to finally make contact, you were supposed to dodge me…"

It was a joke between us all – never before had any of my family been able to get the drop on me, their thoughts always preceded their actions. Emmett and I stared at each other, both shocked. I never heard him, and I wasn't certain I could blame my preoccupation with Bella on that. I concentrated, and yes, his thoughts were there, but without concentration, without focusing specifically on hearing his thoughts… there was nothing.

But what was far more disturbing was a sensation I had forgotten, that I hadn't felt in decades. My head, where he had hit me, throbbed in pain.

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**A/N**

Welcome back once again.

Come play on the Twilighted thread under Alternate Universe. I have Douglas tied in a corner, and he's loving it.

And thank you all for reading, and for reviewing, and a special thank you to Isakassees for listening to me this week, and rec'ing this story so I'm now scared to post (mwah,) and to Booksgalore/Bookishqua for the generous loan of Douglas. Well, it's no longer a loan. The ransom note is in the mail.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my plot...**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

**Btw, my beta is STILL on vacation. Thus far I haven't splattered on the ground. Not yet anyway.**

_**Warning: This story is rated M for a reason, and that reason isn't just lemons. There is some violence in this chapter, and in some of the upcoming chapters.**_

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**Chapter 8**

_**EAM POV**_

The sounds in the cafeteria were an echoing cacophony of banging dishes and trays, chairs scraping across the linoleum floor, shoes shuffling, sneakers squeaking, bursts of laughter, and the constant mumble of voices. But what I heard went beyond that. Sudden bursts of words, as if shouted right next to my ear, kept me jumping and distracted as I did my best to ignore them. Unfortunately, it seemed to be Newton's voice I heard more often than not.

_I don't believe it; she's sitting at that freak's table. Fucking Masen._

I looked over, ready to get up and pound him for his words. But again, just like so many times in the past few days, Newton wasn't even looking at me. This time he was looking down, his mouth filled with food. There was no way he could have said that. I closed my eyes and turned away. Too much, too many things, and if I didn't figure out a way to handle the way the reality of my world was falling to pieces around me, I'd fall along with it.

Bella caught my eye, and grinned. Just the thought of her calmed me as I grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed it gently. Her soft smile and tender caress of my hand in return was what grounded me. _One thing at a time._

"Why aren't you eating?" she asked, squeezing my hand again.

I pushed the tray of pizza towards her. "You eat it, Bella, I… I had a big breakfast and I'm just not very…"

"Bullshit," Alice mumbled, but didn't dare to say more. Her own food was going uneaten, and she looked no better than I did. Both of us were pale as ghosts, and the circles under my eyes were as dark as hers. Jasper peered over at me and raised his eyebrows, and I could only shrug.

"Man, neither of you look good," Jasper said quietly, and I couldn't argue with him, we looked like shit. The mild surprise on Bella's face when I introduced her to my foster siblings said it all. Alice and I were both so pale we were starting to look like blood relatives. But Bella stayed quiet, held my hand, smiled shyly at Jasper, laughed at Emmett's silly jokes, and simply made me feel good.

I was about to respond to Jasper, make some excuse about my appearance, when the warning bell rang. Saved by the…well, yeah. I grabbed the lunch trays and headed towards the trash cans.

"Wait, Bella," Alice called. Bella turned back to the table, and I returned to her side. Alice was rubbing her forehead — for a change — a far-away look on her face. I jumped when Alice's eyes suddenly came into sharp focus and locked onto Bella, a huge smile on her's face.

"It was wonderful meeting you, Bella. We're going to be great friends, I just know it."

Bella raised an eyebrow and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. "Uh, sure," she muttered. We just have to head to class now." She walked backwards, towards the door, then turned around and grabbed my hand and sped up.

"Is your sister okay?"

I wasn't sure what the hell to say, because neither Alice nor myself were okay. But I didn't want Bella to know that.

"Yeah, she's just weird. Good thing she's not my real sister, huh?" Bella giggled and nodded her head. She turned to me, looking like she wanted to say something, and stopped, a puzzled expression on her face.

"Did you get contacts?"

_What?_ "Uh, no. Of course not. Why do you think…"

"Because your eyes look a little different," she interrupted. She leaned in closer. "There are little gold flecks. I just never noticed them before. And it's really pretty." She smiled, reaching up on her toes to give me a quick kiss on the lips, and led me towards our classroom. Books held in front of me, goofy grin on my face, I followed. _Did she just say something about my eyes? _I looked down at the luscious curves of her ass swinging in front of me._ Whatever._

We were the last to enter the classroom, and everyone was whispering about some sort of news we had missed. I was about to ask what was going on when Banner wheeled a TV and VCR into the classroom.

Bella and I settled onto our lab stools, Banner cut the lights, and started whatever movie he was using instead of making the effort to teach.

And suddenly I didn't care what the film was, or why Banner was being a lazy slob, because as the lights went out I could feel a hum, not hear it but feel it. Bella turned to me, startled, her eyes wider than I'd ever seen them.

She leaned over and whispered, "Do you feel that?" I nodded, grabbing her hand under the desk.

"I don't know what it is. It's not hurting you, is it?"

She shook her head 'no,' and dropping her feet to the floor, scooted her stool closer to mine, leaning into me as soon as she was settled. I took a deep breath when I felt her body against mine, my throat was blazing but I didn't give a shit. We were at the back of the classroom, and I suddenly realized I could wrap my arm around her waist and no one could see. Slowly, I brought my arm around and settled my hand above her hip just as she moved her hand and placed it on my thigh.

It was like a flash of fire, lust burning through my body as my mind was assaulted with fantasy images of her naked body, stroked by hands that looked like mine yet weren't mine, replaced by my own and then replaced by anothers as tastes and scents of her arousal filled my head. I reached down with one hand to try to adjust the painful throbbing in my jeans while my other hand slid up Bella's waist, up her ribs, feeling the slim muscles under my hand covering her ribs, upward to the promised land of her luscious breasts and I stopped. I was panting, trying to remain quiet when I felt her hand slide up my thigh.

I moaned and lowered my head to my desk, reaching to stop her. I peered at Bella, and could see her chest rising and falling as she was breathing as rapidly as I was, her eyes closed and her gorgeous lips set in a soft smile, her face looking like the embodiment of carnal pleasure.

_Oh fucking shit, we had to get under control._

"Bella," I whispered, moving my hand to her back and rubbing it softly. Her eyelids fluttered and she opened wide and dilated eyes, gazing into my own with more lust than I'd ever seen. _Fuck,_ I have never, ever, seen anything so sexy.

"Edward, where are we?" She looked at the TV, cleared her throat and sat up straight, her hand coming off my thigh like she was burned and grabbed my hand instead. I looked around us, but no one noticed. Without needing to speak a word, Bella made some space between us. Her breathing had slowed, and so had mine. I tried to focus on whatever was on the TV, because it wouldn't take much for me to go back to thinking about burying myself in her tight, wet...

Obviously.

The bell rang and I jumped off my stool, literally limping out of the classroom, hard as nails, Bella beside me with a permanent blush on her face. We turned a corner to a quiet corridor, and fell into each others arms.

She sighed into my chest, making everything just a little bit worse. "What happened back there, Edward?"

"I don't have a damned clue," I whispered into her ear, willing my body to calm down and not start all of this again. Easier said than done, I could feel the hum between us start again.

She pulled back and looked up at me, her eyes still wide, her cheeks still flushed. "I'm going to run to gym, I think we need a little time apart."

I nodded and gave her a quick kiss before pulling away. "I'll phone you tonight, okay? And, maybe we can get together this weekend?"

"A date?" she asked, giving me a coy smile.

I nodded. "Absolutely."

She reached up and gave me another peck on the lips. "And my answer is, absolutely." She smiled. "Speak to you later."

'*'

_Oh shit, what is that?_

I could smell it as soon as I walked in the door, and my stomach started to growl like I hadn't eaten for days, which I hadn't. Fucking all right, what the hell is Esme cooking for dinner? Finally, something that didn't make me nauseous! I jogged towards the back of the house, to the kitchen, hoping it might be ready now.

"Esme, what are you making for..." I stopped when I saw her step out of the kitchen, phone to her ear and her finger held to her lips. She smiled when I nodded and shrugged in apology, and headed towards the living room, laughing and talking to... whomever. I didn't care about that; I cared about whatever the hell she was cooking for dinner.

But if I ate some of it before dinner she wouldn't be happy with me, so stealth was required.

Making sure she couldn't see me I tip toed into the kitchen. Damn, that smelled too good. I looked around - the oven wasn't on, and there were no pots on the stove. The only thing was... yes, that was it. A roast, she was cooking a roast for dinner and... She hadn't started cooking it yet? The smell was overwhelming, if I thought I was drooling a lot before it was nothing compared to now. I walked over to the uncooked piece of meat and stared at it. Why the hell did it smell so good?

Then I saw it, right under the roast. It was the source of the delicious scent. My stomach grumbled louder, my throat flared in pain and the saliva was drowning me as I stepped over to the counter. I reached a tentative finger towards the roast and dipped the end into the pooled liquid in the Styrofoam tray the roast sat in. Looking at the liquid on the end of my finger I raised it to my mouth and sucked it off.

_Heaven._ The burn went away - gone, no trace. I closed my eyes and smiled. Finally, something that would ease this suffering. _More, I needed more._ Opening my eyes I raised my hand again...

And froze. _What the fuck was I doing? That was raw meat! That was blood from the meat!_

Gagging, holding my hand over my mouth as my stomach lurched I turned and ran through the house and out the front door. I had to get away, get away from there and figure out what the fuck was wrong with me. I slammed the car door, ground gears and flew down the driveway, gravel spraying everywhere when I skidded into a turn onto the 101. Hitting the gas again I burned rubber as I sped down the highway. I had to move, keep moving, run away from this, run away from myself. What the hell was wrong with me? I was a monster; I was turning into some kind of freak. Newton's words echoed in my head and yeah, he was right. Masen was a freak and I was no good for anyone and I should have died with my parents and...

I rounded a turn at 95 miles an hour and a fucking rabbit was in the middle of the road, frozen, eyes locked with mine as I stood on the brakes and held on for dear life, sliding down the road, out of control, when I felt the thump and saw the rabbit airborne, flying onto the shoulder.

_No, no...oh shit I didn't just kill that rabbit._

I swerved off the road and ran back, praying it wasn't dead. All I could see was a hunk of pulsating fur when I reached it and fell to my knees before it. My skin stung from the sharp gravel piercing through my jeans, my senses were assaulted by the smell of dozens of cigarette butts scattered on the ground all around me, but all I could see was the rabbit, a pool of blood underneath it as it lay there dying, killed by me, killed by my car.

I lost it, screaming at the sky and then... nothing. I couldn't see, but I could hear. I could hear growling, and the wet sound of something being ripped. I could feel, I could feel the burn in my throat soothing, the grumble of my stomach fading, the saliva stop pooling.

And I opened my eyes, and for the first time in days I felt normal, healthy, ready to take on the world and cured of whatever had been wrong with me. Smiling I looked around, reveling in the beauty of the forest surrounding the road, the cool scent of the wet green leaves, the majestic trees towering over me. I took a deep breath and lowered my hands to push myself off the ground, dropping my eyes as my palms flattened themselves on the road.

I stopped breathing and fell back on my ass, lifting my hands to my face. I could hear the throbbing of my heart as its beat rose to a crescendo, my breathing erratic, my muscles locking, my gorge rising.

Blood. There was blood caked all over my hands. And below me... the dead rabbit was in tattered pieces, without a drop of blood left on the ground.

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

As I approached the cafeteria, looking forward to seeing Isabella and somewhat nervous about introducing her to my family, I stopped and raised my nose into the air. Human food always permeated this room, sometimes easy to ignore and sometimes noxious. But it never smelled... delicious? I had a sudden flash of memory, of apple crisp baking in my mother's kitchen, of the heady anticipation of waiting for that night's treat after dinner.

Food, human food, and it smelled absolutely wonderful. If this was part of my growing insanity, I could live with it. I could also live with this newly found requirement to actually need to focus, to give it full concentration, in order to hear the thoughts of others. It was absolutely delightful.

"Edward! Come sit, we've already corralled Bella."

Alice was sitting at our usual table, Jasper at her side along with Rosalie and Emmett. Bella was sitting next to Alice, looking somewhat uncomfortable until she saw me. Then her eyes brightened and her smile shone and it was all I could do not to run to her side.

Alice was trembling with excitement. "I was just telling Bella how I was certain we were going to be close friends, isn't that right, Bella?"

Bella shot me a look that I didn't need to be a mind reader to understand. I bent down and whispered into her ear, using it as an excuse to take a deep breath of her luscious fragrance. "We can always find another table."

"I heard that," Alice said, pouting at me.

"Then stop being your usual overwhelming self," I shot back, wrapping my arm around Bella's shoulders as I sat down.

Bella was trying not to giggle as she ate her pizza. Humming as she ate, she was obviously enjoying it, oblivious to my stares. It was fascinating how thoroughly arousing it was to watch her eat, to wrap her lips around each piece, to watch her slowly chew and then see the muscles of her neck undulate as she swallowed. I leaned towards her, wanting to feel her skin under my lips as she swallowed.

Bella saw my movement and leaned to meet me, giving me a soft kiss that must have tasted of tomato sauce and cheese. I tried to discreetly adjust my jeans. Again.

Rosalie ignored us, although Emmett, to his credit, tried to make Isabella feel welcome. Rosalie's attitude didn't surprise me, she both resented and feared this human girl, and honestly, I could understand why. She posed a threat to the family, and although I knew she wouldn't tell anyone – she'd said nothing as yet – I couldn't expect Rosalie to be as certain as I.

Thoughts about Rosalie and her fears brought my mind back to the decision I had made last evening. I wanted to take Isabella to my meadow. It was a place of quiet and solitude where we could talk and... perhaps do more than talk if I could figure out a way to control my strength. But I had decided I would tell her the truth about myself before we go. To do otherwise would be, in effect, lying to her. At this juncture I felt she was perfectly safe from any bloodlust I might feel towards her, although I wouldn't vouch for other types of lust. But regardless, she needed to know she'd be spending isolated time with a vampire, and decide herself if it was worth the risk. I was not going to decide this for her.

'*'

Two hours later we were in the Volvo, parked in a secluded turn-off on the 101. The spot was lovely, heavy brush and ancient trees fencing us in. Off in the distance I could hear the musical call of a variety of birds, smell the damp rot and fungus of the living forest. I was surrounded by the attractions of the varieties of life, but none of it held a candle to the young woman sitting next to me.

Both of us were quiet as we drove here, lost in our own thoughts. A film of some sort was shown in Biology today, but I could not have related what it was – nor, I believe, could Bella. As soon as the lights were turned off some kind of connection established itself between us. Was it related to being mated? Quite possibly. And if the two of us hadn't managed to finally get ourselves under control, we'd have been entertaining the students by mating right there, in front of them. It was the most extraordinary sensation I'd ever felt, in all my long years. And with Isabella's cooperation, I'd love to find a way of exploring it when we had more privacy.

I throbbed simply at the thought. I needed some total privacy soon – but it was imperative I do this first.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" She turned to me, beautiful brown eyes full of questions.

I took a deep breath. "I need to discuss with you what happened that day with the van, and a few other things about myself."

"No lies or half-truths?"

I shook my head. "Absolute truth as long as you understand there must be absolute secrecy. If what I am is revealed to anyone else, there are consequences not only for me, but for you as well. You need to understand that before I continue."

Bella nodded and reached over for my hand. "I had assumed whatever it was should be kept quiet. I haven't told anyone about the van."

I had realized this much, but it was still a relief to hear the confirmation.

"But you also need to keep quiet about the rest, regardless of how tempting it is." I squeezed her hand gently. Do you understand, fully understand?"

Bella nodded and smiled. "Talk, Cullen."

How to approach this? Skirt around the edges and approach the center last?

"I'm very fast, as I'm sure you've noticed." That was a good place to start.

Isabella raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I've noticed, go on, please."

"And... my skin is cool. It tends to reflect the the ambient temperature of the air.

"Cold blooded?" I nodded, deciding it wasn't quite a lie not to mention there was no blood to be cold.

"I... I can hear thoughts, read minds." Her eyes grew wide and I saw the first trace of fear. How odd this should be the one thing that frightened her. Then I realized why.

"But not your mind. For some reason, your thoughts are the only ones closed to me."

She tilted her head, appearing puzzled. "I wonder why that is, why I'm different?"

"Bella, it's the least of the issues, wouldn't you say?"

She giggled and lowered her head. "You're not human, are you?"

I took a really deep breath and shook my head. "No, not anymore." It was a truthful answer, and it also hinted of the real truth. I needed to continue before I lost my momentum.

"I'm very strong, and it's nearly impossible to damage me." I turned to her and was shocked by her expression. Her eyes were dilated, her heartbeat and respiration increasing dramatically.

"Are you okay?" She was starting to alarm me just as I felt the same hum again, the electricity, like being inside a Tesla Coil – sparks of lightning shooting out and between us. Bella moaned and faster than I thought possible, she crawled across the center console and settled herself on my lap, straddled between my chest and the steering wheel.

"I'm fine, Edward," she breathed at me. "More than fine, and again, I'd like to thank you for saving my life. But for right now..." She tilted her head and leaned down, brushing her lips against mine. Full and pouty, hot and soft, they molded against mine. And I had to do the only thing a gentleman trapped in this situation _could _do. I gently wrapped my arms around her, and returned her kiss.

Isabella groaned into my mouth and slid up on my lap, her burning-hot center pushing against my erection that was now throbbing with pain, screaming for release. I couldn't help it, I growled into her mouth and slid my hands down to her finely-shaped buttocks and pushed her against me, rubbing myself against her. _Oh lord yes, this was what I needed._ Bella whimpered and rotated her hips, moaning at the contact. _Yes, more, lovely Isabella, I need more._

I slid my hands up to her waist, slipping them under her shirt and up across the naked skin of her back. Ah it was silk, silk over spun glass I reminded myself, as I let my fingers dance across her, feeling her warmth, pressing her against my chest so I could feel her hard nipples.

"Yes, Edward, just like, oh..."

I growled again and leaning back slid my hands to the front, under her shirt and over her brassiere and yes, almost to the promised land. The heat from her body, her moans as she ground herself against me while arching her back, pressing her soft breasts into my hands... I growled again as I attacked her neck with my lips, with my tongue. I was spiraling out of control, my erection begging for release, the throb like a heartbeat, pushing me closer, and closer...

I opened my eyes and leaned back, and all I could see was Bella's chest in front of me, her breasts heaving with each breath, her hard nipples pressing through the fabric, rising and falling in front of my eyes. Oh lord this was killing me. I leaned forward, just for a moment, and gave her a soft kiss on her sternum, right between her clothed breasts, then placed a soft kiss on the tip of each lovely nipple. "We need to slow down, love, or I'll take you right here."

"Please," Bella whispered, rotating her hips again. I placed my hands on the curve of her hips and stopped her.

"Not here, you deserve better, love," I groaned, desperately trying to catch my breath, to control my need to make her mine, to bury myself in her. "And you need to hear the rest before anything else."

She slumped, and placed her head onto my shoulder, her hands wrapped around my neck. "Talk to me, Edward. What more is there?"

Sliding my hands up and down her back, I found myself wondering if this would be the last time she'd allow me to touch her, be this close to her, talk to her...

But I had to say it. She had to know.

"Isabella... Bella... I have all these attributes because I'm not human. I'm a vampire." I closed my eyes and waited for her reaction.

She started shaking, the vibrations of her body rattling against my own. Was she trembling in fear? "Bella, I'm sorry. Don't be afraid, please? I'll take you home right now," I rambled, my worst fears realized, I had to respect her wishes and for the life of me I had no idea how I'd live with it. The shaking only grew worse.

"Bella," I repeated, gently taking her by the waist so I could move her back, so I could see her eyes. "Please, I won't hurt..."

I was staring into two eyes filled with glee, and she was shaking because she was... _she was laughing?_ "Bella, this is no laughing..."

"Oh Edward," she interrupted, the laughter dancing past her lips. "Oh fuck Edward, that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard," she laughed. "I mean, I assume that was a joke and you're really an alien or something, right?" Her body kept shaking as she tried to contain her mirth, and all I could do was stare at her wide-eyed as I tried to figure out a way to make sure she understood this wasn't a joke.

Little by little her laughter slowed, the smile on her face breath-taking. The last thing I wanted to do was anything that might take the beauty of this smile from her face, but I had to make her see the truth. Taking a deep breath I began...

"Edward?" she interrupted, gazing into my eyes, her head tilted.

"Yes, love?"

"Are you wearing contacts? I never noticed your eyes had flecks of green in them. It's really quite beautiful."

* * *

**A/N**

Yo!

Thank you all for reading, and for reviewing. And for those of you who are concerned, I've liberated Douglas from Books, the slavemaster, and have offered payment to secure his freedom. Henrietta is currently staying with him under the terms of a conjugal visit. They're at a local Motel 8.

Oh, she is so going to hit me :-) Or at the very least, set loose the skunks.

If this makes no sense to you at all, don't worry. It barely makes any sense to me, too.

Come play on the Twilighted thread under Alternate Universe.

And again, thank you! Drop a review if you like, and tell me if I'm managing to keep you from confusion :-)


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my plot, my universes. *rubbing hands in glee***

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

_**Warning: This story is rated M for a reason, and that reason isn't just lemons. There is some violence in this chapter, too, and in some of the upcoming chapters.**_

**Chapter 9**

_**EAM POV**_

_**Who the hell are you, and what do you mean when you say you're a vampire?**_

I dropped the pen on my desk and pushed my chair back. My handwriting was a sloppy mess, the words looked shaky, and I had to resort to using a cheap ball point pen - but I didn't care. I wanted some answers, and I wanted them _now. _We'll see if I get a response.

Letting out an explosive burst of air I got up and stomped around my room, walking in circles, hands running through my hair, ignoring my belly full of bunny blood. This fucking book, everything circled back to the day I bought the damned thing. I was slowly going insane and this book was the only connection. It _had_ to be it.

Flashes of the afternoon assaulted me. The roast, the road, the rabbit, the mouth-watering taste of the blood... and at the start of it all - there it was, on my desk, some kind of mysterious book claiming to be a vampire and that was just too fucking close to what was happening to me. Somehow I was being influenced… by something, and I was going to get some fucking answers to my questions before I took this damned thing and burned it.

Earlier today, when awareness flooded back to me, crouched on the side of the road… after seeing the husk of that rabbit and the blood all over my hands, I ran through the woods until I stumbled across a small creek and managed to wash the worst of the blood off. I didn't think, I _couldn't_ think about it, not with my clothes soaked through with dirty creek water and the remnants of rabbit blood, the smell assaulting me. I raced home after sending a quick text to Alice.

I locked myself in my room, wet and bloody clothes hidden in a bag and buried deep under my bed after a long and scalding shower. Thank god I was able to get past Esme when I sneaked into the house.

"Edward?" I could feel my blood pressure soar at the sound of a light knock at my door.

"Alice?" I whispered. The door opened slowly, creaking on its hinges.

"What's so damned urgent? I have a ton of homework to get started…" She slowed down when she saw the look on my face. "Edward, what's wrong?"

I puffed out a lungful of air. "Come in, and shut the door, okay?" She raised her eyebrows but did as I asked, trotting over and sitting on my bed.

"This is important, Alice, so no diversions and bullshit, okay?" She nodded and pulled her legs up, making herself comfortable.

"How sick have you been?" I asked. "I mean, specifically, what kind of symptoms have you had?"

"Why?"

"Just don't argue for a change, okay? This is serious."

She dropped onto her back and sighed. "The headaches are constant, and just the idea of eating - the smell, makes me nauseous. And the dreams… I have dreams every night, always about people I know, places I know. Sometimes," her voice dropped to a whisper, "I have vivid dreams of things that wind up happening."

"Like what?"

"Well, the accident with Bella and the van was one. Others have been less serious, like a conversation with Jasper in a dream that suddenly took place in real life. It's been like living déjà vu all the time."

I sat down at my desk and dropped my head in my hand. Some of it sounded familiar, like the food and the nausea, some of it was different.

"Any buzzing in your head, like words? Voices?"

She shook her head. "No, nothing like that. Why are you asking, Edward?"

I had to tell her. I had to tell _someone! _I picked up the journal from my desk and opened it, holding it out to her. She sat up and started to reach for it, and I snatched it away before she could touch it.

"Don't, Alice. Don't touch it, just look."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but I think touching it, or not touching it, is important." Alice leaned forward, and looked at what was written, the 'conversation' of sorts.

"What the hell?"

"Yeah, I know.

"Vampire?"

I shrugged. "I didn't write it. It… appeared while I was looking at it."

Her eyes grew wide. "This is so damned cool, Edward!"

"Is it?" This wasn't a game, she needed to see the reality of what was going on. "All this shit started when I bought this book, Alice. You've been sick, I've been sick. You're having dreams of things that sometimes really happen, I've been…" I put my head in my hands again. "And I…I've been having strange compulsions."

"What kind?" she whispered.

I raised my head and looked her in the eye. "I've been finding blood to be rather attractive."

Alice's eyes grew wide and her already-pale face grew even paler. "How… what did you do about it? Anything?"

I couldn't bear to repeat my afternoon. "Let's just say I've gone through some extraordinary means to taste it. I don't fully remember all the details, myself."

"That was why…"

"Huh?"

"Jazz got a paper cut yesterday, just a small one but…"

"Yeah, you don't have to say more, I think I understand."

Alice shuddered. "It was awful, but at the same time, I'd never smelled anything so good. _Ever_."

I knew precisely how she felt. "Have you noticed anything odd about anyone else in the house?"

Alice shook her head. "No, and since you and I are the only ones who touched it, maybe that…"

We both froze at the sound of my cell ringing.

"It's Bella," Alice whispered. "She wants to know about your date."

"How do you know?"

She grimaced, tapping her head. I turned to place the book back on the table and grab my phone when Alice's voice brought me to a stop.

"Edward, let it go to voice mail."

"Why, I mean…"

"Look." She was staring at the open book still in my hands, the pages facing her. I carefully turned it around, and gulped.

**I am Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, and I'll say no more until you identify who, and what, you are.**

I'd gotten an answer.

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

"Don't touch it!" I may have said that a bit too loud, but my shout served its purpose. Carlisle pulled his hand back as if burned. "I have no proof, but I do have a theory that physical contact is required for it to affect you."

"Where did you say you found this?" Carlisle tore his eyes from the leather-bound journal on the desk in front of him, his hands firmly in his lap to avoid temptation.

"The bookstore in Port Angeles, buried in the back on a table filled with odd items. Alice noticed it, but truthfully, it fascinated me immediately." I pointed to the cover. "The leather is very old, and rather distressed, but," opening it in the middle I pointed to the blank pages, "the interior paper is pristine."

Carlisle examined it, a frown on his face. "Let's set aside your physical symptoms for now. What is it about the book itself that's been alarming?"

I flipped to the first page, the one with the sketch, and my communication with… whatever it was. "I did not sketch Isabella, and I think it's safe to say no one else in this household has this level of talent." I pointed to what appeared to be a conversation. "And I am not the author of _all_ of these lines."

Carlisle read what was there, looking up at me with an arched eyebrow. "You revealed you were a vampire?"

I shrugged, somewhat embarrassed about the fit that led me to write something so potentially stupid. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Do you suppose I'm conversing with another vampire, that there's someone who has a talent akin to remote writing?"

Carlisle thought for a moment, but shook his head and looked back up at me. "No, I've heard of nothing like it, nor can I imagine how it might even work. It would also require a vampire who knew what Isabella looked like, knew your name… I can't see it."

I could feel my chest muscles tighten, the thought of Isabella in possible danger…

"Should we be guarding her?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"No," he replied, looking determined. "I truly don't think this is anyone's talent manifesting itself." He bent over and carefully, without touching, examined what was on the pages again.

"Tell me about the physical issues, would you?"

This was going to be both difficult and embarrassing, but I had enlisted his help voluntarily. I took a deep breath, and started to count them off.

"The first we've already discussed, and I assume is at least partially related to the fact Isabella is my mate – but not wholly explained by it. I have… a physical attraction towards her that is almost uncontrollable, and is also constant. It's beyond what I've seen among mated pairs, almost as if my body is flooded with hormones.

"I've also had an incident of feeling some pain. Not debilitating, but enough to surprise me. Speaking of surprises, I'm finding I need to focus now in order to hear thoughts." I really couldn't complain about that. Honestly, it was a relief.

"Uh, I've noticed the odor of certain human foods to be enticing. I'm not certain what to make of that." Carlisle's eyebrows shot up with this bit of information.

"There's been a minor change in my eye color." I walked over to the window and looked out at the yard. "Apparently there's a resurgence of my original green eye color in my irises. Not substantial, but still there."

"Has there been a change in the quality of your vision?"

"No." I hesitated. "Not yet."

I stayed at the window, watching Emmett and Rosalie return from a hunt. I was hoping to get the worst of this over before either of them could overhear.

"One other item. I've noticed the hair on my head is growing, and I've been growing whiskers."

"Excuse me?"

"That's correct. I've been keeping my face closely shaved to avoid alarming the other members of the family."

"Has Alice had symptoms of this sort?"

"Not that I know of, although I do find it unlikely she'd be growing whiskers as well." I grinned, but apparently Carlisle didn't see the humor in it. He rolled away from his desk and leaned back, looking at the ceiling. Neither of us said anything. I wasn't all that certain what there _was_ to be said.

"Edward, what's happened to you thus far isn't all that extreme in terms of our biology. The most dramatic is the growth of your facial and head hair, but cadavers' grow hair, so...

"Are you comparing me to the truly dead?"

He shook his head. "No, not really, I'm just not overly alarmed yet." He gave me a pointed look. "What do you plan to do about Isabella?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you plan to attempt to... consummate your relationship?"

It was one of those rare times, since I awoke to this life, that I wished the floor could open up and swallow me whole.

"I hadn't thought about it." There, that was a noncommittal answer. I looked him straight in the eye and watched his eyebrows disappear up into his hair. Perhaps he didn't believe me.

"Edward, this conversation started off with you informing me how out-of-control your arousal has..."

"Fine, Carlisle," I interrupted. "I haven't yet decided. I suspect the decision will be made by her, because if that's what she wants I'm willing to bet I won't be in any condition to refuse."

"Do you think you can, uh... do it without hurting her?"

"Honestly? I really don't know."

Carlisle turned his focus back to his desk, to the journal lying open in front of him. "Have you told her the truth about what you are?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "I tried Carlisle, but... Emmett, do you mind? I'd like some privacy."

Emmett had waltzed in and flopped onto Carlisle's leather sofa. He examined his fingernails, a smirk on his face and his thoughts well blocked.

"Eddie, I really do like her, so I feel I have a stake in this. Don't mind the pun. So, what did she say when you told her you were a vampire?"

"It's none of your concern," I shot back, but was met with raised eyebrows from both of them. "Okay... she didn't believe me. In fact, she laughed at the idea."

"Whoa, now wait a moment. You said she was fully aware of how you had saved her, and that she saw me use my hands to alter the damage to the van. What does she _think_ you are?"

"Emmett, I'd done more than just tell her I was a vampire. I told her all I was capable of, but it seems that since the incident with the van she'd come to her own conclusion about what I was."

"And that is?"

I groaned. "She thinks I'm an alien."

Carlisle's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline again, but surprisingly, Emmett just looked thoughtful. I had expected outrageous laughter out of him. Twice now, in the past few days, he'd surprised me. He'd also gotten far too good at blocking me.

"Ya know, a recent CNN poll indicates 80% of Americans believe the US government is hiding evidence of UFOs and alien encounters."

"Where did you get..."

"I read. What I'm trying to say, buddy, is that it's far more likely that Bella's going to believe you're an alien with superhuman powers than she's going to believe you're a vampire. Latest research shows only 4% of humans believe in vampires. Actually, it's even worse. Only 2% of women believe, and 6% of men. No clue why men are more gullible, or more intuitive. Maybe it's wrapped up in their sexual fantasies. I should probably put together a control group and..."

"Okay, okay, you've made your point. In other words, you're saying I may have a hell of a time convincing Isabella of the truth, am I correct?"

"You said it, Eddie." He smirked at me. "Good luck." He stood and smacked me on the shoulder, sending me flying into Carlisle's bookcase. "Catch you later, Rose has a movie she wants to watch."

All this talk, and not very much came out of it. I took a deep breath and walked over to Carlisle's desk and reached for the journal. He held his hand over it, not touching it, and gave me a stern look.

"I think you should consider getting rid of it."

A sense of dread overcame me, a feeling of panic. I could feel all my muscles constricting just at the thought...

"No." I picked it up and cradled it to my chest.

"Edward, I..."

"No," I repeated, a little louder than I'd intended. "If nothing else it's an artifact, perhaps a valuable one. Nothing too dire has occurred as yet, and I'd like to continue researching it." I turned and, without waiting for a response, returned to my room, carefully placing the book back on my desk.

Rubbing my hand over my face, I scowled at the damned thing. I knew my departure was abrupt, but I didn't want to tell Carlisle the truth - I was having trouble admitting it even to myself. I was enjoying these little forays into the lessening of what made me a vampire. I wasn't quite human, but I felt less like a vampire, less ruled by the instincts associated with my condition. Not only was this moving me towards what I'd always fervently wished for, but it also might be the answer to allowing me to be closer to Isabella, while she remained human...

Carefully lifting the cover, I took a peek to see if there had been a response to my latest entry. Sighing, I closed it and carried it to the chest, locking it carefully away. Wandering back to my desk I glanced at my phone and saw the flash indicating a missed call. Who would have called? Could it have been...?

_Edward, I'm heading to the bookstore in Port Angeles and thought ... er... maybe you'd like to come with me. I guess you're busy. Uh... see you tomorrow at school. Bye._

A simple voice mail, a simple trip - so why was I suddenly gripped in panic?

"Alice?"

She walked in immediately and sat down on my bed. "You need me to look?"

"I thought _I_ was the mind reader."

"Oh please, I could hear the voice mail from my room." She closed her eyes for a moment. "It's not clear, but unless you have anything better to do, I'd rather be safe than sorry..."

I was out the door and down the stairs before she finished.

'*'

The sun was low in the sky when I slid into a parking spot on the street in front of the only bookstore in Port Angeles. Unfortunately, with the low sun came beams of direct sunlight slipping below the edges of the cloud cover. I picked up Isabella's scent on the sidewalk in front of me, but a quick look through the window of the store confirmed she was gone. So where was she?

Her truck was parked on the other side of the road, so she hadn't headed back home yet. She was somewhere in Port Angeles, the problem was... _where?_

This new need to focus in order to capture thoughts worked against me as I tried to scan through minds, looking for anyone who might have been looking at her, or who was currently thinking of having recently seen her – anything so I could get a sense of her location. I had no concrete reason for the fear welling up in me, but I couldn't dismiss the rising tension either. Alice's vision was unclear, but there was enough sense of the potential of trouble that I found myself starting to panic.

An hour later the sun had set, and I was still driving through the streets when _yes... there she was._ I focused in on her face before I filtered back into the mind I'd found. Bella appeared afraid yet ready to fight, and he was enjoying it, full of glee, his penis hard as he thought of the impending rape, getting harder as he imagined the sharp blade of his knife cutting through her porcelain skin...

Oh my god, _for all that's holy where, __where were they?_ Searching, looking, until finally I heard it. Her scream echoing off to my left, into the industrial area, into the alley. I followed the echoes back to their source, my tires burning as I skid through a corner and came upon them, my car door squealing with the protest of bending metal as I tore it open and ran towards them, the knife already in his hand, his other hand gripping the fabric of her shirt, ready to rip it from her body.

She was still okay, it was the spark of defiance in Bella's eyes, the set of her stubborn chin that reassured me. Thank the heavens she had screamed or I might never have found her, but she looked like she was going to try to fight, and my respect for this young woman increased a hundred-fold.

But this would not be the night she would fight on her own. I would show this monster what it was like to feel fear.

His eyes turned to me as he heard me growl, but the grip on her shirt never loosened. I was moving so fast I knew I should only be a blur to him but even so, the smirk on his face broadened as his thoughts betrayed his joy. He'd not only get to rape and kill the girl, but he'd have me as an audience before he dispatched me as well. He could hardly contain his amusement at the realization tonight would be a two for one kill.

"Bella," I choked out, and in spite of her terror she heard me and turned to me, her eyes changing from defiance to relief. He tightened his grip on her, another fantasy of her bloody and twisted body as he ejaculated over her filled his mind, and I lost it.

My hand shot out and grabbed the wrist of the hand holding her shirt, squeezing it to numb his fingers – I had to make sure he let her go before I took care of him. His hand spasmed and opened - just what I needed.

"Move back, Bella, move back now." I didn't take my eyes off him but I heard her feet moving, felt her presence shifting behind me. He was still smirking but as the pain in his wrist increased and he realized his feeble attempts to twist out of my grasp weren't working I watched him go from amusement to uncertainty. But uncertainty wasn't what I wanted. I wanted him to feel fear. Even fear wasn't good enough; I wanted him to soil himself in terror.

Twisting his wrist and pinning his arm behind his back I pushed him against a rough brick wall. "She will be your last victim, you cretin," I hissed into his face. His right arm swung around, the knife blade sliding out of the handle as he thrust it up into my abdomen, a smirk of victory splitting his face until he felt the impact hit his hand, the sound of the tip of the blade breaking off as it hit my skin, as he registered the pain in his hand meeting an immobile object as the recoil reverberated up his arm.

Full reality hit me at that moment. That knife was meant for Bella. The knife whose point was now broken off on the ground below me, wielded by this fetid human in my grasp, was meant to kill her, my mate, the woman I'd waited a hundred years for - the beautiful young woman trembling somewhere behind me. He was going to take her body and take her life and throw it out like so much trash, and my mind narrowed – it narrowed in fury so all I could see was the red and dirty and roughened skin in front of me, the beady little eyes trying to plan its escape, the fetid odor of the skin of the man who wanted to rape and murder Isabella.

With a scream I lunged forward, my teeth sinking into the sweat-soaked stink of his neck, the hot blood filling my mouth as I sucked it in deep and full as I expanded my chest, pulling in a long draught and just as I was about to swallow, feeling his ineffectual squirming beneath me, relishing in the fear he finally felt, wanting him to know true terror for the first time in his life - the taste of the blood assaulted me. Hot and salty and musty and... I felt my gorge rise because it was the blood of this creature, foul and nauseating, the satisfaction of draining him dry disappearing as the thick blood swirled around my tongue and teeth and I couldn't, I just couldn't bring myself to swallow.

Tearing my teeth from his neck I turned to the side and spit his noxious fluid out of my mouth, the pumping blood flowing down his neck to his chest, and I didn't want it, I didn't care about it. All I wanted was his pain, his terror. All I wanted was for him to die as I lunged back at him, both hands grasping his greasy head by his ears and with a quick twist I tore his head from his neck and threw it to the side, his eyes still blinking and his mouth still moving, unaware they were no longer attached to the rest of his body.

My chest heaving, I looked down at the twitching body, at the rip in my shirt and at the blood on my hands. Slowly I turned, my mind returning to me, my need to find Bella paramount... when our eyes met. Hers were wide, her face pale in the moonlight, her hands dropped to her side and her mouth open – those beautiful brown eyes boring into mine with a expression that could either be shock or disgust or fear... I couldn't hear her mind, I didn't know. Panic started to overwhelm me – no, no, I couldn't lose her now.

"Bella?"

Her eyes remained fixed to mine as she took a deep breath. She looked from me to the headless corpse, blood still spouting from the gaping wound, and then back to me.

"I'm sorry I laughed at you."

What? Is this woman speaking English? Are we both in the same place, experiencing the same things, living in the same universe? Something about that thought tickled the back of my mind, something felt important about it, but for now all I could do was look at her and pray I hadn't lost her forever.

"Pardon me?" I whispered.

"I shouldn't have laughed, Edward," she said, her voice shaking, the words cracking. "I suppose you really are a vampire."

* * *

**A/N**

Yo! Again.

Thank you all for reading, and for reviewing. And for those of you who are concerned, Douglas has escaped. However, the last time I saw him, he had a smile on his little squirrel face.

Come, come play on the Twilighted thread under Alternate Universe. See if you can get me to sing.

And again, thank you! Drop a review if you like. I should have the blood off the walls soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my plot, my universes, my lemons. Mwahahaha  
**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

_**Warning: This story is rated M for a reason, and that reason isn't just lemons. There is some violence in this chapter, too, and in some of the upcoming chapters.**_

**Chapter 10**

_**EAM POV**_

"Get the fuck away from her, you scumbag!"

Baseball bat in hand, I ran towards the piece of shit who had Bella, his fist grasping her shirt, trying to ignore the disjointed words floating in my head – _rape, murder, stab, spunk on her body _– repeating like a mantra in a voice that wasn't mine. Bat lifted over my shoulder, my body shaking with rage and adrenaline, I threatened him again.

"Let go of her or I'm going to bash your head in." Bella twisted, trying to pull out of his grasp, but he wasn't letting go. With her in the way there were limits to how wide I could swing without taking her down with him, and I was reconsidering my approach when his other hand whipped out of his pocket, the blade of a switchblade knife springing into view.

"Go away, pretty boy. This is none of your concern unless you'd like some of this," he sneered, waving the knife at me. _Bella, a knife, a crazy piece of shit threatening her. _ My head was spinning, almost incoherent as vile, disgusting scenes battered at me left and right. They were gruesome scenes of Bella being raped, of her blood coating the knife, of dead glassy eyes and this fucker laughing with delight. I roared in fury and slammed the bat against the brick wall behind him – brick dust and shards flying through the air, the bat splintering from the impact and finally, _finally_ the fucker was startled enough to loosen his grasp just as Bella brought up her knee and kicked him. _Hard._

The knife flew out of his hand and she ran to me, grabbed my hand and pulled, muttering words I couldn't understand as we ran back to the car. She was just crawling through the door when I spun around and saw he had gotten up and was coming at us – teeth bared and spit flying out of his cursing mouth. _Oh shit._ I flew around to my side, got the door open, slammed into gear and got the hell out of there, watching in the rear view mirror as he limped after us, shouting and threatening to kill us both.

"Bella, are you all right?" I gasped, my heart flying in my chest, only my grip on the steering wheel keeping me from rattling apart.

"Oh god, Edward, yes, yes, I'm fine." I took my eyes off the road and looked at her, into wide brown eyes and a soft smile and her chest still heaving from the run and the fear and fuck, I couldn't keep from smiling back.

"Thank you, Edward. Thank you again, but how did you know?"

Oh shit, what was I going to tell her? My sister Alice had a vision? I own a book that's making us both insane? Mind if I lick some of your blood in payment for rescuing you? As my adrenaline started to ebb, and my body finally understood the danger was past, I had the uncomfortable realization my dick was as hard as a rock. I mean, I know I'm a fucking teenager but I was starting to feel like a perv. No matter what the hell was going on around us, painful wood and Bella were constant companions. I swear I could feel my mind multi-tasking as visions of a naked Bella were filling my head, her mouth wrapped around my dick, while at the same time I was worried she'd find out my brain was falling apart, while at the same time I was trying to come up with a good excuse for why I was in Port Angeles.

Maybe I could embroider the truth, and leave the whole Alice and her visions part out of it? It had been an hour after Alice and I saw the latest message in the journal. She was back in her room and I was sitting in the dark, listening to music, trying to figure out how to deal with this latest development when I heard feet pounding through the hallway and my door burst open, a deranged Alice – her hair spiking all around her – silhouetted by the light in the hallway.

"Go to Port Angeles now! I mean go, before it's too late and she's..."

"_What the fuck_, what are you talking about?" I jumped off the bed and started to pull on my shoes without even thinking.

"Just do it, or Bella will be hurt. Badly hurt!" She was holding her head and shaking and I didn't stop to ask anything else. I grabbed my keys and ran.

No, I couldn't tell her the complete truth. "I got your voice mail, Bella, and was hoping I might be able to catch you while you were still in Port Angeles, and perhaps take you to dinner. I heard your screams and, well..."

"And you always carry a baseball bat in your car?"

Think fast. "Uh, my family likes to head up to this mountain clearing and play baseball. You know, it's the all-American pastime after all." That sounded reasonable, right? "Maybe you'd like to join us some time?"

I slid into a parking space in front of one of the two nice restaurants in Port Angeles, and turned back to her. She had a breathtaking smile on her face. "Yes, I'd love to play with you and your family. I'm not very good but maybe I can referee or something." She was twisting her hands in her lap. "You must be really good. I mean, I've never seen anyone swing a bat so hard it got destroyed, along with part of a wall."

So, this girl is almost raped and killed and she's smiling and looking like she just finished a run around the park, but the idea of not being good enough to play baseball with me and my family had her nervous? Maybe we belong together, and can spend our lives nursing each other through our delusions.

"I'm not that good," I assured her. "I'm certain the bat had a crack I didn't notice. And... er... the wall must have been old. You know what they say about old brick and earthquakes and stuff." Shit, that didn't sound good even to me, but I'd be damned if I knew how I managed to dissolve that bat and destroy that wall.

Time to switch subjects before my lies and half-truths started tripping me up. "Do you think you can eat?" I asked, nodding at the restaurant.

Smiling enthusiastically she opened her door and popped out, giving me a moment for that much-needed adjustment before I joined her. Taking her hand we strolled into the Steak and Brew. It was between this and the Italian restaurant, but it occurred to me, after this afternoon's roast incident, that maybe I could stomach rare meat. It was definitely worth a try, and much better than suggesting to Bella that I dine on some road kill on the way back to Forks.

The smells assaulted me as soon as we walked in the door. Beer, lots of beer, tickling my noise and adding to the Bella throat burn with the malty smell of yeast and hops. Other smells, chicken and burned burgers and... I sniffed the air. There was something riding the soft currents of air wafting through the restaurant that wasn't too bad.

And then there was the buzzing, constant, adding to the din of the crowd. I closed my eyes briefly, and tried to focus only on Bella. To my surprise, it eased a bit. I'd have to play with that another time.

"Have you been here before," she asked, looking up at me and smiling as we waited for a waitress to seat us.

"Nope. My parents prefer the Italian restaurant, Bella Italia, but this is fine."

"Well, Italian would have been fine, but I'd hate to go someplace named after me," she laughed. "Besides, I'm in the mood for steak."

We walked behind the waitress who towed us towards a table in the middle of the floor. After quiet word and a twenty slipped into her hand she sat us in a dark corner. I reminded myself to add another twenty after dinner. This was perfect, even if I was starting to feel... ill.

Clearing my throat, I tried to fight the burn, the saliva, and the growing fear I'd barf at the table from all the smells swirling around me. Bella ignored the menu and asked the waitress to stay. Cool. I can barf in front of them both.

"Ready to order?" The waitress had a tone in her voice that caught my attention. I looked over at her just in time to see her batting her eyes at me while sneering at Bella. I made sure I looked impassive and turned away. I mean, I had this gorgeous girl with me, and this woman thought I'd be interested in her?

Bella coughed, and the waitress dragged her eyes back to her. "Eight ounce New York strip, baked potato and... what kind of vegetable do you have today?"

The waitress looked down her nose. "Corn, carrots, peas..."

"Corn. That's it. Thanks."

"And how do you want your steak?"

Bella grinned. "Rare, so rare a good vet could resuscitate it."

_Fucking shit, that sounded good_. "Really, that's how you like it?"

She blushed a little. "Yeah, that's how my mother liked it and, you know..."

Yeah, I did. I turned to the waitress. "I'll have the same," I said, and handed her the menus.

I'd like to say I remembered everything we talked about during dinner, but if asked to recall it, I'd remember laughter, and smiles, and discussions of books and music and TV shows and either we agreed, or we disagreed. But it still fit the two of us together, everything complimenting everything else. The food though – fuck,_ the steak was delicious_. No nausea, and adding more salt just seemed to make it taste better, the way it's supposed to, the way I _needed_ it to. I was just wondering if I could talk Esme into cooking steak for me just to the point it stopped mooing when Bella put her napkin on the table, patted her full stomach, glanced at her empty plate and announced she was heading to the ladies room. She blushed when she said it, which was just so fucking adorable my cock started to throb again.

Not like it had stopped all night. Sitting in our dark corner, the table lit with a cheap candle that threw orange glowing light on her beautiful skin, making her beauty even more ethereal, throwing highlights and shadows around her long neck, along the curves of those luscious breasts, glowing in her huge eyes and framing her soft lips.

Did I mention her breasts?

I watched her ass sway its way around the corner, and then looked down at my plate, a goofy grin on my face. Then I noticed it. The steak was all gone, but the juices remained, blood red and swirling on the white china plate. Taking a deep breath I drew in the delicious aroma and, with a quick glance to see if anyone was looking, I quickly lifted the plate, brought it to my lips and let the juices slide directly into my open mouth.

_Shit, it was heaven_. I could feel the blood coat my throat, easing the burn immediately. My fingers and toes tingled, I felt stronger, my head was clearer, my heart pounded and my cock grew even harder. _Fuck yeah, this was great._ I looked around again, Bella was still gone and not a soul was in sight, and then I noticed her plate, and the leftover blood from her steak pooled in her dish, calling to me.

I had to be fast.

I reached over and grabbed it, quickly tipping the plate and pouring it down my throat. Oh fuck this was too damned good. _More, I wanted more_. I flattened my tongue and licked what was left, the blood, the salt, the spices were a heady combination and damn it made me feel so good. More, just a little more – I lifted the plate in front of my face and licked it clean and while trying to find just a little bit more I heard it.

Someone clearing their throat.

I froze, peeking over the rim of the plate, my tongue still out and flat against the surface. Bella was standing there, her eyes wide and the edges of her mouth just starting to curl in amusement.

_Oh shit._

I lowered the plate and gingerly returned it to the table, and started to slide low in my chair as she sat down, continuing to stare at me. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I desperately tried to come up with an excuse.

She broke her stare just long enough to glance at the bread basket. "Hungry?"

"Uh…" My ability to speak English had obviously disappeared.

She glanced at the bread again. "I don't mind but, wouldn't that have been easier?"

What was she talking about…_oh!_ I should have sopped the gravy up with the bread! Right. Duh.

_Eww._ No, bread wasn't going to do it…just the idea of eating it made me nauseous. _Think Masen!_

"Uh," My language skills hadn't improved. "I don't care for that kind of bread?"

"Is that a question?" she laughed.

I could help but grin back, and went for honestly. Sorta. "I mean, damn Bella, it looked so good. I guess it's hard to take the teenager out of the man, huh?"

She laughed loudly and grabbed my hand. "To be honest, it's nice to see you acting your age. Sometimes I think you act like you're a hundred years old."

Crisis averted, I paid for dinner, tipped the waitress the extra $20, and left the card with her phone number on it in the bill folder on the table. I thought it was more than obvious I was with Bella, and maybe at one time I'd have accepted that kind of flirting as a compliment. Today I just saw it as a fucking insult.

We drove back to the bookstore to retrieve her truck, and I followed Bella back to Forks. After a quick conversation in her driveway, next to the parked police cruiser while I nervously watched the window curtain twitching, we agreed to a picnic on Saturday and lunch at school the following day. I should have gotten a kiss in earlier, because there was no way I'd kiss her with her Police Chief Father staring at us.

I drove home in a daze, my thoughts consumed with Bella. I had underestimated her – she was far more than a pretty face. My feelings for her were moving beyond my desperate need to have her. Her mind, her compassion, her sense of humor... There was no denying it - I adored this girl. Everything about her.

Floating up to my room I stopped, and stared at my desk. Taking a deep breath I pulled out my keys, unlocked the drawer, and pulled out the journal. It was time to deal with it.

I sat down in front of the book, and winced as my jeans pinched me. Maybe I'd be able to concentrate better if I showered first.

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

Isabella's eyes were wide as saucers, her face so white she was almost as pale as me. I could feel the trembling, _my_ trembling, my knees shaking and if I had a heart, it would be breaking. I was going to lose her. I closed my eyes and waited for the running and screaming to start.

But instead I heard a footstep, and her heartbeat was a little louder, a little faster. Another footstep, and I opened my eyes. She was gazing right at me, and she was slowly moving closer.

She tilted her head and stopped. "You won't hurt me, right?"

I shook my head. "Never, I couldn't – never you."

She nodded her head and started to walk again, until she was standing right in front of me, still looking directly into my eyes.

"Do you have something in the car to change into?" she asked, her voice soft.

_What?_ "Excuse me?"

She smiled again, and touched the hole ripped into my shirt by his knife. "Do you have something different you can wear?"

Oh. Right. I took a couple of steps back from her, rushed to the Volvo and grabbed a sweater from the backseat. Holding it over my arm I walked back, approaching her carefully. Maybe, I prayed, if I did precisely what she said she wouldn't run away? She wouldn't leave me?

Isabella took another step towards me, so close now that I could feel the heat of her body, smell the floral scent of her hair. The dried sweat from her fear was still coating her skin, but another scent was joining it, and it was making my head spin. It couldn't be…

Bella raised her arms and placed her small fingers on the top button of my shirt, and flicked it open, her fingers dropping to the next.

"Bella, I can handle this..."

She slowly shook her head. "No, I've got this. Please." She looked back in my eyes and I nodded, staying as still as I could, which, as a vampire, meant I was frozen.

One by one she opened the buttons and then reaching up to my shoulders she opened the collar wide and slid the shirt down my arms, letting it drop to the ground. It was dark in the alley, a light breeze was blowing from the water, and there were no sounds except for the distant muffled beating of waves upon a beach. I closed my eyes and relished the silence, both inside and out as there appeared to be no one close enough for thoughts to intrude upon this moment. I could feel her breath against my chest, I could hear her soft footfalls as she walked around me. I swear I could feel her eyes examining my body. I scrunched my eyes closed, determined to keep them that way. The last thing I could handle was the ultimate horror in her eyes when she realized just how much I wasn't human, how different I was from a human male.

Then I felt them – soft and warm fingers, tentatively touching my shoulders, gliding down my chest and skimming my skin, tracing the hard muscles underneath the hard skin. The feeling of a hand other than my own touching me was breathtaking, and I heard her heartbeat start to accelerate as the palms of her hands joined her fingers, sliding across my chest, over my shoulders, down my ribs, I heard her take a few steps as she walked behind me, her hands never leaving my body as they smoothed over me, sliding over my upper back, down, slowly, her heat and soft skin tracing me and oh god I didn't know anything could be this wonderful when it suddenly got better - her soft and hot breath blew against my skin as she placed her lovely lips against my spine and kissed me.

"Edward, was that a purr I just heard?" I could hear the smile in her voice and I wanted to collapse in relief but that wasn't going to be possible because my entire body, and I mean my entire body, was rock hard with want, and need, and all consuming lust for this exceptional woman.

"I don't know, Bella. I've never made that noise before."

"Sounded like a purr to me," she whispered. "And I like it. I like it a lot." She placed another soft kiss on my back and then I felt her moving back around, her hands on my chest again when yes, oh god yes, she leaned over and placed her lips against my sternum.

"Thank you, Edward," she whispered into my skin. "I owe you my life."

I shook my head. "It shouldn't have been like that, I shouldn't have done that." I trailed off, feeling her hot breath on my chest, her soft lips caressing me.

"You did what was necessary. I can't thank you enough."

"No, Bella," I groaned. "I lost control. I wanted you to understand what I was, but I never, ever, wanted you to see that. To see the monster..."

She stepped back, and I opened my eyes. I expected the fear to finally be there, but instead there was determination.

"You are what you are, and you are most certainly not a monster." She squinted at me. "A monster wouldn't have saved my life, twice now. A monster wouldn't care. A monster would have helped that filth kill me." She put her hands back on my chest, and slid them up behind my neck, pressing herself against me, and against my raging erection trapped against my thigh by my tight jeans.

"Bella, I..." I was embarrassed and about to take a step back when she moved, brushing her hips directly against me, and tilted her face and reached up on her toes. I leaned down, her soft lips, her scent, her skin, her hair, her arousal overwhelming me as she gently slid her hips back and forth against my erection. And with a sigh, she brushed her lips against mine, and stepped back.

"You're beautiful," she whispered. "I never imagined such beauty could exist," and then glanced at my hands, frowning slightly.

I was frozen, all of me, and puzzled as I saw her bend down and grab my discarded shirt. But then she stood, took my hand, and started wiping it. Awareness of something other than her body flooded back, and I realized she was using my shirt to clean the blood off my hands.

"Can't have you going around like this," she whispered, focused on her task as she made sure every drop of blood from one hand was cleaned off before she moved to the other.

I closed my eyes, utterly lost in her – and then remembered. The body. I had to get rid of the body.

"Bella, sweetheart," I said gently, taking her hand. She looked up at me, eyes wide but smiling. "I have to make a call, we have to..." I nodded in the direction of the body and its severed head.

"Of course," she said, stepping back.

Reaching into my pocket I grabbed my cell. Carlisle picked up on the first ring.

"Edward, you're okay?"

I sighed. "Yes, I got here in time. Look, can you ask..."

"Emmett and Jasper are on their way. Don't worry, they'll take care of it. Alice wasn't able to get a firm fix, but she could see enough to suspect you'd need help."

"Thank you," I whispered. "I'll see you later." I closed the phone and slipped it back into my pocket.

"Isabella, we need to get away from here."

She just nodded and handed me back my bloody shirt. I walked over to the body, slowly - still afraid of startling her, and left it underneath. Emmett and Jasper would know it was mine, and know it needed to be destroyed along with the body. Isabella's eyes narrowed and then she nodded, immediately understanding what I was doing.

There was no longer any question about it. This woman, although human, was my mate. Her chronological age was of no consequence, she was beautiful, and brilliant, and fearless. I didn't know how I deserved her, but I'd spend every moment of the rest of my existence trying to prove my worth. My chest muscles clenched when I remembered it would be a limited time, but I set that aside. For now, I needed to make sure she understood how precious she was to me.

I walked back, slowly, and Isabella met my eyes with a smile, and walked to meet me. Her arms came up around my neck again, and this time I bent down and wrapped my arms around her waist and drew her lips to mine.

"Isabella, I... "

"Hush, not now," she breathed, her lips brushing mine. "Later. Let's get away from here."

I nodded and retrieved my sweater, took her hand and led her to my car. "Food for you, I think."

She nodded, looking down at the ground, squeezing my hand but looking like the events of the evening were starting to take its toll on her. I needed to get sugar and food into her, and quickly.

The restaurant wasn't overly crowded, and a well-placed tip bought us a dark and secluded table in the corner. Of course, I wasn't familiar with the restaurants of Port Angeles, but I'd driven past the Steak and Brew a number of times, and Isabella was agreeable.

"Logically, I know the last thing I should be thinking about is food," she remarked. I was about to vehemently disagree when she interrupted the tirade I was about to inflict on her. "But the truth is, I'm not only starving, but I really want steak," she giggled, effectively shutting me up.

Not only did it shut me up, but it got me to thinking. Ever since we walked into the restaurant I was overwhelmed with just how insanely delicious the scents were. Human food, even better than the slop I knew they served in the school cafeteria, was everywhere around me – some smelling better than others. A waiter walked by with a dish filled with steak and yes...it was the best yet. I was about to say something when Bella perked up.

"Ah, just what I want!" she declared, and instead of waiting for me she started flagging down the waitress. The woman noticed her, started ogling me, and sauntered over, her hips swinging as she undulated to the table. This was another instance where I could be thankful that hearing her thoughts now required concentration. If I simply ignored her I could avoid visions that would kill anyone's appetite.

Isabella rattled off her order, including a surprising desire for her meat to be very rare. Impulsively, I turned to the waitress and informed her I'd have the same. I wondered...

And the truth was, it was magnificent. I couldn't eat it all, but very small pieces were absolutely luscious. I could feel each piece hit my stomach like a rock but I could take care of that later. In the meantime, for the first time since 1918 I was eating food, _chewing_ food, and actually enjoying it!

"Have you been here before?" she asked around bites. "You really seem to like their food."

I put my fork down, suddenly stunned with what I was doing. I was sitting in a restaurant and eating human food. I looked over at Bella who was waiting for my answer. What do I say? I hadn't mentioned to her that the only thing I can consume is blood. If I tell her the truth, how do I explain this?

"I've never eaten here before, Bella. In fact, it's been a very long time since I've eaten in a restaurant." I looked down at the food, surprised by how much I'd consumed.

"Where did you eat last? Maybe we should try it some time."

Odd... after decades of trying to remember aspects of my human life, the answer to her question came to me, quickly and unexpectedly.

"The Chicago University Club."

"Seriously? The last time you were in a restaurant was in Chicago? When did you go there, were you on vacation?"

I grinned. "I'm originally from Chicago. It's where I was born."

"Oh," she replied, continuing to work on her steak with gusto. "When was that? I thought you were in Alaska before you moved to Forks."

I looked around, noting the other tables were far enough away from us that if I spoke softly we wouldn't be overheard. Capturing the eyes of the lovely woman across from me, I hoped this wouldn't be the final straw – although I took heart by how well she handled the monstrous side of my nature. I took a deep breath, and decided to take the plunge.

"To the best of my recollection, I dined at that restaurant in the late spring of 1918, as a celebration for my birthday." I waited and watched her carefully.

Isabella put her fork down and leaned forward. "And when were you born?"

I swallowed. "In June, in the year 1901."

Isabella leaned back, nodding her head. "And, of course, you weren't born like... this?" she asked, waving her hand at me.

"No."

She dropped her fork and thought for a moment, looking down at her dinner, arms at her side. Suddenly her eyes grew wide and she raised her head.

"It was the Spanish influenza pandemic, that was when your parents died, right?"

I nodded and tried not to smile at how quickly her mind processed information.

"Were you dying, too?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"How, I mean... how, who?"

I glanced around meaningful, and returned my eyes to her. "Another time, perhaps."

She looked around as she remembered we were in a public restaurant. "Oh, of course." Then she smiled, her face tinged with her beautiful blush.

"What?"

She looked up at me and giggled. "I've never been interested in boys my own age; I always saw them as immature." She laughed some more. "Talk about going to extremes."

I reached over for her hand, tentatively, and she raised it to the table, meeting me halfway. Her hand was small, so delicate, the skin so smooth and so beautifully warm.

"You're an exceptional woman, Isabella Swan." I watched her blush deepen, and was tempted to say more, but she withdrew her hand and picked up her fork, trying to appear nonchalant.

"So, you don't go to restaurants. Pity, you're missing out on a lot."

It was time. "I don't eat normal food, Isabella."

Her fork was poised above her plate, frozen. She glanced at my dish. "Never?"

I shook my head. "Never."

"Then what are you doing now?"

I gestured to the meat on my plate. "For some reason, I find the aroma of this food enticing, and the taste is even better. It's the first time in all those years that I've tried..."

"Really? I wonder why that is?"

"I don't know, nor understand." I looked up at her. "I won't be able to digest it, I no longer have the capacity, my body can't..."

Her eyes widened and she looked... amused? "You'll have to get rid of it?"

"Yes."

"Understandable," she laughed, "but I don't want to watch."

I drove Isabella back to her truck, and then followed her back to Forks, with one short pre-arranged stop while I purged what needed to be eliminated. And I did an admirable job of ignoring the sounds of laughter coming from her truck. Even a vampire has to try to maintain some dignity. Well, maybe I chuckled a little.

We were almost back when suddenly her brake lights came on and she swerved into a parking area on the side of the road. I waited for a moment, but there was no movement from inside her truck. With some anxiety I opened my door and walked over to her truck, peering through the window.

"Get in," she mouthed, pointing to the passenger door. Thoroughly confused, I walked around and opened the creaking door on the old behemoth, and slid in next to her.

Bella sat still, staring out the windshield. "When we return to my house, Charlie will be there."

"Of course, I expected as much. It's late."

Turning to me, she smiled. "I'm not ready to leave you for the night, not yet."

All it took were those words from her for everything to flood back. Dinner had been a sensory experience that had given me a momentary reprieve from the other new ways my body and mind had been affected by this woman. But all it took were a few simple words and I was suddenly and acutely aware of the beauty sitting next to me, the lithe yet curvaceous lines of her body, the flawless skin, the long, shimmering hair, the kaleidoscope of scents swirling around her. I didn't need to say a word, I didn't need to move a muscle. Before I could think clearly enough to react, Isabella slid across the old bench seat of the truck and drawing herself to her knees, slid into my lap, facing me.

"I really am sorry I laughed at you when you tried to tell me the truth," she said softly, her hands on my shoulders, her palms massaging my muscles through my thin sweater.

"I'm sorry you had to recognize the truth this way," I whispered, shaking my head. "If anything had happened to you..."

"Shhh, I'm okay, thanks to you." Her eyes softened and then she leaned forward, wrapped her arms around my shoulders and buried her face in my neck. My arms came up and circled her, holding her to me, her warm breath tickling my neck, the heat of her body sending mine into upward spirals of increasing arousal as I tried to control myself, to only give her what she wanted, to follow her lead.

The silence was soothing, caught in a bubble of sensuality with nothing more than the beat of her heart and our respiration offering a symphonic background to the dark woods surrounding us, the night for once, truly magic - until Isabella broke the silence.

"Can I assume what you are is a secret?"

My eyes grew wide. How had I forgotten? "Absolutely, yes. It's imperative you keep this secret, you can't tell anyone." I leaned back to make sure she understood. "Your life depends upon it."

She nodded her head in understanding. "You will explain why, correct?"

"Yes," I breathed in relief, "but not right now. Right now I just want to hold you."

I drew her back to me, and she returned to my embrace, her soft body molding to mine.

"Why did you tell me what you are?"

I blew out a long breath and rubbed her back, pressing her just a bit more to me, relishing her heat radiating through my clothes. "Because you needed to know, you needed to know the truth before..."

"Before this?" she murmured, her lips pillowed softly against my skin, her hot breath sending tingles throughout my body.

"Yes," I groaned. "You're everything to me, Isabella." I pushed her back again, I needed to make sure she saw the truth in my eyes. "You're everything I've been searching for, without knowing I was searching." My hands moved to her waist, sliding up and down over the silky material of her shirt. I could feel her delicate ribs under my hands, the trembling muscles under her hot skin. She reached forward and brushed my lips with her own.

"Then we're lucky I feel the same way," she breathed.

The heat in me rose, the hormones that couldn't be hormones racing through me as I lifted my hand into her silky hair, letting it run through my fingers, the scent of her breath intoxicating me as I softly nipped at her lips, tasting them, running my tongue over them and somehow managed to always remain aware of my teeth. But it wasn't just her lips that held all her secrets. I skimmed my lips across her cheek, down her jaw and to her neck, her pulsing blood no longer enticing me towards a meal, but instead to the life inside this woman, the heat of her body, the draw of her sex.

It was the moan that did it, long and breathy and I crushed her to me, my hands sliding down and grabbing the roundness of her soft bottom and crushed her to the throbbing hardness in my jeans.

"Yes, Edward, please," she groaned, pushing her heat directly against where I needed it most. I licked at her neck, the salt and essence of Isabella filling me, surrounding me, growling when she tasted my skin, her tongue dancing, playing, nipping, sucking, her hands growing frantic on my back, running up and into my hair and grabbing it in her fingers and pulling.

Oh yes, more, I need more of her. My hands moved around her waist and up, my lips still on her neck but my hands reaching for her breasts, the softness of the flesh and the hardness of their peaks. Suddenly she leaned back, and with eyes heavy and half-closed she reached for the bottom of her shirt and pulled it over her head – and I was staring at a white lace brassiere encasing heaving breasts that were at once the most stunning and erotic sight I'd ever seen. Her scent was even stronger, enticing me from the valley between them as they heaved, straining against their confines and slowly, oh so slowly, and breathing in deeply I dove towards their secrets, my hands on her waist, and touched that sweet valley with the tip of my tongue.

"Ahhh," she moaned, her head dropping and her fingers twisting into my hair. I could feel her tremble, the goose bumps on her skin rise up as I tasted her sweet skin, my tongue running along, between, anywhere I could, and then over – sliding over those tight nipples and wishing there was nothing between us. And as soon as that thought entered my mind her hands left my hair, reached behind her and with a soft swish of fabric her brassiere fell down between us, and Isabella's astonishingly beautiful breasts spilled out, and into my hands.

How could anything of this splendor, this perfection, exist on this earth? What miracle allowed me to be the one gifted with their sight? Her skin was ethereal, like Lenox china in its flawless beauty and color, rose pink nipples tight and enticing, all the expressions, all the mysteries of womanhood on display before me, and as I reached with my lips to kiss those sweet peaks, to taste those beautiful nipples, I knew I would worship this woman's body until the end of time.

Tenderly, carefully, I let my tongue touch it, her moans driving me forward, her hands back in my hair as she arched her back, lifting her breasts, driving them towards me. My fingers smoothed over their perfection, my taste buds exploded, my arousal beyond anything I'd ever felt before as I tried, I tried to retain enough presence not to hurt her, but to adore her while my erection screamed for release. Holding her nipple carefully between my lips, I reached behind her and drew my hands down her back, and then down to her bottom and with her hard nipple in my mouth, I pressed her against my erection and as carefully as I possibly could I ground my screaming arousal into her, her breast in my mouth and her heat against me and suddenly she stiffened, her body in spasms and I couldn't see, I couldn't hear as I lifted my head and buried my nose in her hair and with one more grind against her I exploded.

Rapture, rapture beyond the greatest works by the greatest artists. My mind filled with wonder as I knew, I understood what drove the masters to create their works of beauty. What drove the orchestra to a crescendo as emotional and painful and as all-consuming as an orgasm in the arms of the love of your life.

Our chests heaving I leaned back, and gazed at her flushed face, at her smiling lips, at her hooded eyes.

"Isabella, I..."

"Yes, Edward. I know. I do, too. But for now... let's just let it mature, mellow." She drew her arms around me, her glistening breasts pressed against me, and sighed into my neck.

Later, much later but far too soon I was back in my room, my body infused with her scent. Sighing, refusing to think of all the issues created by my overwhelming love of a human, my mating with a human, I decided that for now, I needed to approach what might be more immediate, more urgent, since it affected the welfare of not only myself, but of those around me – and possibly Isabella.

I pulled the book out of the chest, and opened it... only to find a message.

_**What are you?**_

So, it responded. A question with a question? I took up my pen, and considered what further I could write without giving myself away any more than I already had.

**I already told you, so now you reveal what you are. Human? Shape shifter? Vampire? Werewolf?**

_**Why is a fucking journal interested in what I am?**_

I was shocked by the immediate response, this hadn't happened before. But I was also put off by the tenor of the response.

**Are you capable of polite language?**

_**I'm talking to a book; I can't imagine why it would have objections**_**.**

Touché.

**Do you think it's different for me?**

_**Sure. You're the book, aren't you?**_

**I'm no more this book than you are.**

_**And you're a vampire, right?**_

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. That fit of pique was guaranteed to come back to haunt me.

**How about you tell me what ****you**** are before I confirm that?**

_**I guess you could call me human.**_

Really? I hadn't considered the possibility.

**And your name?**

_**Edward Anthony Masen**_

How was that possible? And if it was...why...

**Not Cullen?**

_**I live with them, but it's not my name. Why is your name the same as mine? Well, except you have Cullen added to it.**_

This was ridiculous. I'm glad Carlisle was so certain this wasn't another vampire with an unknown talent, because I had no idea what might explain this.

**Maybe I am insane.**

_**Join the club, and I want some fucking answers.**_

**Tsk, tsk**

_**And I don't need a book, or a vampire, or whatever the hell you are, telling me how to talk. Or write. So which are you? A book, a vampire in a book? The product of my imagination?**_

Anger, peevishness. Interesting. It was almost like talking to myself, certainly it's as angry and confused as I.

**I exist, as I'm starting to assume you do.**

_**How are you communicating with me?**_

**I have a journal that I purchased, apparently a very old journal.**

_**What does it look like?**_

**Leather cover, clean unlined pages.**

_**Where did you say you found it?**_

**I didn't say. I found it in a bookshop in Port Angeles, on the Olympic Peninsula.**

There was a pause, longer than there had been throughout this bizarre conversation. And then an answer materialized.

_**Holy fucking shit.**_

No, it couldn't be. He couldn't have the same journal, bought in the same place..._**  
**_

**Are you saying...**

I didn't even finish before his answer materialized

_**Yeah.**_

_**

* * *

**_

**A/N**

Welcome back to the world of insanity. Or worlds.

Thank you all for reading, and for the wonderful reviews!

And for those of you who are concerned, Douglas is among the missing. And for those of you who are confused, Douglas is an adorable squirrel who has a starring role in Cullenary Coupling.

Come, come play on the Twilighted thread under Alternate Universe. I explain the unexplainable, unless it gives away the plot or something...

And again, thank you! Drop a review if you like. Maybe you, too, can clean the blood off Edward's hands. I lease them out by the week.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my plot, my universes, my journal. *looking around with shifty eyes* Maybe not... **

***FM returns the journal to the Edwards*  
**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

_**Warning: This story is rated M for a reason, and that reason isn't just lemons.  
**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Chapter 11**

_**EAM POV**_

Jesus H... I don't believe it.

I stared at the journal, re-reading the long conversation between this... thing and myself. How could this be possible?

**Might I ask you where you live?**

I saw no reason why I shouldn't answer. I mean, he knows where Port Angeles is.

_**I live in a small town called Forks, not far from**_...

But the words came up before I had a chance to finish.

**I know where it is. I need to ask another question, if you have no objections.**

_**Shoot.**_

**How do you know Isabella?**

I shrugged to myself. Why not be honest?

_**She's my girlfriend. Well, I guess that's what I'd call her.**_

I never really asked, did I... But did I need to? Maybe I should. What if she didn't want me as her boyfriend? Why am I focused on this while I have a book talking to me?

There was a very long pause this time.

**I find that unlikely, unless Isabella's character is remarkably different than what I've observed.**

_**Meaning? I mean, how the hell do you know who she is?**_

**Because she's my, she's my mate.**

What the hell? Damn, I knew I should have talked to her and asked if she was willing to make it exclusive.

Wait. Holy shit, what did he call her?

_**Mate? What the fuck is that, your wife or something?**_

**Language, young man.**

_**Just answer the fucking question.**_

**It's a vampire thing. It doesn't concern you.**

Back to that shit? Well, I can give as good as he can.

_**What's the matter? Think the little human can't understand concepts the big, bag vampire can?**_

I had to wait for his answer. That's okay, I had all night.

**It's akin to being married, but without the ceremony. It's an... attraction. An unbreakable bond, at least for the vampire. It's part of the more animalistic side of our nature.**

Damn. I mean, that's really weird. If it's true then that means... no, I couldn't believe it. Bella wouldn't be cheating, playing one against the other. Would she? Could she be married to this guy and locking lips with me at the same time?

_**We are talking about the same girl right? Isabella Swan? Around 5' 4", long brown hair, brown eyes...**_

**Yes.**

There was a long pause, which was good, because I was starting to get angry. Either whoever this was, was full of shit, or I'd been played.

**I want to meet with you.**

Abso-fucking-lutely.

_**When?**_

**Would tonight be convenient?**

_**Yeah, sure. Not going to suck my blood, are you?**_

I held my head in my hands - hurt, confused, and needing answers. I needed to meet this guy.

**That's not my intent. Do you know where the picnic tables are behind Forks High School?**

_**Sure.**_

**One hour. I'll be there.**

_**You got it buddy.**_

I was just starting to close the journal when I saw another line float up onto the page.

**Bring the journal and a pen. You may need it.**

'*'

Two hours later I was sitting on top of a picnic table, scanning the dark for any sign of whoever this person was. I probably should have gotten him to describe himself, but it wasn't like crowds of people would be showing up behind the high school on a week night. Not like there'd be crowds on weekends either. Peering into the dark... nope, nothing. I got here when he said I should, and I'd been sitting on this cold wooden table for an hour already, my ass numb from the cold, hard wood. I glanced at the journal on the table next to me, and for the hundredth time since I got here, thought about how fucking insane this was.

Especially the part about Bella.

It made no sense. She'd just moved to Forks when she and I started talking and started becoming friends. How the hell did she even have the chance to meet this other guy? Could she have known him before, and he followed her here? And if that was true, why would he be using my name.

I shook my head and laughed at myself. Insane, certifiable is where I was heading. Here I was, all caught up worrying about how Bella knew this guy, forgetting that a book told me about it.

Sighing, I looked at my watch and peered into the distance again. Bullshit, it was getting close to 11 and I had school tomorrow. I wasn't waiting all night. I bet making me sit here was part of whatever kind of prank this was. I still wasn't convinced Emmett didn't have a part in it.

Disgusted, I got up and grabbed the journal and turned to stomp over to my car, but as soon as I took a step I twisted my ankle on a bottle littering the ground, falling back onto the bench seat - the journal slipping out of my hand and falling onto he table. As it fell, it bounced open.

**Where are you? You agreed to meet with me in an hour**

What the hell?

_**I'm right here, where the hell are you?**_

**I'm sitting on the picnic table, behind the High School. Mind telling me where you're hiding yourself?**

I looked around, there was no one. The light was good enough, I mean, there was a security light on the building throwing bright light into the whole area, and I was the only one there.

_**Stop playing games, okay? What are you, the invisible man?**_

I swear, I could almost hear a sigh.

**I. Am. Right. Here. I am NOT playing games. Show yourself.**

This was getting fucking absurd, and the throbbing in my ankle wasn't helping my temper.

_**Well, since I can't see you either, how about you tell me what you look like? It'll make it easier for me to look for you in the crowd of vampires all around me.**_

There was a really long pause, then more words.

**I'm six foot, one inch tall. I have pale skin, reddish-brown hair and light brown eyes**.

Suddenly my mind flew back – the photo Alice took. The photo of me, my eye in the mirror. The amber colored eye.

Holy shit, what the fuck is this about?

_**Would you describe your eye color as closer to amber?**_

**Why, where are you? Why can you see me and I can't see you?**

_**I can't see you, but…**_

I couldn't write more. How could any of this be possible?

**Tell me - tell me what you look like please**.

I stared at the words. Something had to start making sense.

_**I don't know what to write. I match your description, except my eyes are green.**_

**Do you own a blue plaid shirt?**

_**Yes, but I'm not wearing it now.**_

**But you wore it a week or so ago? Were you photographed in your room while wearing it?**

I swear, I could hear the Twilight Zone theme music playing.

_**Yeah, my sister took a photo. Are you really behind Forks High School, right now?**_

**Yes, I am. And I'm presuming you're telling the truth, as well?**

_**So I guess it's true? You're really an invisible vampire?**_

**No, I'm not invisible but as far as being a vampire... unfortunately, yes**.

_**I mean, how? They don't exist here, you know.**_

**Maybe they do, maybe they don't. If they did, you wouldn't know**.

_**Hard to hide all that blood sucking, don't you think?**_

**Vampires don't have governments the way humans do, but we do have two rules we're bound to enforce. One, we don't turn a child. The other, we hide our existence from humans.**

_**So, not everyone where you are is a vampire?**_

**Absolutely not!**

_**So I wouldn't know if any were around here?**_

**No, you wouldn't. **

Why did I suddenly feel really paranoid about being alone, behind the school, in the middle of the night?

**Does time run the same where you are? It's almost midnight here.**

_**Shit, yeah it is, and I better get my ass home before they send a search party.**_

Wait a moment...could this mean...?

_**So, does this mean your Bella and my Bella are two different people?**_

**It seems likely, under the circumstances.**

Well that was a fucking relief. Well, as much as anything right now could be a relief.

**I'd like to continue our conversation. Tomorrow night, perhaps around 8 o'clock? Would that be suitable?**

_**Sure, I'll be done with dinner. I have questions for you, too. But first, do you understand what's going on?**_

**No, I don't, but I'll continue investigating. In the meantime, since you're human, you need to get some sleep. We'll talk more tomorrow.**

I waited, but nothing else appeared. I closed the journal and climbed into my car, suddenly absolutely exhausted. As certain as I was that I would collapse as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was up for more than half the night, unable to turn off my brain. The only proof I had was this damned journal, and I'm not sure even that was proof I wasn't completely insane.

'*'

"Esme, would you mind taking a request for dinner?" I'd shuffled into the kitchen looking for coffee I didn't need. I'd gotten about 3 hours of sleep, and so I assumed I'd need caffeine to get me through the day. But the truth was, I was bright eyed and bushy-tailed and my head was as clear as if I'd slept a week. I couldn't imagine I'd stay this way all day; it must still be adrenaline from the night before. Alice was already at the table, sipping her own, Esme puttering around, cleaning up counters that looked pretty damned spotless to me.

Esme looked up at me, a smile lighting up her face. "Anything you want, Edward."

Of course I hadn't been eating well, and this woman cared for me. Shit, I've really treated her badly. "I've been craving steak lately." Alice picked her head up and gave me a questioning look. I gave her a subtle nod and a smile, and watched her grab a napkin and wipe her mouth while gulping back the saliva that flowed just at the thought. I knew precisely how she felt.

Picking up my coffee I headed back towards the stairs, pausing before my foot hit the first step. "And would you mind cooking it rare? I really like it that way." I continued without turning to look at Esme, but expected her face would be shocked. She knew, as well as I did, that my preference had always been medium-well.

Later that evening, after a full stomach and a fairly uneventful day at school, I was back in my room, the journal open on my desk. While I was waiting for our appointment I thought about Bella, for a change. Well, this time I was moving beyond my lust for her, my growing emotional attachment to her. I thought about how I'd taken our relationship for granted, how I had to make my intentions clear, how I had to get up the balls to actually ask her if she wanted to be my girlfriend.

And I knew I should tell her about this fucking journal. No way would I let her touch it – I'm not even sure I'd let her look at it. But not telling her seemed to be cheating in some way. I wasn't sure I wasn't going crazy, but if I was it was only fair she have the opportunity to decide if she wanted to be with a crazy person.

The rest of it? The blood drinking? I wasn't sure I wanted anyone but Alice to ever know about that, but I wasn't sure it was fair to hide that, too.

Life was so much easier when the only person I had to care about was me.

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

I had another hour before our assignation, and I had a variety of books laid on my desk. As soon as I'd returned from the High School I combed Carlisle's library for anything on quantum mechanics and quantum physics. Something about this seemed familiar, the memory tickling at me – and just the idea that I had trouble retrieving a memory was worrisome in itself.

This other 'Edward' and I were in the same place at the same time, yet we couldn't see each other. Both of us were in a relationship with a young woman named Isabella. We both found an old journal in a bookshop in Port Angeles.

And apparently, we looked somewhat alike. Even more interesting, he had the green eyes that I had in my youth.

So what was the connection?

Shoving aside the books filled with multiple universe theories, pushing away various treatises on the religious aspects of it, I dug to the bottom of the pile and pulled up one of Carlisle's many philosophy journals. This was just what I was looking for - a 2006 journal from Stanford University Press. I thumbed through until I found the article written by Penelope Mackie, a British philosopher.

'_The notion of transworld identity — 'identity across possible worlds' — is the notion that the same object exists in more than one possible world (with the actual world treated as one of the possible worlds). It therefore has its home in a 'possible-worlds' framework for analyzing, or at least paraphrasing, statements about what is possible or necessary.'_

I stared at the paragraph for a long time. The similarities to my situation were startling. Was the book a connection point? I swiveled around and grabbed it, caressing the scarred, leather cover. How long had this book been around? Opening it I examined the interior paper again. It was definitely from a modern manufacturing process. So was the leather cover the key? Did the journal regenerate itself time and time again as it fell into the hands of new owners? How many people had experienced this through the ages?

Picking up the book I leaned back and skimmed over our... conversation, sliding my hand over the surface of the paper. There was a distinct difference in the surface between my writing and his. I could feel the minute indentations in the paper made by my pen, whereas his words, the pigment of the ink, were almost an integral part of the paper itself. I could only assume it would be the opposite from his perspective.

Re-reading the sections about Bella, I couldn't help but smile. She's as dear to him, in his world, as she is to me in mine. His girlfriend – I could feel his possessiveness through his words, no different from my own as I explained she was my mate. Hmmm...

I frowned when I remembered this was not something she and I had discussed. There were no assumptions here, the fact I had mated to her was not subject to debate. But I hadn't told her, and I had no idea if she felt as strongly towards me. I knew she was attracted to me but, could a human feel anything remotely akin to what possessed me? I shook my head; I couldn't imagine she could feel as strongly. Human emotions were nothing like the emotions of vampires – nothing like the unchanging and obsessive nature of our decisions and our pairings. I wondered if I could possibly explain this to her in a way that she'd understand?

_**Are you there?**_

Ah, our young man. Actually, that was an assumption. I hadn't yet determined his age.

**I'm here. Might I inquire how old you are?**

_**I turned 18 last June.**_

Somewhat older than I was when I changed, but his birthday was the same month as mine.

_**I have some important questions for you.**_

**Of course.**

_**What's it like to be a vampire? I mean, what do you eat? Can you eat food? Drink blood? What?**_

**Do you think those are the most important of all the questions we might have for each other?**

_**Yeah, I do.**_

**Why?**

_**Because.**_

Because? Am I dealing with a child?

**Because why?**

_**Because I haven't been well lately, and one of the symptoms makes me think of you saying you're a vampire.**_

Curious.

**What kind of symptoms are you having?**

_**I ate a dead rabbit.**_

**And?**

_**I mean, I didn't eat the meat, I drank its blood**_

And then it hit me like a sledgehammer. And I knew I should feel guilt, but it didn't come. All I could feel was relief, and wonder how far this might go. Is it possible I might transition all the way back to human?

I knew this child wasn't prepared for what that might mean, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Was this journal heaven-sent? Was this my answer to eight decades of prayer? Might it now be possible for me to be with Isabella, as a human male? To live with her, have children with her, die with her?

If so, the possibilities were endless. I closed the journal and held it to my chest, as if it was the single most treasured of all my possessions.

Next to Isabella, it most definitely was.

* * *

**A/N**

Yes, I know it's shorter than the usual, but it's transitional, and it's important. VampWard now understands what's going on, completely. HumWard also has a pretty good idea.

And so here is the question. Is it so unlikely that VampWard might be this selfish? He's looking at the possibility his wish is going to be granted, even though it's at the expense of a faceless stranger. Would he care more about himself than the kid he can't see?

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and please, keep them coming, okay? Let me know how I'm doing, if you like it, if you don't, if you're confused, or if you want to lease one of the two Edwards. The rates are reasonable.

Come play on the thread at Twilighted, in the forums under Alternate Universe. Btw, last I heard, Douglas was home with Books, and reminding her he's a free squirrel who can go anywhere he likes – even if it's to visit another fic ;-)

**Just a quick note. **

The Fandom Gives Back auctions start on Saturday, June 26th, and I'm going to be auctioning a futuretake of The Deluded. The winner will get to decide what it will be – Edward and Bella's lives in the future, or Eli's future with the young lady he just met - or anything else you'd like to see in the future world of these kind folks.

It's for a good cause – none better than to raise money for pediatric cancer research. Please bid well, bid often.

Thank you.

FM


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my plot, my universes, my journal, my lem... well, I should just let you read that part for yourself. **

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

_**Warning: This story is rated M for a reason, and that reason ain't just lemons.**_

**My apologies to you all. I know this is later than my usual weekly, but they've been making me work at work. Next week my boss is on vacation. No sneaking up behind me as I write. You haven't lived until...**_**  
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**Chapter 12**

_**EAM POV**_

It was another two hours before I finally closed the journal and locked it into my desk. Not another word came from him after I admitted to drinking the rabbit's blood. Why? Was it offensive to a vampire for me to consume the blood of an animal? Why did he just disappear like that without further comment?

Maybe the book stopped working? No, I didn't think that was the answer. So what's the key? Why did he shut up?

_What was it about my last statement?_ I mentioned I wasn't feeling well, I mentioned drinking the blood… _holy shit._

_No, it couldn't be. Could it?_

I unlocked the drawer and read back over the conversation. He never bragged about being a vampire – in fact, his comments made it sound like he didn't like what he was. _"Unfortunate."_ He repeated that a few times. Could it be... could I be turning into a vampire from this damned book? And if I'm turning into a vampire, is he turning into a human? If his... vampirism, or whatever you call it, was transferring to me, would that explain why he disappeared after I told him about the blood? Is he grateful for what's happening to me? Does he not give a shit as long as he gets less… vampire-like?

_Was this bastard stealing my humanity?_

I rubbed my eyes and read it again, trying to remember everything my parents taught me about scientific method. I was making lots of suppositions here, but damn, it felt right. But more importantly, how was I going to get answers if he wouldn't communicate?

I slipped the damned book under my t-shirt, unlocked my door, and stepped out into the hall. Heading straight for Alice's room I stopped in front of her door and knocked softly, checking the hallway to make sure the rest of the family wasn't disturbed. I had to let Alice know what was going on – this involved her, too. And maybe she had some ideas about how to approach this.

The door flew open, revealing Alice in pink silk pajamas with fluffy slippers on her feet and green goop all over her face. I squinted at her, and looked over her shoulder at the eye-burning brightness of pink and purple overwhelming every square inch of her room.

Well, _maybe_ she'd have some ideas…

"What?" she huffed, reaching up a hand to pick at the rubbery, gooey stuff.

I didn't know if I should laugh or vomit. "What the hell is that on your face?"

"None of your business. Did you come in here to ask me about my facial? Need one?" She smirked and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Uh, no." I slipped the book out from under my shirt. "I came in here to talk to you about this fucking thing."

She grimaced and shuffled over to her bed, plopping down, the pink pillows bouncing with her. The green stuff on her face was a startling contrast to the rest of her room, making all the colors seem to fluoresce. I closed my eyes as a wave of nausea rolled over me. Yeah, vomiting seemed to be the choice du jour.

"Shoot."

I opened my eyes and started to speak, but all I could see was the green goop. What the hell kind of facial was this? _'Yes m'ame, I'd like the Creature from the Black Lagoon' look, what do you recommend?'_

"Mind washing that stuff off your face first? You look like Lovecraft's description of Cthulu."

She squinted her eyes and opened her mouth to fire back at me, but instead surprised me when she started laughing and padded over to the bathroom.

"Keep using obscure literary references and I'll paint your toenails while you're asleep. What color do you think Bella might like?" she laughed.

"Lovecraft isn't obscure, he's one of the best…" but she shut the bathroom door before I could finish, leaving me alone in her room. I shook my head, we've had this argument before. My chest clenched as I remembered sitting in a small tent with my father, a small collection of Lovecraft paperbacks protected in a ziplock bag dug out of his backpack, explaining the odd language when I needed his help. Remembering my joy as I learned to sift through the archaic language, my wonder at this author's imagination...

I shook my head and came back to the present, ignoring the moisture in my eyes. Sitting on her bed, the book in my lap, I tried to think of the best way to telling Alice what's going on. _Fuck it –_ just let her read it for herself without my editing. The best way to get an objective opinion, right?

I was so lost in my thoughts I hadn't realized she'd returned until the bed dipped down and I saw, in my peripheral vision, a hand reach out – about to snatch the book off my lap.

"No!"

"Okay," she sighed. "Are you really certain touching it will hurt me more than I already am?"

I shook my head vehemently. "Absolutely not worth the risk, it's bad enough _I'm_ dealing with this." I opened the journal and placed it on the bed between us.

"Read, don't touch. Tell me when you need the page turned."

I watched Alice read, the expression on her face changing from mild boredom to astonishment. I turned pages for her, and when she was done she sat back and closed her eyes. I took the book and put it back on my lap, removing temptation from her busy little fingers.

"So what does this mean, Edward? You're the one who studied all that science stuff with your parents."

I threw up my hands. "I don't have a fucking clue, Alice. I mean, seriously, I don't think they cover shit like this in the latest issue of the Journal of Applied Physics," I huffed, pissed off about the whole shitting mess.

She looked like she was about to yell back, then changed her mind. Her eyes narrowed, and she started to play with the hem of her pajama shirt. "Do you think there's someone like me, too? Over there, wherever this Edward is? Do you think she's a vampire, too?" Her eyes grew wide. "Am I going to become a vampire?"

Damn, I hadn't thought of that. How far would this go for Alice? This made the torture of being stuck in the hospital while Carlisle poked and prodded at me seem like heaven. Could this kill us? Vampires were dead, right? _Undead? _I didn't fucking know.

Maybe it could hurt someone who touched us, too? _Bella?_ No, I would _not_ let anything happen to her. I'd destroy the damned thing first.

Hmm, what would happen if I destroyed it? Would all this just go away? Would I return to normal? Would Alice? Shit, the more I thought about it, the more confused I got, and the more I knew I needed to get rid of this thing.

I slid off the bed and onto the floor and opened the book to a blank page. I reached over and, taking the top of the page in my fingers, I gave it a small rip.

The last thing I heard was Alice's gasp.

_Air, no air. My chest felt like it was in a vice. I tried to take a deep breath but couldn't, there was no air to draw in. Panicking, a wave of dizziness hit and I reached out with my hands to keep myself from falling into the nothingness when I found myself grabbing onto something really hard, and really cold. I opened my eyes._

_A mirror? Was I looking in a mirror? My lungs started to burn and I could feel the terror build as I stared with fascination into a face that was mine, yet not. His eyes were opened wide; echoing my own shock as our eyes roamed over features that were the same yet different. His eyes, they were the amber eyes of the photo. His skin was deathly pale, his features a bit more sharp edged but they were still mine. My facial shape, bone structure, my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my chin, my jaw…_

_I opened my mouth to speak, but there was no air to speak with, nothing to suck into my lungs now burning, spasming, the pain radiating through my body but with the last of what I could manage, my last bit of control I mouthed a word at him…_

"_Edward?"_

"Wake up, Edward. Are you okay?" I was being pushed around, the bright light around me making my eyes tear in pain. I opened my mouth, making one last effort to breathe before I died when my lungs sucked in air, my ribcage expanding like a dying man drawing his last spasmodic breath, like a man coming up from the depths of the ocean. I took another deep breath, coughing, my head spinning, my heart pounding frantically.

"Oh my god, you're okay. Are you okay? _Fucking talk to me!"_

I squinted at Alice, taking another deep breath… _oh shit_. I curled into myself as another fit of hacking coughs hit my body. "No more tearing pages," I rasped, closing my eyes and willing my body to relax. I was safe. I think.

"What happened to you?"

"Huh?" What _did_ happen to me?

I staggered to my feet and stumbled over to her bed, almost falling onto it. "I don't know?" I tried to remember what it was like, aside from the whole no air thing.

"It felt like I was in some kind of void, some featureless space with no air, nothing to breath." I took a deep breath and coughed, my lungs still burning from being deprived of air for so long.

"But that wasn't all." I took a deep breath and looked at Alice. "There was someone else there with me. Alice, he looked like me, but he wasn't me. I think… I think it was the Edward, the vampire from the journal."

"How could that…"

I shook my head. "I haven't a fucking clue. I'm just glad I got out of there alive." I looked around at her ridiculous room. "I don't know how I got out at all."

Alice put her hand on her chin, deep in thought. "Is it possible you hallucinated?"

"No," shaking my head again. "Normally I'd say it's the best answer, but with everything else that's going on, I have to believe it really happened."

"Can tell me about the guy you saw."

What do I say? "Alice, he looked like me, I swear. I mean... hang on a minute, I'll be right back."

I grabbed the journal and ran to my room. In my desk drawer was the photo Alice took. _Shit,_ it was never a photo of me! I slid the journal back into the desk, locked it, and jogged back to her room, photo in hand.

"Remember this?" I said, handing it to her.

She glanced at it. "So? This is the picture I took of you and your clean room."

"Look again; look at the eye in the mirror."

I watched her eyes grow wide when she saw the color.

"I thought it was some kind of weird reflection that made my eye that color. But the man I just saw? That was the color of his eyes. That means..." I paused. "That means, Alice, this is a photo of him, not me."

She just kept staring at it, rubbing her forehead while she looked. "And he says he's a vampire?"

I nodded my head. "I think maybe that's what's wrong with me, that maybe I'm turning into what he is. For all I know, he's doing this to me purposely... I mean to us. Maybe if he can make me a vampire, he can be a human. It sounded like he really didn't like what he was.

"And what about Emmett? Carlisle and Esme? What about Bella? If I couldn't destroy the damned thing, what was I going to do?

'_We need to ask him questions.'_

I looked up at her. "What?"

"Huh?"

"Didn't you just suggest we ask questions?"

"No, Edward. But I was... I was thinking it." She tilted her head and grinned. "Reading minds now? That could come in handy."

Reading minds... was that a vampire trait? It would explain the constant noise in my head, and thinking that asshole Newton was saying things to me. Hmm... This really could have some advantages.

"I don't know, Alice. Maybe. For now, let's focus on that book, and the other Edward. We could come up with some questions to ask him, right?"

She started bouncing, nodding her head. "Grab the pen from my desk and we'll just start writing them down."

"He might not answer them. He got kinda quiet."

"Let's just put them in there, and see what happens? Even if it takes a while, it's worth a shot, right?"

I got the book from my room, sat at her desk and turned to a clean page, pen poised.

"By the way, did the rare meat help you?"

"Yeah, it did," she admitted. Taking a good look at her, I could see the shadows under her eyes had faded a little. "It's gonna be hard to make excuses for always eating that way, but I'm willing to give it a shot."

I nodded in agreement. "I'm taking Bella for a picnic on Saturday. I figured I'd bring sandwiches and stuff, and make sure I bring some rare roast beef for me."

"Are you going to tell her about all this?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, Alice. What about Jasper?"

She looked away from me, staring intently at the photo she was still holding. "I've been thinking that if I tell him what's going on, he can help me make excuses for eating dinner somewhere else, so I can eat something more..." She waved her hands. Yeah, I knew what she meant. I've been trying to come up with ways to accommodate my new dietary needs myself.

"Let's get started," she said, looking determined to get some answers.

"Just a few questions, okay? I don't think we should overwhelm him." I waited, pen posed.

"_**Do you have a sister named Alice?"**_

I wrote it, waiting for her next question.

"_**Can you read minds? Can all vampires read minds?"**_

I nodded. That was a good one.

"_**If you have a sister, does she have dreams about things that happen in the future?"**_

"_**How did you become a vampire?"**_

"_**How do you feed yourself and not get caught?"**_

I looked at her questions – she'd done a pretty good job of capturing enough for a good start.

"Okay, let's see if we can get him to answer them." I slammed the book closed, dropped her pen, and headed towards her door. "I'm going to bed. Hopefully not much more's gonna happen tonight. I'm beat"

Back in my room I took a deep breath, my lungs still burning. But again, in spite of so little fucking sleep the night before, my night was spent tossing and turning until the sun rose the next morning.

'*'

"Just a few more minutes, we're almost there."

I couldn't help but grin at her, in spite of her attempts to make me feel guilty for our long walk through the woods. Food packed into my backpack, all thoughts of the fucking book, and the vampire who won't answer my questions, set aside as I held her soft hand. We strolled as we savored the day, the rays of light streaming through the breaks in the forest canopy, the calls of various birds warning us away from their nests, or enticing each other for a romp through the cool green forest leaves. It reminded me of hikes with my parents as they pointed out flora and fauna with the ease of people who understood their place in the world and wanted to learn all they could, be a part of it, and encourage me to do the same. I missed them, but it helped to see how eager Bella was to learn, to share this part of me.

My musings ended as we cleared the last fallen log, and walked out of the deep woods and into the sun-filled clearing, a deep mountain-fed stream running through the middle, wild-flowers looking as if they'd been planted in natural bouquets dotting the ground, left to grow in spite of the grass chewed down to a soft carpet by the local herbivores. Her smile was a mile wide as her hand squeezed mine and then let go, spinning in place, taking in all there was to see.

"It's magnificent, Edward!" she exclaimed, trotting over to examine the flowers, and then to the river bank. She flopped to the ground and slipped off her shoes and socks, rolled up her pants and dipped her feet into the cool water.

"Nothing better for sweaty feet after a long hike," she laughed. "Come, join me."

Laughing, I ran over to the stream and sat down next to her, stripping my shoes and socks off as fast as I could, storing them a decent distance from her delicate nose, and dropped my feet into the water next to hers. It was fucking cold, but it felt incredible.

Reaching for my pack I pulled out bottles of water and wrapped sandwiches. "Food m'lady?"

Bella fluttered her hand by her throat and lifted her nose into the air. "If you please, kind sir," she giggled, then in a most unlady-like manner grabbed the food out of my hand. "I'm hungry as a horse after a walk like that."

We sat and talked while Bella ate her lunch and I discreetly picked the rare roast beef out from between the bread, the burning I always felt when I was around her temporarily relieved by the rich blood in the meat. Without the distraction of the burn, her scent swirled around me, the clean flowery scent of her hair competing with the wildflowers in the meadow. For the first time in a couple of days I stopped thinking about that damned journal and the other Edward, and allowed myself to relax. Well, most of me relaxed. Bella's presence, her beauty, her scent, everything she was in this gorgeous setting had my lust for her come back full force. I turned to the side to try to adjust myself discreetly, but it did nothing to stop the discomfort. Suddenly I felt as if my body was making up for days as my cock got harder than it had ever been in my life.

I sneaked quick glance at her, at her lithe body, her hair shining in the shimmering sun… and I reached over and touched it, surprised when Bella sighed, and pushed her head into my hand. I slipped my fingers down her neck, to her shoulder, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her close. She came to me, snuggling against my chest.

"Edward?" she whispered, slipping her arm around my waist and snuggling in tighter.

"Hmm?"

"How were you able to get past their deaths?" she asked in a small voice. "I miss Renee all the time."

I moved my hand down, rubbing her back softly. I wasn't sure how to answer, because I never really talked about it with anyone. "I don't know, Bella. I'd say time, but time doesn't really do it either." I shrugged. The truth was, I still wasn't over it, not by a long shot. I was only just starting to realize what a royal shit I've been to everyone around me. _Get past their deaths?_ I couldn't even see how that day would ever get here. But I didn't want to leave Bella feeling as hopeless as me.

"I think with time the pain starts to fade as you build new memories of new experiences." I took a deep breath. "But I don't think it never goes away completely."

I looked down at her at the same time she looked up, her gorgeous eyes locked to mine. I lowered my eyes to her lips, and watched the tip of her tongue come out, taking a slow swipe across them. Oh shit, I ached even more. I wanted her, I needed her.

"Bella, I... may I…" but before I could say another word she leaned forward and softly pressed her lips to mine.

I groaned and wrapped my other arm around her, falling to my back and pulling her on top of me, my hands slowly caressing her soft curves as I made my way down to her ass, sliding over her rounded bottom. She squirmed against me, first pushing her ass up into my hands and then shifting her hips and grinding and sliding against my throbbing cock.

"_Fucking shit,"_ I growled, running my hands up her narrow waist to her ribs, and without hesitation one hand went to her lower back while the other slid between us and gently molded itself to her plump breast, her rock hard nipple pushing through her clothes and into the center of my palm. My lips left her mouth and attached itself to her neck, her delicious blood pounding under my lips, driving me into a frenzy, the scent of her arousal all around us, overshadowing my desire for her blood as I pushed my hips up and slid against her pubic bone — shuddering when I heard her moan in pleasure. _Now, I had to have her now._ My hands dropped back down to her luscious ass and I grabbed her and squeezed, pushing her against me, my cock screaming for release. Bella panted and whimpered, her hands in my hair pulling my lips back to hers as she crashed her mouth to mine, her tongue plunging into my mouth as my raging hard-on stroked against her and

The skies opened.

"Holy shit!" she laughed, rolling off me, leaving me on my back with the rain hitting me right in the face. It was coming down so hard I had to close my eyes and shut my mouth to keep from drowning. I just stayed there, more in shock from the sensory switch of hot Bella in my arms to cold rain soaking me to the skin. I felt a hand grabbing mind and tugging.

"Get up, silly, before I'm performing CPR."

I sat up and let her pull me to my feet, waggling my eyebrows at her and reaching for her waist. "Is that a promise or a threat?"

"Oh, you," she laughed. "Come on, let's get out of here."

We ran back to the car, laughing, sliding in the mud, splashing through the forest puddles and somehow managed to make it back to the car without falling. I started it immediately and got the heat on high before we both got sick. I looked over at Bella, who was still grinning from ear to ear in spite of looking like a drenched cat. And of course, as soon as we made it back to the car, the rain stopped.

"We need to get you some dry clothes," I said, reaching over and running my hand over her wet hair. "I could sneak you into my room and give you something of mine?"

She shook her head. "No, that won't fly with Charlie, and I don't want him to know we were so far out in the woods together that we couldn't get back to your car before I got soaked." She paused, reaching up and grabbing my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine.

"If I can manage to sneak into _my_ room and back out again…"

"How?"

"There's a tree outside my window, and I know I left the window open. If I can get up that tree…"

"Are you out of your mind?" _She wanted to climb a tree just to get dry clothes?_

She looked dubious for a moment. "No, I'm not… but I don't want trouble with Charlie."

"I could try to go up and get them for you."

"Uh, no. You're not pawing through my things, thank you very much. Why don't we get there and then decide?"

It was a quiet drive back towards town, and her house. Now that the rain had stopped we could see stars as the clouds blew away, but leaving the air much colder than it normally was this time of year.

I parked about a quarter mile down the road from her house, and bracing ourselves, we stepped out into the chilly air and jogged toward the tree line, following it into her backyard.

"How the hell do you think we're going to do this?" I was looking at the tree that reached way beyond her second story window. We'd have to climb up, balance our way out onto a branch and leap through the open window.

"Uh, I don't know?" Bella was standing next to me, her gorgeous body shivering in the cold air. Fuck, I had to do something instead of watching her nipples harden in the breeze. _Although..._

"Are you good at holding on?"

"Why?" I could hear her teeth rattling.

I eyed the tree trunk, trying to come up with the best way to get a foothold on the first branch. Thankfully, the tree needed to be trimmed – the first good branch was only about five feet off the ground.

"If you can climb onto my back, wrap your arms around my neck and your feet around my waist, I think I can get you up there."

"No way. I'm too heavy."

"You're about the weight of a good back pack, and I did lots of steep mountain hiking with my parents. I think I can manage it if you can hold on."

Bella looked at me, at the tree, then up at her window and sighed. She walked behind me and stretched up and got her arms around my neck. I leaned forward so she could scoot up my back and wrap her long legs around my waist.

'_Stop thinking about her legs, stop thinking about her legs,'_ I chanted to myself, feeling my cock get ridiculously hard again in spite of the cold. Any harder and I could tell her to just hold onto my dick and not have to worry about falling.

"Be careful," she whispered into my ear just as I was reaching up to grab the first branch. I froze, my whole body shuddering from the sensation of her warm breath swirling around my ear.

"Bella…" I groaned. She giggled. Damn, better get this done fast before I slip her off my back and ravage her.

Reaching again, I grabbed the branch with both hands and pulled myself up, Bella hanging on my back. It was difficult, but not nearly as hard as I expected it would be. I managed to get a foot under me and stood straight, my hands already reaching for the next branch up. _Piece of cake._

I repeated the process – grabbing and pulling up, getting a foot on a branch and reaching for the next. It barely felt like she was on my back. It started to get easier, almost effortless as I moved fluidly through the tree until I reached my destination and was balanced directly outside her open window.

"Bella, I'm going to have to leap, but I don't think I can do it with you on my back." I started moving towards the trunk. "You're going to have to slide down and once your feet are on the limb you need to grab the trunk and hold it, okay?

"Yeah, okay," she whispered, her teeth chattering. I didn't know if it was from the cold or fear.

"Don't worry, I'll hold you until I know you're secure, okay?"

I felt her nod as she unwrapped her legs. Reaching up, I grabbed her hands around my neck, making sure she stayed secure until the last possible moment. I was fucking astonished by how good my balance was.

I heard her wet sneakers squeak as they bore her weight on the limb, and helped her back up towards the trunk. One by one her hands left my neck and wrapped themselves around the sturdy tree. I watched to make sure she looked secure, and turned and, without another thought, leaped for the window and landed quietly on the sill.

Turning around I beckoned. "Reach for my hand and inch across. I'll grab you. Don't worry, you won't fall. I won't let you."

She gave me a tentative smile and let go with one hand, reaching towards me. I stretched out my arm and took her hand, helping her balance as she walked out onto the branch, and at the last minute I stretched out my other arm, grabbed her waist, and holding her as tightly as I could I jumped backwards from the sill onto the floor of her room, a warm but shivering Bella in my arms.

Fuck, that was cool. I tipped her chin up so she's meet my eyes, and they were bright with excitement. Good, she wasn't frightened. Well, maybe not too much.

She let out a breath in a rush. "Damn, Edward. You're strong," she grinned, reaching behind to close the open window. "And it's awfully quiet in here. I don't hear the TV on downstairs."

"So?"

"So, Charlie always has the TV on unless he's asleep, and it's way too early for that." She padded over to the door and pressed her ear against it.

"Nothing, not a sound. Look, you stay here. I'm going to sneak downstairs and take a look."

"But he'll catch you. I mean, wasn't that the whole point of the whole tree climbing business?"

"You underestimate me," she laughed softly. "I sneak downstairs all the time. Sit quietly at my desk, I'll be right back." Before I could say another word she slipped out her bedroom door, closing it behind her.

Shrugging, I sat down at her desk, mindful of how wet my clothes were. Looking around, I noticed that with the exception of her bookcase, her room was far more spartan than mine. Maybe she didn't need much, but maybe I had lots of stuff I never bothered appreciating. Carlisle made good money, even better than my parents did, and so I just thought he gave me the stuff he did because he could. But maybe there was more to it? Looking around and realizing how little Bella had as a result of living on a cop's salary, I felt dirty in some way - like a conspicuous consumer who didn't even appreciate what he had, or the fact there might be thought and compassion behind someone giving it to me.

But I didn't want to think about that now.

I turned to the window and stared at the tree outside the glass. That was so damned cool, I've _never_ felt that strong. I mean, there wasn't even a moment when I was afraid I'd drop her or lose my balance. I felt like a mountain lion scaling that damned tree, dancing on the branch and hopping right into her window. I'm not clumsy, but I've never been like this. Could this be one of the vampire traits? Maybe it's not all bad…

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the door open, and then Bella slipped in, a huge smile on her face.

"Everything okay?" I asked, puzzled by her smile.

She moved towards the bed and started to sit and stopped herself abruptly, looking down and remembering she was soaking wet. "He's not home."

"What?"

"Yup, gone for the night. He was called into the station to cover the graveyard shift." She started giggling. "I guess we didn't need to do our acrobatics, after all."

"We could have walked in the front door?"

"Yup. But hey, wasn't climbing the tree more fun?" She grinned at me, and took a step closer.

I matched her step, reaching for her. And then I remembered. I stared at Bella, shivering slightly in her wet clothes clinging to her beautiful body. If I thought I was hard before…

"You're going to be home alone, all night?"

She nodded her head, a twinkle in her eyes. _Holy shit._

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

"You can't just ignore him."

I'd taken the journal from the table where Alice was examining it, and placed it back on the desk. She was right, I couldn't ignore him, but right now I was too focused on the new world that might be opening in front of me.

"I don't intend to just disregard him," I shot back, my hand running through my hair. "But think about it Alice. If I could be human again, if _you_ could be human again…"

She shrugged. "I don't hate what I am. Maybe it's because I don't remember being human, maybe it's because I've made a damned good life out of what I am. And what about Jasper? He means far more to me than reverting to something I don't even remember being."

"But what about Bella?" I shot back. "If I could be human for her…"

"At what cost? At the expense of someone else? An innocent?"

"Someone I don't know, who doesn't exist here? For all I know, maybe he'd like…"

_Black. Everything was black around me. No up, no down. My senses sprang into high alert but I could see nothing, could feel nothing. It was a void, a lightless, airless void. I tried to hold down my panic. What the hell had happened?_

_And then I felt it, something grabbing onto me. My first instinct was to attack but a face appeared, floating out of the velvet blackness. My face, but not my face. Rounder, softer… With green eyes?_

_He was staring at me, the shock on his face mirroring my own. And he was gasping – there was no air here, he needed air even if I didn't. Who was this? Where am I? It can't possibly be…_

_His grip tightened, his eyes looked desperate as he tried to mouth something._

"_Edward."_

The bright lights of my room assaulted me, actually hurting my eyes. I looked around – Alice was sitting on the floor, hovering over me – her face frozen in shock

"What happened?"

I shook my head. "I don't know," I rasped, "but I think I saw him."

"Him?"

"The kid, the human. The Edward from the other universe." I thought about where I had been, the void. "A place between universes?" I conjectured. "Maybe, I'm not sure." _Why? Why now?_

I stood up and grabbed the journal from the desk, and my fingers immediately noticing the slight irregularity on the edge of the paper. I thumbed through and found a blank page with a small rip at the top.

I showed it to Alice. "This wasn't there before."

"How did it get ripped?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know."

"Maybe he doesn't want whatever is happening to him. Maybe he tried to destroy it."

I stared at the book in my hands. Maybe he was being hurt by it. Maybe he was a young boy finding he was changing with no one around to guide him. Maybe he didn't want this anymore than I did. I remembered his face, so much like mine, and the stark terror in his eyes.

I ran my hand over my face. What have I been thinking? _How could I do this to anyone else?_

'*'

"It's much too quiet in here."

Isabella was standing next to her bedroom door with her ear pressed against it, a look of fierce concentration on her face. "It's never this quiet; he always has the TV on."

I was trying to ignore the fact I was in a woman's boudoir, alone with that woman with her father downstairs. It's not as if he could harm me physically, but I didn't want anything to happen that might damage his opinion of me – and standing in his daughter's bedroom, both of us soaked from the rain, would do nothing to heighten his opinion of the man courting his most precious possession.

"Hang on, I'm going to check what's going on."

"Bella, it defeats the purpose of my carrying you up a tree and into your window if you walk downstairs and announce your presence."

"Pshaw, I've done this before. He'll never know I'm there."

Before I could protest, she was out the door, closing it behind her.

I carefully sat on the old wooden chair by her desk, and glanced around at the dingy little room. One future day this lovely woman would have everything she wanted, anything she desired, and would no longer be required to live in such squalor. Well, truthfully, it was neat and organized, but I wanted her to have a large desk, a full library instead of the simple bookcase, a large and luxurious bed… _Bed._ _Bella on the bed, her hair floating on the linens around her, her body open and waiting…_ I looked away, trying to ignore my shudder as a wave of excruciating arousal flashed through my body.

I'd spent the last few days ignoring the journal as I tried to reconcile myself with what I had to do. At the very least, I needed to try to guide this young man – this human version of myself. And my moral compass could no longer be ignored. As much as it conflicted with my deepest desires, we would need to work together to try to find a way to stop the transitioning that appeared to be occurring between us. We might not be successful, but Alice was right — I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't attempt to halt the progress of this poor boy's change.

But ignoring it wasn't easy. I kept the accursed book locked in its chest; its presence a constant on my mind, reminiscent of The Tell-Tale Heart pounding under the floorboards of Poe's poor victim. But until I screwed together my courage, until I could approach him with full honesty, forthright in my decision, I preferred not to know if he'd tried additional communication with me. I simply needed some time.

But for now my thoughts were overwhelmed with the relentless demands of my body, and the allure of the woman who did not yet know she was my mate. I turned from the bed just as I heard Isabella coming up the stairs, moving with far less stealth than she had before. The door opened and she stepped through, leaving it open and smiling brightly at me.

"We didn't need to sneak in through the window. He's not home."

"Excuse me?" The unexpected news stunned me, shooting right to my groin, my erection hearing her before my ears did. Thankful my shirt tails covered me, I was desperate to find a way to discreetly adjust myself.

She waved a note at me. "Seems he was called in to cover the graveyard shift. He won't be back until mid-morning, at the earliest."

I stared at her, wide-eyed, the implications of what she said over-taking what little remained of my higher-order thinking skills. _We were alone?_

"Uh, we're alone?"

Isabella took a step closer to me, and reached her hand up, stroking my cheek with her soft fingers. "Yes, Edward. We're alone. All night." She dropped her hand to my wet shirt, and started working on the first button.

I reached up and grabbed her hand. "Are you certain of this; are you certain you want me here?"

She lifted her other hand and continued what I'd stopped. "As certain as I've ever been of anything." She'd managed to open the top button but then took her warm fingers and traced my lips.

"I love you, Edward."

I froze as her words filtered into my brain. _She loved me?_ _She. Loved. Me?_ I've walked this Earth since 1901, never knowing what I was missing, feeling complete until this woman stumbled into my life. I knew I was bonded to her but that was the nature of my kind. _But for Isabella to declare herself to me?_ My mate... my love... I trembled as I reached for her, my hand sliding down the downy, soft skin of her cheek, across her jaw and then wrapping itself around the back of her neck, silky hair sliding through my fingers.

"I love you, Isabella. I think I've loved you since the first day I saw you." I bent down as I gently pulled her to me, my eyes shifting between her gaze and her lips. I drew her closer, and brushed my mouth against her hot, soft, moist lips. "And I will never love another," I whispered as I covered her lips with mine, wrapping an arm around her lower back and pulling her into me.

She gasped into my mouth as her hands left my shirt and wrapped around my neck, pushing the entire length of her hot body into mine, curves meeting curves, fitting together as if we were made for each other, our wet clothes adding to the friction from our every move. I opened my mouth and carefully drew her bottom lip between mine, mindful of my teeth while I tasted her plump lip, inhaled her hot breath into my lungs, her essence entering me, filling me. I could feel the vibrations rattling my chest, my need to take, to possess trying to overwhelm me.

"You're purring again," she whispered against my cheek, her fingers dropping from my hair and to the bottom of her shirt, grasping it and pulling it over her head. Her long, wet hair whipped around her head as the shirt came off, gathering to one shoulder, exposing her long neck, her creamy shoulder, her heaving breast – hard nipples dark and puckered against the translucence of her white satin brassiere. I couldn't take my eyes off them as my fingertip grazed the exposed silken skin of her neck, over her shoulder, to the valley between her gorgeous breasts.

Isabella reached behind her back and unclasped her brassiere, letting the straps fall down her shoulders, peeling the soft material from its loving hold on her beautiful body, fluttering to the floor between us — exposing herself to me. Her skin glowed with moisture from the dampness of her clothes, her nipples grew even harder when the cool air hit her wet skin, her breasts seemed to rise and fall on their own with every breath drawn... enticing me. Calling to me.

And I answered that call by dropping to my knees, my lips grazing the underside of each perfect breast, inhaling her sweetness, my tongue tasting her skin, circling each nipple, hands sliding gently around her waist while wrapping my lips around one rosy peak and drawing it into my mouth, sucking as gently as I could, taking nourishment for my soul from the complex taste of her body, a body designed and created for me.

Isabella moaned and grabbed my head, her hot fingers threading into my hair, scratching against my scalp, pushing me closer, nurturing me with her body. I needed to see her, I needed to see all of this Venus, this Aphrodite risen to entice me, to take me, to make me hers. Sliding my hands down her back I circled around her waist to her soft stomach, flicked open the button on her jeans, lowered the zipper and with one bold move I lowered her pants and undergarments together, sliding them down her long and shapely legs. Isabella held onto my head, moaning into the still air of her room while I lifted each foot, removing her shoes, peeling her socks from each delicate foot, and slipping her jeans off until she was completely bare, nude yet clothed in her perfection, standing before me as the embodiment of all things beautiful, of all things sensual.

I leaned back, hesitant to touch I caressed her body with my eyes, taking in the slope of her waist leading to the delicate flare of her hips, across her flat stomach and down, down to the essence of her womanhood, her thighs – her skin gleaming, her body trembling...

"Are you cold?" I asked, now desperate to touch, afraid my cold hands would be more than she could tolerate.

"No," she whispered, grabbing my hands and bringing them to her waist. I watched her skin flush, I watched the path of her blood rise to the surface as it started with her face and then moved down her neck, to her chest, her respiration increasing as the scent of her arousal filled the room. "I'm trembling with desire. I'm trembling with need. I want you, Edward." Her hands dropped down to my shirt, shaking fingers opening buttons. "I want you to take me, take me now."

It was no longer a purr, and I could no longer control it. Growling, buttons scattered as I ripped off my shirt, the sound of them flying through the room the only thing bringing me back to enough reality to not destroy my jeans in my haste to remove them, to give Isabella what she wanted – her needs outweighing my desire, enhancing my desire. Within moments I was standing before her, my arms reaching for her, my body standing as my offering to her beauty as we both, almost timidly, came together in the silence of a small room, in the privacy of a small house, our skin touching, our skin melding together, our mouths seeking each others out, our hands roaming – feeling, acquainting, enticing, arousing, loving.

"Come," she murmured against my mouth, leading me towards her small bed. I scooped her up and set her down on her back, her breasts calling to me again as I peppered kisses over each equally, my hands sliding over the rest of her curves, the satin skin. She moaned, she gasped, her back arching, her eyes closed, her hair spilling around her pillow, her reddened lips calling my name. Her scent was everywhere, my mouth leaving the glory of her breasts and travelling over every inch of her skin, roaming lower, looking for the paradise between her thighs, the source of her strongest essence, the place I most needed to be.

I felt her hands slide along my chest, my shoulders, back into my hair, caressing my neck. Her trembling grew stronger, her legs moving on their own, whispering against the blanket, her arousal overwhelming me as I opened my eyes and saw the glittering dewdrops signaling her readiness. My hand wanted to touch, yet I needed her permission. I raised my head and found her eyes wide, her lips open and panting, and with the faint nod of her head I grazed my finger through her most hidden of secrets, her back arching as I made contact, her head thrown back as she whimpered my name.

"No more waiting, I'm ready for you, Edward." She moaned, her legs spreading open in invitation. A violent shudder ran though my body, my erection throbbed with need, painfully reaching for her, needing to feel her heat, to take, to possess, to mate.

With just enough rational function left I grabbed her by the waist and flipped her on top of me, her breasts falling against me, my need overwhelming me, my mind fogging – trying to hold on so this hurt her as little as possible, so _I_ hurt her as little as possible.

"For the first time, Isabella... you control it, please. Let me learn your body so I don't hurt you, I fear I will no matter what."

She leaned down and rubbed her hard nipples against my chest, her legs opening and straddling my hips, her wetness coating me, sliding against me, her lips enveloping me, the heat burning me. Her hot mouth planted itself on my neck, and her hot hand wrapped around my erection.

"Oh god," I cried, my back arching up, as she took me in hand and guided me to her entrance, and with her body trembling and her arms wrapped tightly around me she slid me into her wetness, her tightness, her heat... slowly but with no hesitation... just the slightest wince as I took her maidenhead, sliding me the rest of the way in... and stopped.

Holding still, her lungs gasping for air, my body wracked with need, I took her head in my hands and tipped her face to mine. Her eyes were open – startled, dilated, and softened with love.

"I love you, Edward," she murmured, her hand leaving its death grip around my neck and fingers tracing my lips.

Lost in her eyes, my palms slid over the perfect mounds of her delicious bottom. "Are you okay, my love?"

She nodded and kissed my chest, my body quaking under the touch of her lips, wrapped within her warmth, my need to move within her overwhelming what little was left of my mind.

"I love you, Isabella. I will love you forever," I vowed as I slid out slightly, and then gently back, the sensation exploding through me, her moan driving me as I tenderly took her, made her mine, giving her everything I had to give - giving her my heart, giving her my mind, giving her my soul.

'*'

Curled in my arms, mindless of the chill of my body, Isabella slept. The scent of her room burned into my memory for all time, the perfection of this woman seared into my being. I held her and closed my eyes, nuzzling into the sweet fragrance of her hair, reliving every moment of the beauty of our innocence given to each other, sighing as I thought of each gasp, each moan, each giggle as we made sweet love.

My thoughts slowed, drifted, my muscles relaxed, my body sank into her bed as I snuggled into her warmth and let the world slowly fade around me.

* * *

**A/N**

Sigh, I knew they'd get there. Fear not for HumanWard. Last we left him, he was standing in Bella's room, the same realization in his head, the same problem in his jeans.

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and please, keep them coming, okay? Let me know how I'm doing, if you like it, if you don't, if you're confused.

The Edwards are pretty solidly booked, but there are wait-list openings in case of cancellations. Yeah, right. *snort*

Come play on the thread at Twilighted, in the forums under Alternate Universe.

**Just a quick note. **

The Fandom Gives Back auctions are now underway, and I'm auctioning a futuretake of The Deluded. The winner will get to decide what it will be – Edward and Bella's lives in the future, or Eli's future with the young lady he just met - or anything else you'd like to see in the future world of these kind folks.

It's for a good cause – none better than to raise money for pediatric cancer research.

Please bid well, bid often, and remember it's for the kids. The site is www . thefandomgivesback . com – removing the extra spaces around the dots.

Thank you.

FM


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my plot, my universes, my journal, my wet clothes...**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

_**This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. **_

_**Warning: This story is rated M for a reason, and that reason ain't just lemons.**_

**My apologies again. Boss went on vacation, but so did a coworker who I typically cover. In other words, not a moment to myself.**

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* * *

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**Chapter 13**

_**EAM POV**_

Bella stood before me, her chest heaving as hard as mine, her breasts rising with each lungful of air, her cold nipples straining through her thin, wet shirt, my dick straining towards her nipples as they called it home.

"Bella, I..." I stuttered, my body and brain at war and rapidly losing to the hormones flooding them both. I was raised to be a gentleman, but I knew even my mother and father would recognize a losing battle when they saw one. And then she stepped over to me, the heat from her skin radiating through her wet clothes, and stroking mine.

Wet clothes. I shook my head, trying to scatter the single-minded lust that was clouding my eyes. She was going to get sick.

"Bella," I managed to rasp out, "you need to change into dry clothes." Her eyes opened wide and startled as if she was coming out of the same dream that was towing me under, and nodded her head. She turned her back to me and, with a deep breath she brought her shaking fingers to the hem of her wet shirt and peeled the garment off her body. _Holy fucking shit._

_Should I leave?_ "Bella, do you want me to..."

"No," she whispered, the knotted muscles in her back flexing as the flung the dripping shirt into the corner, her wet hair falling down her back, between her shoulder blades. She had a small mole on the right side of her lower back, and I wanted to taste it as my hands slid over the smooth, flawless skin of her waist. I wanted to see if the mole tasted different than the rest of her. I wanted to turn her around and taste her nipples. I wanted to lower my head to her belly and taste her navel. I wanted to...oh shit I wanted to...

And that's when two lovely and well-formed hands reached around her back and, taking the clasp of her bra between her fingers unhooked it, and let it drop to the floor in front of her. And before I could even find enough of my mind to react she took a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling with it, and I heard the sound of a zipper and before my eyes her wet jeans, with light blue panties, translucent with rain, slid down her hips until they reached the floor, a foot kicking them into the corner with the rest of her wet clothes. And Bella was still in front of me, her back turned to me, her body shivering from cold and nerves, as naked as the day she was born.

My words were gone, I couldn't have uttered a sound if I tried, but that didn't stop my eyes from taking in the skin suddenly on view, how narrow her waist was, how round her ass was, two small dimples at the top calling for my lips. Her slim legs that appeared even longer as my eyes grazed down her thighs, to the defined muscles at the back of her knees, to her shapely calf that drew my eyes down to her slim ankles. If I could think at that moment I'd have realized I was about two seconds away from cumming in my pants.

And then I felt it. _Oh fucking Chr..._ I tore my eyes away from her body and tried to find a way to calm my own. But I had no time, because the most beautiful girl in the world was standing in front of me, naked and shivering, and waiting. Running complex sonatas through my head I took a step towards her and let my fingers slide through her hair, smoothing it against her back, down to her waist, her clean scent accentuated by the rainwater enveloping me. And before I could stop I closed my eyes, and trying to offer her some reassurance that I respected her modesty and nerves, I wrapped my arms around her waist, sliding it over that silken skin, and drew her close to me – keeping space between that luscious ass and my dick because it did suddenly occur to me I wasn't going to make it before my jeans left my body.

I kissed her shoulder, tasting that fine skin, my tongue slipping out to lick her and hoping she didn't think is was gross. She shivered, goose-bumps raised the skin under my hand and I knew, I just knew her nipples would be hard as rocks if I could get up the nerve to just slide my hands up. And then she did it. She leaned back, her ass making contact with my rock-hard dick while she sighed, grabbing my two hands and trembling, still facing away from me, our shaking hands slid up to her breasts, my palms making contact with soft skin, firm breasts, fucking hard nipples. And she shuddered into me, sank deeper into me, took her hands off mine and moaned.

That was it, my hands tightening on her breasts without thinking, squeezing them in my hands, hoping it was okay, that I wasn't hurting her when her moans got louder and her back arched and she pushed them further into my hands, giving me permission. Oh fuck, she was gorgeous, and I didn't have a clue what to do.

"Bella," I breathed into her neck, my hands living a life of their own, cherishing her, exploring her. "Bella, I've never..."

"Neither have I," she moaned. "But I want this, I want you, if, that is, if you..." Suddenly she leaned away, my cock immediately missing the lovely heat of her ass as she stood up straight, her head bowed. I could feel the heat in her skin increase, a tinge of red sliding down her shoulders. Bella was blushing. What the fuck, she thought I didn't want her?

"Oh shit, Bella." My hands slid from her breasts and back down to her stomach, it's softness calling to me almost as much as her amazing tits. "You think I don't want you?" I whispered into her neck, kissing her again. "You have no idea how insanely gorgeous you are. I'm just afraid... I've never done anything like this before." There, I said it.

Her shoulders hunched for a moment, and then she leaned back into me again, my cock dancing with the joy over the return of her warmth.

"Can we learn together?" she said, her voice tiny and trembling. _Oh fuck_.

I spun her around, my eyes glued to hers, and leaned down and kissed her soft lips, softly sucking that plump bottom lip into my mouth, trying to ignore my hands now wrapped around the taught muscles of her lower back, trying to keep them from moving lower and feeling the round firmness of her ass, trying to ignore two breasts now pressed against my chest, trying to ignore her nipples getting even harder as they reacted to the wet shirt I was still wearing. Oh shit, I let her get naked in front of me and I was still dressed?

Keeping my eyes on her face I pushed her back just enough to get my hands between us to unbutton my shirt, doing it without looking, dying to touch her breasts while at the same time do anything I could to avoid touching them. My shirt off, she reached a hand over and glided it across my chest, and I couldn't stop my moan. And then her hands went lower, to the button of my jeans – hesitant, I saw her fingers approach the zipper yet at the same time really tentative about touching what was pressing so forcefully behind it. I leaned over and captured her lips for a slow kiss, lowered my zipper and pushed my jeans and boxers down to my ankles, kicking them into the corner to join hers. I was naked in front of her, tempted to cross my hands in front of my crotch when she grabbed my hands and pulled them apart, and I watched her blush deepen as she released me and gently grazed my throbbing erection. Still holding her eyes with mine, I reached forward and slowly stroked her breast, my thumb just sliding along her still very hard nipple and she whimpered, wrapping her soft hand around me and gliding it over my aching cock. My eyes rolled back in my head, desperate to think of anything so I didn't lose it right then and there, trying not to think about her tight, and wet, and hot, and around me and...

_Oh fucking Jesus holy shit, how could I have forgotten?_

I stepped back, gasping. "Bella, I don't have protection, I don't have a condom!" I started to turn away from her, gasping for breath and trying to fight both my embarrassment and the raging hard-on slapping against my stomach.

"It's okay, Edward. I'm on the pill."

I whipped around to see her smiling in spite of her blush. "Seriously?"

She nodded. "Yeah, Renee got me started a couple of years ago." She shrugged and looked down. "Not like I needed it, but she was so scared of me following in her footsteps and having a baby when I was too young, it was worth it to just take them and shut her up." She frowned. "I didn't mean that to sound so mean..."

"No, no, you're not. Not at all." I put my arms around her, waiting for her to object and pull back and when she didn't, I pulled her in tighter. "It's kind of tempting to make them saints after they... you know. But they're not, Bella. Maybe that was the hardest lesson to learn in trying to deal with this." I pulled back and looked into her eyes, shining with unshed tears. "They were human, they were good people, and that's the part that's important." I pulled her back to me, my face buried in her neck.

"And we loved them... just like I love you," I said so softly I didn't think she'd be able to hear me. But I knew she did when I heard the gasp. Her head came up and she looked at me, searching my face for something, and then she smiled, stepping backwards towards her bed, bringing me with her, holding my hands until she was sitting and I was kneeling in front of her, my eyes directly in front of the most amazing tits I could ever imagine while trying to keep my focus on her face.

"I love you too, Edward." She leaned forward and kissed me. "I'd like to make love to you. Can we try?"

She wasn't going to have to ask me twice.

'********'

* * *

_**EAMC POV**_

I could feel the frigid dampness coating my skin, the breeze carrying the fog to me, bathing me in it, anointing me, disappointed my breath wasn't warm so I could see the crystalline droplets pass from between my lips only to join themselves with the fog — forever anonymous. The ground under my feet felt springy with vegetation, the mild aroma of the heather working its way into the air, into the fog, into my lungs. Drawing in a deep breath my nostrils flared as the scent of something vaguely familiar tensed my body, my senses on alert, my eyes scanning through the dark countryside for its source.

There, at the top of the hill stood a woman, turned away from me. Her thick dark hair fell in waves down her back, undulating with the breeze, revealing its true and startling length each time the wind abated, its caresses smoothing the lustrous mane along her back as the curling tips kissed her rounded bottom. She was dressed in some diaphanous material, clinging to her exotic curves with the slightest hint of breeze. I walked towards her, my breathing more rapid the closer I got. I knew her, I knew that scent. Her body seemed familiar – as if I knew that ripeness yet didn't – but I wanted to feel it, wanted to run my palms over her, feel the erotic lines of her under my hand. The moors keened a song in the wind, the heather a carpet under my feet — my marriage bed as I reached for her, my hands skimming through the heavy silk of her hair, my hand touching her shoulder and gently turning her around.

It was her face, yet it wasn't her face. Her lips more voluptuous, dark and plump and begging for a taste, her cheekbones more prominent, sculpting her face into a work of art, her long dark lashes fanning against them. I ran my hand over the satin skin of her jaw, and to her temple, my fingers gently twisting into her hair as I pulled it back and raised her head to mine.

She sighed and drew her arms around me, her body trembling, the erotic scent of her womanhood rising between us as she tilted her head and with a flutter, opened her eyes. And as she broke into a smile, teeth gleaming in the hint of moonlight she turned her face up to mine as I stared into the brilliant ruby jewels of her eyes.

"NO!" I screamed. _"No, Isabella, no!"_

"Edward? Edward wake up, wake up now – please sweetheart. Come back to me!"

My eyes flew open, and I was staring into a pair of dark brown irises. _Isabella?_ Oh thank heavens it was... it was a dream?

I looked around me, at her room, at Isabella's face above me etched with worry, twisting her fingers in her lap, biting at her lip. A dream? I had a dream? Does that mean I was...

"Isabella, did I fall asleep?" She nodded her head, still chewing her lip.

"I couldn't have, I can't sleep."

She chuckled. "Could have fooled me. Last I heard was your snoring before I feel asleep myself."

"I don't snore."

"Then you were doing an award-winning imitation of it."

Could it be? Truly? I'm able to sleep? I had a dream? The first dream since I was human?

The dream came rushing back to me. Isabella was a vampire, a newborn. I shook my head and sat up quickly, making a grab for her before I knocked her off the bed. Unfortunately, when I grabbed her she could feel my trembling hands.

"What's wrong? What was the dream about?"

I shook my head, desperate to get rid of the image. "You were a vampire."

She stared at me, chewing on her lip, her brow drawn, deep in thought. "How does someone become a vampire?"

I should have kept my mouth shut. I narrowed my eyes and glared at her, hoping she'd understand this discussion wasn't going to happen. "Very painfully, Isabella. You have no idea."

She jutted her chin out and glared right back at me. It was the first time I'd seen her angry and although a part of me was horrified that I said anything to upset her, a larger part of me was willing to fight this point to the death.

"You won't even discuss it with me?"

"Isabella, I'm a monster. I'm unnatural. Is that what you want to be? I most assuredly do not want to sentence you to an eternity of… this."

"I think I'm capable of making my own decisions about 'this,'" she hissed, her face flushing with anger. "I'm asking for information, that's all. If you won't tell me I'm certain Alice will."

"Don't you dare…"

"Do not tell me what I dare, Edward. I may love you, but you are not my keeper. Of course, if what you said was nothing more than bullshit to get into my pants…"

_What? How could she even think that?_

"Isabella, I love you, I love you with everything I am… please. Please don't ever think that's anything but the truth." I slid off the bed and got down onto my knees, taking her hands. "Please just understand this is something I'd never wish on anyone."

She took a deep breath and stared deep into my eyes. "Edward, sometimes I think it's more a question of how you see yourself than what you truly are. I do want answers, but I'll wait for you to give them to me, okay? It doesn't need to be right now, but promise you will?"

She was right. I couldn't, and shouldn't hide my nature – any aspect of it. But I needed time.

I nodded. "Another time, just not right now, okay? Not after…not after the most astonishing experience in all my existence."

Her eyes softened and she slid her hands up my arms to the back of my neck, inviting me to draw closer. "And of mine. I'm sorry I pushed this right now." She leaned forward and softly pressed her lips against mine, and without even thinking about it my body reacted to her, the arousal so sudden and so complete it was almost painful. So much for assuming experience would allow me more opportunity to control this.

But I know she had to be uncomfortable, and looking at the rising sun, did not want to risk the return of her father.

"Isabella, I need to leave."

"I know," she murmured against my neck, her tongue tasting my skin and driving me insane. I buried my face in her neck, the heat of her skin burning against my face, her pulse alive beneath my lips, calling to me but not for her blood, but for the throbbing of her sex around me. Dear lord I didn't want to go, not even for a moment.

"Hmm, Isabella, we can't risk more now. I want your father to like me, not attempt to shoot me," I whispered, smiling at her giggles. I just remembered, tomorrow would be Sunday, and the plans I had.

"Sweetheart, would you like to come to my house tomorrow and meet the rest of the family? We've planned a baseball game for the afternoon. Would you care to watch? Cheer me on, perhaps?"

"As long as you don't plan for me to play against vampires," she laughed, "I'd love to join you." She stopped, frowning a bit. "Do you think the rest of the family will like me?"

What an absurd notion. "Isabella, there is no question in my mind. Not only because of who you are, but because of what you've done for me."

"You're not going to tell them about...uh..."

"No, of course not." I gazed at her beautiful eyes and kissed her soft lips. "They're going to love you because you've brought me back to life."

As I walked through the door my thoughts were so thoroughly consumed with the events of the evening that I didn't hear, smell, or see the entire family sitting in the living room as I headed towards the stairs. What finally woke me from my erotic dreams was the collective gasp of Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Esme. My head flew up to see nothing but wide eyes, Alice holding her head in her hands and grimacing.

"What?"

"Edward," Esme whispered. "What's on your face?"

_My face?_ I reached a hand up to rub off whatever dirt seemed to have them all at the point of apoplexy when my hand brushed against the stubble on my jaw. The number of hours since I'd last shaved ran through my head. Then it struck me that this was an excellent opportunity to start practicing the use of expletives.

"Uh, Esme, ummm..."

"You have whiskers?" Jasper said, his eyes running over my face in awe. "You can grow a beard?"

I had no clue how to answer him. Looking over at Rosalie, and focusing on her thoughts, I heard the gears grinding, the connections being made. Yes, expletives seemed like a great idea right now.

"How, Edward," she demanded, her voice taking on an even sharper edge than usual. I looked over at Carlisle for support, but he simply shrugged his shoulders. He was right, there was no easy way out of this. I walked into the room and took the chair in the farthest corner, the entire family, save Carlisle and Alice, turned to face me, waiting for my explanation

"A number of weeks ago I procured a very old journal in a bookshop in Port Angeles. I've only recently discovered the journal can also be accessed by a human who appears to be my counterpart, although he's only 18 years old."

At the word 'human' I saw Rosalie's eyes light up. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know where her thoughts were going.

"Through experimentation, I've concluded this human exists in a universe parallel to our own." I took in their raised eyebrows and shrugged. "We're vampires, I find it hard to feel too surprised at anything that doesn't fit into a normal world-view." Heads nodded, it was hard to argue with that.

"Anyway, it would also appear that handling the journal has resulted in some... superficial changes in me. Unfortunately, the young human appears to be affected as well."

Rosalie stood and stomped over to where I was sitting, glaring down at me and doing what she's attempted to do for decades without success – intimidate me. This time would be no more fruitful for her.

I ignored her. "Alice has also handled the journal, although not as much as I. It's resulted in a lessening in her ability for precognition." They all turned to her, and she nodded, snuggling into Jasper's side.

"There have been no other effects," she offered, "with the exception of finding some human food actually smells good." She nodded at me. "It would seem Edward has been hit the hardest."

"Spell it out," Rosalie demanded. I rolled my eyes and gave her the same bored look I'd perfected all these torturous years of having her around, but there was no longer any reason not to give the details to the others.

"The most obvious, you've just seen – my beard has started growing. So has the hair on my head. Just like Alice, I've been finding human food to be tempting, and have actually eaten some."

Carlisle leaned forward, elbows on knees. "How did that work out?"

I grimaced. "As you'd expect. I might enjoy the taste, but my basic biology hasn't changed. I can digest it no better than you could.

"I've noticed a reduction in strength and speed," I continued, "and the ability to hear the thoughts of others now requires concentration and focus. To be honest, that's been the most comforting of the changes.

"Because I'm somehow linked to this 18 year old human, I've also been dealing with his raging hormones, which has created some... discomfort since I appear to have found my mate at the same time."

"That human girl?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes." I looked at Carlisle again. "And one other thing has happened." I swallowed and looked down at my hands. He had to know, if for no other reason than it made me vulnerable in a way I'd never been. "I fell asleep this evening, I actually dreamed."

I didn't have to look up at Rosalie to see the smile on her face, her mind full of thoughts of longing, of triumph, of joy, of acquisition.

"No Rosalie, I'm not giving it to you."

"You have no right, Edward! Right here, in your possession, you have the means to..."

"No." I looked at her, the greed being the most powerful emotion shining through her eyes, but underneath I could see the hope for something she'd wanted ever since she came into this life.

"First, there's been no basic change to my physiology, so it may not buy you what you think you'll get from it. I'm still a vampire, I still require blood to survive. The changes are relatively minor and although they may remind me of what I lost from my human years, they're not enough to actually make me human. Venom, not blood, flows through my veins.

"At first I was as tempted as you are. You know as well as anyone in this family what I'd give to be human again. But I fear that's not what will happen to me – that instead I'll simply weaken, neither vampire nor human. Sleep may sound like a wonderful idea, but in reality it makes me more vulnerable to the rest of our kind.

"But more than anything else, Rosalie," I scrubbed my hand over my face and looked up at her, hoping she'd hear the sincerity of my words. "More than anything else this young man is losing everything I'm gaining, and as tempting as that is..."

"This is bullshit," she hissed. "You want this as much as I do."

"In my last written communication with him he told me he drank animal blood. I don't know what else has happened to him but..." I shook my head. "I can't do that to him."

Esme looked startled. "You've actually been talking to him?"

I nodded. "I've been rather cagey in my answers, but yes." I started rubbing my temples. I was uncharacteristically tired, and oddly enough, could feel a headache coming on.

"Have you considered trying to destroy it?" Carlisle asked. Rosalie opened her mouth to screech in protest, but a pointed look from him stopped her with her mouth still open.

"I believe the young man already attempted its destruction."

"And?" he prompted.

"I was pulled into some kind of void, airless and featureless. In fact, I saw him in there with me, unable to breath, and dying. I don't know how, but I was pulled back here, to this... universe. I can only hope the same happened to him." Huh, I hadn't considered that before now. I had assumed he was still alive and returned the same way I had.

"What did he look like, Edward?"

I turned to Carlisle, and then slowly looked at all the members of my family. "He looked like me, when I was human – as best I remember."

The room was silent, the only sound at all was the breathing of those around me. All of us lost in our thoughts, of dreams and realities, of carpenters and kings. I couldn't help but smile as I mused on the bizarre workings of our reality.

"Let me see if I've got this straight," Emmett said. "You bought a journal that gives you access to... to what? A parallel universe?" I nodded. "And there's another you in that universe, an Edward who's human?"

I nodded again. "That's not all. There's also an Isabella. She's this human's girlfriend. And based on what we're seeing in terms of symptoms, I'm willing to guess there's an Alice there was well – although I've yet to get confirmation of that."

Carlisle slapped his hand against his knee and stood. "I think all we can do right now is watch and observe. Edward, I assume you'll remain in touch with this young man and learn what you can, and I want the rest of us to stay away from the journal." He gave Rosalie a pointed look, and she glared in return. He turned away from her, ignoring it. He'd grown used to her as well.

I stood and headed towards the stairs. The decision made, I now knew I had to do what I could to help this human, guide him if necessary while we figured a way to sever our connection. I had just reached the bottom of the stairs when I remembered my invitation.

"Carlisle, Esme, I invited Isabella to join us tomorrow for the game. She can't play, but she can watch. I'd like you to meet her."

"And how much else are you going to reveal to a human," Rosalie glared at me, her thoughts looking for ways to hurt me, a way to make herself feel better for the chance we're all denying her.

Rosalie was, in so many ways, Carlisle's single and most tragic mistake. For years I put myself in that category, but the truth is, he did what my mother begged him to do. In retrospect I couldn't blame Carlisle for granting the last wish of a dying woman. But Rosalie, it was an error in judgment, an error in communications, a desperate attempt to give me something he so desperately thought I needed that for once in his long life, he didn't think it through.

He and I both knew I wasn't asexual. I could appreciate the beauty and wonder of the female form as much as any heterosexual man, but whereas some might act on that desire for a single night of pleasure I found myself unable to even consider it. Perhaps it was the product of my upbringing, perhaps I was searching for an elusive form of love that I'd never find. But if Tanya was unable to entice me with her remarkable beauty and breathtaking intelligence, I never quite understood why Carlisle was so certain Rosalie would succeed where Tanya had failed.

I'd known of Rosalie during our brief time in Connecticut. I'd known of her reputation for both beauty and for vanity. Unfortunately, Carlisle knew nothing of her, his days spent either at the hospital or lost in the love he'd found with Esme. When he came across her as she was dying, he was convinced Providence had brought him to a ravishing beauty who would finally bring me joy, and so certain he was doing the right thing, he changed her and presented her to me as a gift. It was a mistake I'm certain he'd never make again.

My horror when I realized what he had done, and why, blurted from my lips when I thought she was still so buried in the pain of transformation she couldn't hear me. Unfortunately for us all, she heard every word between Carlisle and myself, and those few words ignited decades of enmity between she and I, and an unreasonable hatred for what she was that went far beyond any self-image issues I had. Her discovery of Emmett softened her somewhat, but her hatred for me never ebbed. It wasn't that Rosalie wanted me, she simply wanted me to want _her_. She didn't require the adoration of either Carlisle or Jasper, she respected their love for their mates, for their wives. But I was single, and she was beautiful, and she had expectations. And I never met them.

Without saying a word to anyone else but me, she took comfort in convincing herself I was homosexual, or perhaps completely asexual. Learning about my overwhelming attraction and growing love for Isabella had brought it all back to the fore. If I couldn't figure out a way to diffuse her, she was going to make Isabella's life hell simply for existing, simply for being, to me, what she could not.

I stared across the room at her, the fury distorting her features was only made worse by her certainty I could hear every one of her illogical thoughts. I shook my head, trying to find a way to reason with her.

"Rosalie, I will tell her as much as is necessary. Human or not, she's my mate. I'll find a way to make this work."

"Do you intend to change her?"

I looked not just at her, but at the entire family waiting for my answer. I shook my head. I couldn't even entertain the thought.

Running up the stairs, I prayed distance would give me relief from the barrage of her thoughts. Volturi was the loudest name in her head, and I knew the danger as much as she did. I was convinced we could find a way to hide from them, because changing Isabella into a monster was not an option.

But as soon as my thoughts moved in that direction I did what I've been doing since I met her – I tried to stop it, refused to think about it, set it aside for another day. The devil was in the details, as my mother always said, and the logistics of what I wanted versus what I could live with were humbling. I would love Isabella regardless of her age, regardless of what she looked like, but if I allowed myself to think about it I knew we'd spend the vast majority of our lives hiding our relationship – our marriage. The world would think Isabella was a spinster, only my family would know otherwise. And I could only pray we'd manage to make it through 60 years without the Volturi realizing I'd mated with a human, and that she knew our secrets.

Slamming the door to my room hard enough to send a deep crack through the thick wood I crouched in my closet to retrieve the journal. There was no other way, and if I couldn't have more than 60 years with the woman who I'd waited over 90 for, then so be it. There were solutions to avoiding eternity with nothing but the pain of a memory, and I had every intention of going that route the day she died. I had no illusions of joining her in the afterlife, but hell could be no worse than an eternity on this earth alone, once again – made far worse by knowing what I'd had. Death would be welcome, even if it meant an eternity in hell.

The journal in hand I returned to my desk, and opened it to our last conversation. It appeared he'd sent some messages since we last communicated, the vast majority them asking about Alice.

I ran my hand over my face – my theory was correct. There was an Alice in this alternative universe, and I can only assume the affect on her was parallel to the affect on my sister. But what caught my attention was the question about mind reading. It hadn't occurred to me this young man would pick that up. Some of these trait changes made sense, some did not. I was initially convinced that, with the exception of beard growth, most of the changes were psychological – but apparently not. Mind-reading would require a change in the functioning of his brain at the deepest levels. How far could all this go? My internal organs weren't going to regenerate, would they? Is it possible his would die?

I opened a drawer and retrieved the best of my fountain pens, the one that had been my father's — or so Carlisle told me. Turning to a blank page, I decided to tell him my story, and if anything in my history could help him, well... at least he'd have access to it. The decision made, the die cast, I'd do all I could to both help this young man, and guide him through the hell of his current existence. There had to be an answer, a way to stop it, but while we searched for it I'd be there for him. Perhaps it was time to see myself as his older brother, for we were most certainly brothers in his situation.

**I was born Edward Anthony Masen in the year 1901, in Chicago, Illinois. I was born to Elizabeth and Edward Masen, both of whom died of the Spanish Influenza in the year 1918. This was the year I was transformed into a vampire by a man whose hope was to save me from the same fate as my parents.**

**Yes, I do have a sibling named Alice, although our relationship is more akin to adopted children, since we're not truly related. We live as a family, Carlisle as the oldest, and patriarch, Esme as his wife. Alice is married to Jasper, and in addition we have Rosalie and Emmett, also married. We live amongst humans, posing as humans, and none of us consume human blood. We exist on animal blood – an inclination I see you've already succumbed to.**

**Edward, I don't know how to stop this, but I want you to know I'll be here for you – to help you, to guide you. Keep your Isabella away from this book, as I will also prevent contact being made with my own. I intend to tell her about it, as I imagine you're tempted as well – if you haven't already. But I believe the key is touch. Both of our Isabellas are human, and so I don't know what affect it may have on them. But as I'm certain you agree, it's not worth the risk.**

**And I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to you for my previous brusqueness. This has been no easier on you than it has been on me, perhaps it's been even harder. I'm truly sorry, and I hope we can take this opportunity to at least be friends why we search for the solution to our predicament.**

I re-read my words, wondering if he was there and reading while I was writing. And considering how little I really knew of this human, I found myself hoping he'd survived whatever that was that had captured us, unscathed. And I hoped that if I allowed myself to focus on young Edward I'd be able to distract myself from that dream of a stunning and immortal Isabella, and the accentuated ripeness of her body, and the inhuman thickness of her lustrous hair, and the possibility of living with, and worshiping this woman until the end of time.

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**A/N**

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and please, keep them coming, okay? Let me know how I'm doing, if you like it, if you don't, if you're confused.

Have you reserved your Edward yet?

Come play on the thread at Twilighted, in the forums under Alternate Universe.

Thank you.

FM


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Her characters, my plot, my universes, my journal, my wet clothes, my Edwards... Mwahahaha**

**Summary: Not all is as it seems when Edward finds an old journal that can bridge the gap between universes. Things become even stranger when the reality of one universe starts to bleed into the other.**

**_This story will always represent the two points of view, EAM's and EAMC's, separated by a bunch of *****'s and a rule. _**

**_Warning: This story is rated M for a reason, and that reason ain't just lemons._**

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**Chapter 14**

_**EAM POV**_

I wasn't naive enough to believe I'd experienced everything there was in life, but there was no way I could imagine anything will ever, and I mean _ever,_ top this. Well, the only way it could get better is when we had a better handle on what we were doing, but it sure as hell was going to be worth the practice.

Bella was tucked into my side, her legs twisted around mine. We were sated, exhausted, shivering from drying sweat and tucked under her comforter. I squeezed my arm around her shoulder and kissed her fragrant hair, and she responded with a giggle — her soft finger drawing designs on my chest. We sighed at the same time – words weren't necessary.

Our first time this evening... well, I guess I set a new record. I'd barely slid into her, relieved the only pain she seemed to feel was from my intrusion, although she said it wasn't as much pain as it was an odd sensation. But God damn, it was the most incredible feeling of my life, and it was over embarrassingly fast. She didn't make me feel bad but that made no difference. I did a fine job kicking myself without any help.

But when she started kissing my neck, when she slid her hand down and touched me… Fuck, in less than 5 minutes I was ready to go again, and this time it wasn't over before it started. And it was… shit, it was heaven. Her body under mine, her legs wrapped around my waist... the feel of her breasts in my hands, her breath on my tongue. But we both still had so much to learn. Well, Bella didn't have a hell of a lot to learn. _I_ had to figure out the mystery of how to make her come. Well, they say that's how you get to Carnegie Hall. Fuck, I was giddy. Now I'm even thinking the same lame jokes my parents' told.

Leaning over and kissing the top of her head, she tried to cuddle even closer to me – which was impossible. I took a deep breath and breathed her in, still able to handle the smell of blood that was in the air - that scent that could have been my undoing if it wasn't for the sensory overload from her body in my hands, against me, wrapped around me.

I swallowed again, just the memory was enough to start the drooling. But I did it, I was able to ignore the throbbing of the vein in her neck as she writhed under me, ignore the bouquet of her blood when her hymen tore. My stomach twisted with hunger, but the wonder of making love was more than enough to ignore everything else.

Except for the time. It was close to midnight. _Shit._

I kissed the top of her head again, running my nose through her tangled hair. "Bella?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"As much as I'd rather just stay here, I have to go before Carlisle and Esme start looking for me."

She sighed, snuggling again, rubbing her cheek against my chest. Damn, I was getting hard again. "Can't have them show up here looking for you, can we," she purred before lifting her head, eyes suddenly wide with horror, "or calling Charlie at the station."

I got up so fast, lunging for my wet clothes, that she almost bounced off the bed. No no no no, ain't no way her father's going to find out I was here tonight. I struggled to get into my wet jeans and t-shirt, shoving my boxers and socks into my pocket.

"Shit," she giggled as she situated herself back into the middle of the bed, the comforter wrapped around her.

I stopped trying to squeeze wet shoes onto bare feet and looked up at her. "What?"

Pointing at my clothes, she started biting her lip, looking crestfallen. "If I'd have thought of it, I'd have thrown your clothes into the dryer. I'm sorry."

"Don't be silly," I whispered, leaning over to taste those lips before I left. "It's a short drive home." Then I remembered tomorrow. "Hey, the family's playing baseball tomorrow, wanna come?"

Bella laughed. "You have your own team?"

"Yup." I grinned, checking my pockets for my car keys. "You don't have to play if you don't want…"

"Bullshit, of course I'll play." She laughed at my raised eyebrows. "What, you think I can't play baseball? Didn't I tell you my father is all things sports? Do you really think he'd let me grow up a wimp?"

"I guess, I mean, we didn't talk about it…"

"Nah, it's okay. I'd love to join you guys. What time?"

I leaned in for one more kiss. "As early as you want. If you like, I'll give you a call and come pick you up. We can hang out until the game?"

Her smile was so broad, her face so bright I struggled to keep from crawling back into bed with her. Only the thought of being caught by the Chief of Police while deflowering his daughter stopped me.

"Absolutely," she said, rearranging her comforter so the tops of her breasts were plumped by her arms crossed below them. _Fuck._ "I get up early, so call whenever, okay?"

"Huh?" _Stop staring at her breasts, she's talking to you._ Dragging my eyes further up I saw the expectant look. She'd asked a question. Right. What was it? Oh... phone. Call her. _Think in complete sentences, you moron._

"You got it." I looked at her clock again. "Gotta go. Guess I'll use the door this time, it's faster." I started for the stairs and paused. One more look. Was that a nipple peeking out? Maybe just a... _Be strong Masen, ignore your dick! _Yeah, easy for my brain to say, the zipper burn was lots further south.

I sighed and resigned myself to leave before I had to explain the zipper imprint to a doctor. "Lock up after me, okay?"

"Yes daddy," she laughed.

The house was quiet when I unlocked the door and slipped inside, dark except for the hall light burning. I was thankful I'd never given them trouble, the last thing I needed was Esme waiting in the living room to catch me with boxer and sock bulges in my pockets – aside from other bulges. Fuck, why did I think getting laid would calm this shit down? The entire drive home was spent fantasizing about the next time, driving with one hand while the other was playing 'catch the cock,' trying to keep the goods away from that deadly metal zipper. If a trucker passed me and looked down he'd think I was whacking off while I drove... not that I didn't consider it.

I tip toed up to my room and stripped off my wet clothes as soon as I closed the door, pulling on an old track suit. It was late, I was hungry, and once again, not a bit tired. Shit, I should be. It's been days since I more than napped a couple of times during the night, and after tonight I _should_ be tired. Maybe this was another vampire trait?

I unlocked the drawer and pulled the book out, my hand on it and about to open it to see if he'd responded when my stomach gave another twist. I was fucking hungry. If I didn't get some food into me my stomach would start consuming itself.

Locking the book up again I slipped out of my bedroom and headed to the kitchen to see what there might be.

Bent in front of the refrigerator, my mouth full of the two slices of deli roast beef that was left over from our picnic lunch, I scoured for something, _anything_ I could eat without hurling. There was a pink Tupperware container on the side, but I couldn't see what was in it. Grabbing it, I placed it on the counter and pried the lid up.

_Fuck._

I closed it as quickly as I could and shoved it back where it was. How can cooked chicken breast smell _slimy?_ I managed to finish swallowing what was left in my mouth, washed my hands thoroughly and got out of the kitchen before the lingering smell made me lose the roast beef.

What the hell was I going to do? It was after 1 am, and even the one Forks convenience store was closed for the night. Wandering to the glass doors that looked out over our yard, I gazed at the tree line, at the full moon just rising above it. I was hungry, I wasn't tired, and there was nothing in this damned house to eat. Sliding open the door I stepped out into the cool air and strolled into the yard, the grass, damp with evening dew, cold against my bare soles. I should be freezing but it felt... pleasant. No, pleasant was the wrong word. _Invigorating_. As I padded across the yard the soft grass caressed my feet, the blades twisting themselves between my toes. The cool moisture licked the tops of my feet, and I walked faster, and the faster I walked the better I felt. I started to jog, the muscles in my legs contracting and pushing me forward, my arms pumping at my sides I broke into a run - each step pushing me faster, the wind sweeping at my face and I ran faster, the power in my legs addictive, the speed a drug. High as a kite I ran into the woods, over branches, the moonlight guiding my way as I soared, somehow knowing where to land my unprotected feet, rotting leaves and pine needles cushioning me I kept running, my hair blowing back from my face I kept running – all thoughts of Bella and journals and dead parents left behind me as I became a thing that ran, my purpose was to run, to fly, it was all I was and all I'd ever be, breath whooshing out of my lungs and clean fragrant air entering I ran...

Until I smelled it.

Hot, musky, damp fur and beating heart I pounced on it – its body trapped under mine, its razor sharp claws scraping at the dirt, struggling to flip itself so it could gore me, repel me, slash me open so it could escape... But I was too fast, I was too heavy, I wanted it, I needed it, I yearned for it as I bent my head and kissed its soft fur and sank my teeth - letting the sweet blood flow.

I was on my knees when I came to, staring at a dead raccoon, bloody and crushed, before me. I could still smell its blood, taste it in my mouth, but I felt good – hunger sated and _strong_. I stood and looked down at the poor animal, its life given for me, and felt nothing. I should feel disgust, but as hard as I searched I couldn't find it. It fed me the same way a steer would feed me, the same way pigs fed me, chickens feed me. It wasn't as sanitary and impersonal as the meat cooler at the supermarket, but in the end it was the same thing. I was an omnivore, and I was an omnivore before this shit started with the journal, as much as I was now. Well, maybe I was edging over towards carnivore but what the hell difference did it make? My tastes had changed. I could accept that.

Giving the raccoon one more glance I turned around and headed back to the house at a much slower pace. My head was the clearest it had been in days, and the urge to run was gone. I walked carefully, remembering I was barefoot. A brief stop at a quick-flowing creek took care of the blood on my face and hands, and I continued on, strolling with my hands deep in my pockets, smiling as I thought back on my evening with that incredible girl. She not only fit seamlessly into my life, she made me feel _alive_ again. Hopeful for the first time since they died, aware of something outside myself and my grief.

The moon had arched across the sky, dropping behind the trees, but it still shone enough light to navigate. The forest floor was silver in the moonlight, the shadows an inky black as they crisscrossed beneath my feet. It was peaceful, colors bleached out leaving form and function, unknown shapes passed by my periphery as I took the time to let my mind go, relax in nothing more than one step in front of the other as I paced my way home.

It was the hooting of an owl that startled me, switching my mind back on. I turned to the sound just in time to see a flash of light that wasn't from the moon.

_What the..._ I changed direction and saw the flash again – like a flicker – on again, off again. Peering around an enormous tree I stopped and stared into a debris-filled knoll, the flashing light illuminating the tangled branches leaning, reaching to the ground. And there, in the center of the knoll, looking as if she was peacefully sleeping, was a doe. But it wasn't, because it wasn't really there. Like a projection from old and grainy film, she flickered in and out of my vision - here one minute, gone the next. Holding onto the tree I leaned to get a better look. My original assessment was wrong – her neck was at an odd angle as she laid there, clearly broken. I leaned further, my nails digging into the rough bark. And as I watched it flicker, colorless in both the moonlight and the projection, I could just see an injury on its neck, black liquid oozing from it. It looked like… it looked like the raccoon...

The image flickered once more, and then it was gone. The forest was pitch black once again, and there was no question in my mind what I'd seen.

I returned to the trail, picking up my pace, purpose now driving my return to the house. One more question would be joining Alice's in the journal. It seemed to me I wasn't the only one hunting animals for blood.

'*'

_Amazing._

My hand was literally caressing the surface of the page, taking pleasure in its smooth texture. I'd just finished reading pages of information about this vampire. It was what Alice and I had hoped for, and at the same time it was a shitload more than I expected. Checking the time, I decided not to wake Alice at 4 in the morning, so I read through the entire thing again.

The parallels were fucking insane. He was part of some kind of family, and every name he mentioned matched up with the family I lived with – well, except for Jasper and Alice being married, and this Rosalie. Then I remembered this girl Emmett's been staring at for the last year or so, too chicken shit to actually talk to her. I never gave a damn about it before, but now I wondered what her name was?

Reading through it for the third time, I started to understand what was happening to me. He could read minds, so that explained what I'd been hearing. His sister Alice, or whatever she was, was able to see the future, so that might explain my Alice's dreams. The rest of his family didn't have any special talents, so there was no risk of transferring anything to anyone else here. But I didn't intend to let anyone else touch it, regardless. But as far as I knew, no one else was lusting after blood the way I was, and I hoped to keep it that way.

None of them drank human blood – so my guess about that thing in the woods, the doe, was right. Fucking amazing. I wondered how many vampires were like that? I wondered if there were any vampires here, in my world. Maybe there's some kind of vampire detector? I needed to ask him.

But even more, I wondered why none of this was freaking me out, like getting a glimpse into his world tonight. I shrugged my shoulders. Maybe I was insane, and my brain calmly decided this was my new reality.

Returning to the pages, I couldn't stop re-reading the real details about his life - his age, and how he almost died. There were decade's worth of years between us, but just like me, his parents died of the damned flu - the Spanish Influenza. The same flu they say may be related to Avian Influenza. And he was dying from it, and woke up a vampire.

I closed the journal and threw it on my desk. I think if that happened to me I'd go fucking crazy. I mean, waking up wanting to drink blood, a damned vampire, able to read minds... I'd definitely be ready for the loony bin. Maybe I better keep that in mind when we talked, or communicated, or whatever. The guy may be a few short of a six pack.

And he had a Bella, and I assumed she's human... Why am I assuming that? He never mentioned it. I picked up the journal and scanned it again. Nope, nothing about her being human or a vampire. If she's human, I wonder if she knows he's a vampire? And if she's human, how can he resist her blood?

About as well as I'm resisting her blood — barely. Suddenly I was really uncomfortable about everything, and for some bizarre reason I found myself starting to feel protective, and worried, about this Bella in the other universe.

When Alice got up we'd have a chat, and when Bella arrived it was time to show her the journal. I couldn't hide this from her any more.

In the meantime, the least I could do is reciprocate, and add my own background. And get whatever advice I could from this vampire named Edward.

'********'

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_**EAMC POV**_

"I don't see anything. Nothing at all."

"Trust me, Carlisle, it's there – although I'm not at all surprised you can't see it."

Under a tree, about a mile or so behind the house, the image continued to flicker in the moonlight. It was a sizeable raccoon, a ragged bite taken from its neck. There was little doubt in my mind of its source, but confirmation from Carlisle was advisable.

"Do you pick up the scent of any vampires other than our family?"

Carlisle turned to me, confusion written all over his face. "Why would I?"

"Because what I can see, that you can't, is a raccoon drained of blood – with a surprisingly efficient bite on its neck, and the expected splatter of blood on its fur. It's a vampire kill, no question about it." I stopped, watching his expression change as he understood what I was talking about. "You can't see it, but I can. I suspect this now means I have occasional visual access to this other universe." The image was fading, not as bright nor as clear as it had been. "And this image tells me the human Edward has sought out an animal kill again."

"You've chosen to continue to communicate with him, correct?"

I nodded. "I need to find a way to break this connection, but until I do, I can't leave him like this. I can't leave him alone and without guidance." I shook my head and turned back toward the house. "Can you imagine what he's going through?"

Rosalie and Emmett were out when we returned, and I was more than a little thankful for that. I heard the two of them bickering most of the night – we all heard it. I had to give Emmett credit, she was a lot to handle. Her words were harsh, her desire to explore a way of returning her humanity was expressed without remorse for whomever might be on the other side of the journal. And as much as Emmett tried to make her see there was no guarantee of anything more than two people stuck in a half-existence between vampire and human, she would not be deterred. I'd need to find a safer place to hide the journal.

An hour later I was still sitting at my desk, stunned. Exceedingly relieved he'd escaped unscathed from whatever place we'd found ourselves, I read his words, his response to my autobiography with fascination. I expected certain parallels at this point, but nothing this close. Everything this human Edward wrote confirmed everything I was suspecting. A sister named Alice who, because she had touched the journal on a few occasions, was exhibiting precognition in her dreams – just as my Alice was finding her ability reduced. The family was structured in a manner almost identical to my own. Although we were all adults with some posing as children, his was structured so the child roles played by us were their reality. They were adopted, paralleling our charade.

Well, it was identical for the most part. Jasper was his Alice's boyfriend. There was a Carlisle, also a doctor, and an Esme. The only missing link was Rosalie, and I breathed a sigh of relief. He related how his Emmett longed after the analog in their world, but as long as she stayed far away there was a reduced chance that, if my Rosalie managed to get her hands on the book, the human would be hurt.

And of course, the best piece of news was the intelligence of this young man, who after seeing the changes in himself and his sister prohibited other members of his family from touching the journal. In his case, only Alice knew it existed. Smart boy.

I was still lost in thought when I happened to glance at my clock, my eyes widening. I had just enough time to shower and get to Isabella's house to pick her. _How could I have lost track of time?_ I reestablished my internal circadian, hoping it wouldn't fail me again. This was not something I wanted to lose as a result of this journal. I liked not having to carry a timepiece.

A half hour later, standing in front of her door I felt, for the first time in decades, like a teenager. I was about to meet the Charlie, the father, the man who had more influence in Isabella's life than I – I think. Would he look at me and consider me a suitable suitor for his daughter, or would his senses – honed by years in law enforcement – suspect there was something wrong with me?

I had just lifted my hand to knock when the door opened, revealing a smiling, although obviously nervous, Isabella. She grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door, closing it behind me and dragging me to the living room. There sat Charlie, in all his paternal glory, and it took little effort to hear his thoughts as he sized up the young man Isabella had indicated was her beau.

Some kind of sports show on the television was providing background ambiance as he looked me up and down – taking in my pale skin and the odd color of my eyes. The paleness was easily explained, as far as he was concerned, by the constant Forks' cloud cover. The eye color was bothering him, but not overly so. What seemed to disturb him the most was I wasn't fidgeting like a 17 year old should. Better correct that.

"Chief Swan," I said, inclining my head, hoping to avoid shaking his hand and adding my cold skin to his list. I decided breaking eye contact would be a good move, and looked down at my feet. It worked, his thoughts betrayed satisfaction in his belief he intimidated me.

"Edward, right?" I nodded, looking back at him and fidgeting, continuing to feign discomfort. "Dr. Cullen's boy?"

"He's my foster father."

I watched his eyes narrow and grow dark. His thoughts immediately went to questions about why I was fostered, concerned about juvenile delinquency and bad parenting. _Not good._

"Both of my parents are deceased. Dr. Cullen was kind enough to foster me." Nope, that wasn't enough. His mind switched gears to guns and drug dealing. The man was too caught in his narrow world of police work.

"They fell ill, Sir. Dr. Cullen was their physician." I breathed a sigh of relief, his lie-detecting radar was satisfied, since it was the truth, and his thoughts became both sympathetic and contrite. He was also embarrassed, unsure what to say to me now that it was clear I deserved sympathy instead of suspicion. Letting him off the hook might score some points.

"It was a long time ago, Chief Swan, and Dr. Cullen and Esme have been wonderful to me." That was enough, time to cut this short before additional questions were raised. I turned to Isabella, who occupied herself during this encounter by chewing on her lower lip. I looked back down at me feet before my mind went... too late. I shifted, hoping her father didn't notice my discomfort, or my trousers.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll just get my bag..."

Charlie still didn't show any signs of getting up, or relenting. "Bella said you're playing baseball."

Isabella stopped, turned around and grabbing my hand, pulled me from the room. "Yes, Dad." She was clearly annoyed, and for some odd reason I took comfort in that.

"Bella, I expect you home at a reasonable hour."

"I understand, Chief Swan. Tomorrow is, after all, a school day." At this point his thoughts were calmer, and somewhat impressed with my words. He was reserving judgment though, waiting to see if my actions matched.

'*'

To me, music holds many meanings and has varied uses. There are times the notes and harmonies are a soothing background, relaxing me. Other times I focus on the intricicies, allowing each part and counterpart their place in my mind as the symphony wove itself around me. Today, the former was needed as music played in the background as we sat in my room, my eyes trained on Isabella reading the journal.

She wasn't to touch it, and to my surprise, she didn't argue with my rule. As I let the music try to sooth me, I prayed to whoever might listen that this wasn't a horrific mistake. I wasn't concerned for her – I was certain if I prevented her from touching the journal she'd be safe. Rather, I was concerned for me, because no matter how open-minded she may be, this was beyond the pale. I risked the possibility she'd think me insane.

I watched her eyes moving quickly, the furrow of her brow, heard the occasional gasp as a startling new piece of information was revealed. I turned away when she sucked in her lower lip to chew it. Arousal, although never far away where she was concerned, was not what was needed right now. So I was reduced to gauging her reaction by listening to her respiration, the pattern of her heartbeat, tasting the sweat of her skin on the air. And when I heard her shift I finally allowed my eyes to return to my lovely mate. She had leaned back and closed her eyes, her brow drawn and, quite clearly, deep in thought. I closed the journal and placed it on my desk. And waited.

She opened her eyes and looked directly at me. "How long have you been conversing with him?" I let out a breath in relief. She didn't think me mad. Or did she?

"Only a couple of weeks. The real conversation, the revelation of who we really are, has only been within the past few days."

She paused, searching my eyes. "I can't believe how disconcerting this has been for you. Did you think you were going mad, or had family members screwing with your head?"

Now I could relax, she didn't think I was deluded. "Yes. However, the worst has been the physical symptoms, the changes in me."

"And him, this other Edward?"

"Apparently, he's picked up some aspects of my own physiology."

She nodded, thinking, her eyes on the journal now closed on my desk. "Do you think if this progressed he'd become a vampire, and you'd become human?"

I shook my head. "Unlikely. As much as the changes that have occurred thus far are rather surprising, complete transformation would violate whatever laws of biology and physics I'm aware of. It's not as if my internal organs can miraculously regenerate and start functioning again."

She tilted her head, a small smile on her face. "It's difficult to have a meaningful discussion with you if you won't tell me the process, or give me more specifics about your physical makeup. For all I know, everything I've learned is the stuff of legend with no basis in reality." Her smile turned into a smirk. "Maybe the truth is, vampires are born, not created."

I stared at Isabella, my mate, my mouth gaping open, vowing I'd never underestimate her again.

Checkmate.

* * *

**A/N**

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. Thank you again. And again.

And a huge thanks and hug for my validating beta, Alicedances. And Isakassees, who pre-reads and adds to my insanity. She and I are going to retire to our own Rob-based theme park. Reserve your spot now!

And thanks to Books, who hasn't a clue what I'm doing. Neither do I.

Edward(s) are pretty well booked. They're also exhausted – even VampWard. However, they're getting in that much needed practice.

Come play on the thread at Twilighted, in the forums under Alternate Universe. Things are dying down there, come liven it up! Robporn always accepted.

Thank you.

FM, the Insane


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N *FM pins herself to the wall after handing her readers a whip***

**And, believe it or not, I really won't enjoy it.**

**I'm sorry *pout.* It's r/l, it's a lot of things. But here we are and we're back.**

**SM owns the characters, I own the plot. And the journal. It might go up on eBay.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 15**

_**EAM POV**_

**Are you there?**

Bella's jaw dropped, and I had to catch her before she slid off the bed. Grasping onto my arms, her face pale and hands trembling, her eyes moved from me to the book, and back to me.

"How the hell…?"

I made a valiant attempt not to laugh. I mean, I held my breath and bit my lips, but a few chuckles escaped in spite of my efforts. "I tried to tell you, didn't I?"

"You mean… I mean… This is all true?"

It had been a long fucking morning, but I did survive meeting her father. By the time we left I think I had his approval. Maybe. I could tell Chief Swan was going to be a handful in my relationship with his daughter, making me realize I'd better redouble my efforts to make sure he never found out what the two of us did last night, or how much I intended to repeat it in the near future. Even if, sometime in the future, we got married he'd be better off thinking his daughter was as pure as the driven snow. The man owned a gun.

'_Shit,'_ I thought, standing in front of the Chief of Police, his eyes cold and his hands smelling like gun oil. Just thinking about last night was enough to pop a ton of naked Bella visuals into my head, and the last place I needed to be sporting wood was in front of her father. Guys had some kind of radar about that, and I bet fathers of beautiful daughters were outright psychic.

All Chief Swan needed was a 200 watt bulb directed at my face to make the interrogation complete. Bella rolled her eyes and sighed at him, but I was the one staring at his twitching mustache while I was grilled about my foster parents, my birth parents, where I was born, where I had lived, my extra-curricular activities, my career plans, and my current grades. I expected him to draw blood to make sure I didn't carry diseases or have some shit in my DNA he didn't like. Good thing there was no way he could know about what was going on with the journal and the other universe. I wouldn't want to have to explain that I was turning into a vampire. Fathers of girlfriends tended to frown on that kind of shit.

By the time we got back to my house my t-shirt was soaked with nervous sweat, but no… we weren't done. Dragging Bella into the kitchen, Esme went through the required introductions, but at least my family didn't carry firearms, pull out a syringe full of truth serum, or lock Bella in the basement and tie her down under a spotlight. Well yeah, maybe I was exaggerating her father's treatment, but I was completely maxed out on parental involvement for the day. If we hadn't already committed to the baseball game I'd have grabbed Bella and dragged her away to someplace where we couldn't be found for hours.

By the time we got away and up to my room, I wanted to just decompress - maybe kiss those soft lips, caress her smooth skin… but shit, I knew there was one thing we had to do before anything else.

The Journal. And now I was dealing with her shock, which admittedly was nowhere near as bad as my own reaction the first time I saw the writing. She was still conscious.

I ran my hand soothingly over her back. She wasn't trembling, but I swear I could hear her heart beating out of control, and she was pale, almost as pale as I'd become. Bella started chewing her bottom lip, her brows drawn, a blush creeping over her face, down her neck, towards her… _focus Masen._

"What's the matter?"

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said, hiding her face behind her hair. I'd never seen her look this uncomfortable. "I should have believed you."

_Absurd_. "Fuck no, don't apologize to me. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself, and I've been living with this spooky shit for weeks now.

She looked at the book again, and the words that had just appeared.

"Are you going to answer him?"

"Uh yeah, I probably should. I don't want him to think that I'm not here."

I grabbed the pen, looking over at her one more time to make sure she was okay and quickly wrote.

_**Yes, I'm here now. Bella's here with me**_.

Both of us stared at the book, wondering what was going to come from him next. As we watched once again the words came rising up from the pages, as if they were coming from under water.

**Hello, Bella. I hope you're well this day, and I hope you don't mind the impertinence**.

She looked at the book - eyes wide, clearly fascinated. Curiosity had definitely taken over.

"Would you write something to him for me?"

"Sure"

"Write 'What do you mean by impertinence?'"

I wrote the words, and his answer was almost immediate.

**I'm trying to figure out how to differentiate between the two of you in my own mind. If you don't mind, I'd like to refer to you by the shortened name of Bella, and the young woman who lives in this universe with me as Isabella. Do you have any objections?**

"No, none at all. Edward, would you write that for me?"

As I was writing a thought started to take form, bubble up, making my hands sweat and my heart beat faster. I had to admit it; I was uncomfortable with this Edward from this other universe talking to _my_ Bella.

It was crazy, it was irrational, but there was a part of me that was fucking jealous. I turned away while she continued to stare at the journal, I didn't want her to see the blood rushing to my face, my hands clenching into fists. I let out a breath and scrubbed my hands over my hot cheeks. Faith - I had to have faith. I had to believe that Bella truly loved me, that she wouldn't find that fucking vampire to be enticing – more enticing than the 18 year old boy sitting next to her.

**Bella, my Isabella is sitting here right now. Would you like to say something to her?  
**

Bella's mouth dropped open, her eyes got even wider, and she turned even paler – if that was possible.

"Edward, I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Do you mind writing something else for me?"

"Sure, I'm not going to let you touch the book anyway."

"Apologize for me, okay? Say next time, just not right now. I'm still trying to let this all sink in."

I was writing when she started to giggle. I looked up, raised my eyebrows, and hoped she'd tell me what she found so funny.

"Oh, I don't know," she laughed. "If I had access to this book I'd probably be sitting for hours talking to myself. Does that qualify as insanity when the you you're talking to is from another universe."

"And what about the other Edward?"

She looked up at me, her eyes softening while she smiled.

"I have my own Edward, I don't need the other."

I managed not to fist pump in front of her. But I couldn't resist setting the journal aside, wrapping my arms around her, and covering those lips with my own.

'*'

When Bella first saw the mountain field her jaw dropped, and she flopped onto the ground, laughing her ass off. I had to laugh with her; it wasn't the kind of thing you expected to find at the top of a mountain. It was a natural field, almost completely flat. Carlisle found it a long time ago, and over the years he'd cleared away brush, put in bases that were distinctly outlined, and set up a home plate. He'd even put in a pitcher's mound.

"Edward," she laughed, "how long has your family been playing here?"

"Carlisle says it's been a while, but of course you know I've only been with them a couple of years." It was a pleasant surprise to find out the Cullens liked baseball. My parents loved it, and the games with the Cullens brought back wonderful memories of quiet evenings listening to a tinny voice from a battery-operated radio while we were huddled in a tent in the middle of nowhere. So as much as I'd rather brood and focus on my loss, I couldn't resist playing a game now and then, getting caught up in their laughter - adults, kids, it made no difference. Everyone was a baseball player on this field.

And now, Bella could join me. Life had gone from total shit to something wonderful. Well, it would be even better without that whole bloodlust thing, but hey, at the moment I saw no reason to complain. The sun was out, and the girl I loved was at my side… and I could start writing Hallmark cards. _Ewwww._

Setting aside that awful thought and making a mental note to check myself later to make sure I wasn't growing a vagina, I scanned the field, remembering my first reaction to seeing this when I first moved in with the Cullens. It was absurd, no question about it. Up here in the middle of nowhere, all they needed were bleachers and cheerleaders. But for now, I had something else in mind. We had at least an hour until the rest got here.

"I want to show you something."

I reached down and grabbed her hand and pulled her across the field. Her laugher had stopped, but her smile was still bright with her eyes twinkling as we stepped onto a well-worn deer trail I'd discovered last year.

The day was unusually warm for Forks, the humidity oppressive as the rarely-seen sun hit the dampness of the Olympic Peninsula and saturated the air with water. Grateful it was a short walk through the shadowed woods we were both dripping with sweat when I finally spotted the break in the trees, and the shaft of light - like an arrow pointing from the sky - illuminating our destination. The whispering sound of falling water, at first so easy to mistake as the rustling of leaves, grew louder with each step.

And with her hand in mine we stepped out of the trees, through the damp ferns, and to the edge of a mountain pool fed by a waterfall spilling over natural granite ledges. The sun sparkled on the fine ripples scattered across the surface of the water, and mist from the cold spray hit our faces. Bella looked absolutely delighted.

"Just what I was hoping for," she whispered as she sat at the edge and unlaced her shoes, grimacing as she pulled off her sweaty socks and laying them on a sunny rock to dry. I sat down to join her, hoping she wasn't downwind of my feet, when from the corner of my eye I saw long pale legs and a pair of jeans flying through the air in the direction of her socks. Before I could register what she was doing, her t-shirt had joined the pile and she was reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra.

"Bella, what are you… I mean…" I lost the ability to speak as I sputtered and ogled her gorgeous body at the same time.

"What, can we be seen here?" She looked around quickly. "Isn't this sorta private?"

"Well yes but…"

"Relax, Edward. I just want to cool off before the game." She dipped her toe into the cold, clear water and shivered. With a look of insane determination she stripped off her panties and jumped into the pool, coming back up sputtering and laughing.

"Gonna join me?"

She was already shivering, and all I could think of was how… er… small everything would get once I got into that water. Even worse, what it would look like when I got out. I wasn't certain all the hormones in the world could counter the effects of a freezing cold mountain pool.

But as I watched her swim away from me… _fuck it_. I'd be damned if I sat on the shore and watched her naked body receding into the distance. I turned my back to the pool and stripped quickly, praying she wasn't watching. Her attention seemed to be on some trees leaning over the pool on the far side, and I took a deep breath and …

_Fuck._ I collapsed to the ground, my heart hammering. _What the fuck was it?_ I held my breath, fighting the flames licking my throat and looked around. Her clothes – hot and sweaty and fragrant and I could smell her skin and her blood in the perspiration infusing the fabric and… _shit_. Saliva pooling in my mouth, muscles tensing I rose to my feet and lunged for the water, diving blindly into the pool in an attempt to stop breathing the air that was filled with nothing but her, ready to breathe in water if I had to.

Rising to the surface I tentatively lifted my head out of the water and breathed. The burn in my throat was subsiding, my heartbeat was slowing and I turned around slowly until I saw Bella – treading water and staring at me – eyebrows drawn in concern. I gave her a tentative smile, but it did nothing to stop her frown.

"I'm okay."

She tilted her head and gave me a questioning look.

"Edward, your eyes are black."

_Black? What the fuck?_ "Really, I'm fine," I repeated as I swam towards her. I could still smell her, but the closer I got the easier it was to handle – which made no fucking sense at all. Maybe the water was diluting it? Remembering back to last year's chemistry class… maybe it was the cold water that was…

_Wait._ I stopped and discreetly dropped my hand under the water and felt… Things were normal. I knew this damned pool was freezing cold; Bella's shivering wasn't my imagination. Why didn't I feel it? It wasn't warm, it wasn't cold, it was… okay. Better add this to my ever-growing list of questions for the journal.

But for now my attention returned to Bella – her long dark hair plastered to her head, the ends floating around her in the water like gossamer threads, her eyelashes dark and wet and clumped, her lips dark red and plump. No, I wasn't going to have problems with the cold, not at all.

Gliding through the water I slipped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. I might not be able to feel the cold water, but the heat from her body still surrounded me, her hot breasts with her hard nipples pressing against my chest as I buried my face in her wet hair. I'd found the answer. Physical lust outweighed bloodlust, at least at this point. If that meant I'd have to take her every time I had an urge for her blood, I'd just have to make the sacrifice. Based on those soft hands currently kneading my ass, I had a feeling she'd go along with it.

"Your eyes are still black, and what do you think you're doing, young man?" Bella giggled as she placed a hot kiss on my neck.

"Enjoying nature, what else?" I mumbled, rubbing her back while my lips made their way to her ear. I needed her, I needed to possess her. She was mine, only mine. I could feel a growl start deep in my chest as my hands on her body became frantic, the silk of her skin, the curves of her breasts, her heart pounding and the scent of her flesh and her blood exploding around me, inside me, my erection pushing against her soft and warm stomach while the taste of her skin and her lips drove me insane with need. She responded by bobbing up in the water and wrapping her strong legs around my waist, almost pulling us both under. I managed to grab her soft thighs and surge towards the end of the pool until I could just get my toes to reach bottom.

"Now," she whispered, taking my earlobe into her mouth.

I wasn't thinking anymore, my body was on fire as I slipped into her, both of us moaning as I buried myself as deeply as possible, again and again – taking her like an animal, sucking on her skin and marking her, the word _mate_ echoing in my mind.

"Much better than your blood," I groaned against her neck, hoping she didn't hear it.

'*'

"What's the matter with you?"

Bella and I just managed to get dressed and back to the field before the family showed up in Emmett's Jeep. Bella and Esme were off on the side laughing about something while my focus was on Alice, who looked like shit. Well, I think shit might look better.

She scrubbed at her face, looking like death warmed over, her cheeks pale and gaunt with deep, dark purple circles under her eyes.

"Alice, haven't you been eating? I mean, I thought Jasper was helping you?"

She shook her head. "No, that's not it. It's more like no sleep the last couple of nights."

"Dreams?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, nodding and taking a deep breath. "But I can't get a handle on it. Bits and pieces, flashes of faces, nothing making sense." She looked across the field, towards Bella and Esme.

"I don't know why, but do me a favor and keep Bella close to you today, okay?"

I agreed quickly – mostly because she was so serious. Until all this started happening, Alice was never serious. She was a goofy teenager like me before that journal came into our lives. I didn't know if she or I could ever go back to being kids again.

"Carlisle," I shouted. How about we put Bella on first base, and I'll take short stop. She's an experienced player; let's see what she's got." I didn't want to worry her by relaying Alice's warning, but this way I'd be pretty close in case anything happened. I mean, it would make Alice feel better, cause what the fuck could happen out here in the middle of nowhere? If a grizzly wandered by we were all screwed.

He nodded and turned back to the Jeep to finish hauling the equipment out, and Bella trotted in my direction as we all headed out to the field. I wanted today to be fun with the family, I wanted Bella to see us as normal in spite of the fact she and I were the only ones not dressed like the NY Yankees. Was no fucking way I was going to wear one of those baseball outfits Alice tried to dress me in this morning. I'd be sporting a tent every time I thought about that luscious girl over there, her firm breasts, her rosy nipples, her tight…

_The scent of an unwashed body burned my nose, made my gorge rise. I could feel my lips curl back from my teeth as a growl rumbled through my chest. My eyes narrowed as I felt my iris's dilate as everything around me froze its motion, the dust motes hanging in the air, the leaves on the trees immobile as I turned and saw him. Blonde, greasy hair caught back in a ponytail, his dirt-streaked face covered in stubble, the piercing blue eyes that singled me out, and his muscled arm that was wrapped around the waist of a pale and trembling Bella._

He smirked, lowering his head to run his nose over Bella's neck.

"Hey, Baby doll," he cooed at her. "You look good enough to eat."

'********'

_**EAMC POV**_

I had just enough time to tuck Isabella behind me before we all froze, the scent of more vampires we hadn't yet seen coming from the trees. I tried to focus on his mind now that I saw him, desperately trying to conceal my reaction to his thoughts as I watched the others nomads step out of the woods and join him on the field.

His maroon eyes were on Isabella, and his thoughts were sending me into a panic. Here I was, thankful I no longer dealt with the constant intrusion of everyone's thoughts, caught completely by surprise. A quick glance at Alice and I knew she had completely missed this as well.

His smirk and his swagger were meant to mask his astonishment to see a coven ready to play baseball, but he was even more confused to see a human hiding behind me. But under that confusion his thoughts were clear. If he could separate her from us, he'd not only have an easy meal, but he'd amuse himself by playing with her first – vampires shouldn't keep pets.

Moving slowly, my family casually created a defensive line in front of Bella and me. Carlisle, knowing I now had to focus to hear thoughts, dropped a hand behind his back and signaled me. I turned my attention to him.

"_Back up towards the Jeep, and get her out of here. Head towards the house and to the basement, we'll keep them off you."_

I grunted to let him know I'd heard him, and reaching behind me to grab Isabella's hand, started backing towards the Jeep – keeping myself between the nomadic vampires and the human who had their undivided attention. I could feel the tremble in her hand as she took my lead and, without a word, backed up with me. When we reached the Jeep's grill I let go, and both of us dove through the doors as the sounds of snarling and hard bodies crashing reached us. I gunned the engine and floored the pedal.

When Carlisle and Esme purchased the house in Forks, it had been in dire need of repair. I thought them foolish, it would have been more economical to tear it down and rebuild, but Esme saw it as a challenge, the house had once been a showcase and the location was perfect. It was close enough to both the hospital and the vast forests of the Olympic Peninsula, and the gossip in Forks about Esme directing the reconstruction of the house offered her an excuse not to be seen too often in town. Of course, they had no idea she was doing the majority of the work herself. We took pains to drop hints about Italian craftsmen being housed by us.

One of the needed repairs involved the foundation, crumbling and threatening to destroy the house it supported. The decision was made to lift the house and pour a solid concrete foundation, leaving it windowless. Although not the most common construction design, a windowless cellar would not be considered suspicious. What it gave us was a place within the house where we could safely store unusual items without risk of a curious human trespassing on the property and peering through windows during one of the rare times none of us were in residence.

But, Esme being Esme, it wasn't left cold and unfinished. She transformed it into a recreation room, complete with projection television, a small kitchen and a luxurious bathroom that could qualify as a spa. I looked around, for the first time thinking of this place as needing to function as housing, noting the couch was comfortable enough for Isabella to sleep on. I would just need to dash upstairs and get some bed linens for her, and perhaps some of my clothes until we could manage to grab her own from her father's house.

_Isabella in my clothes. Those luscious curves on display without her clothes._ I breathed a quiet sigh of relief at her distraction while I turned my back and adjusted myself, hoping not to be obvious in a moment I was certain she would not be interested in the physical pleasures of love. I turned around and gazed at her beautiful rear… maybe later.

"Isabella?"

She turned to me, eyes large and round, with a hint of panic. Perhaps she won't be in the mood after all.

"Stay here, I'm going to run upstairs and get blankets and sheets for you. Someone will purchase some food for you later, will that be okay?"

She nodded, although I wasn't certain she was truly listening to me. She seemed preoccupied, her hands twisting together. Still nodding, she walked over to the couch and collapsed into it, not looking at me.

As well she should not. Here I am, inappropriately aroused by her, when I should be the one protecting her. Instead, I'm cowering with Isabella, hidden in a basement while the rest of my family took on that role. I was no longer fully a vampire, yet I wasn't human.

More than anything else, at this moment I felt as if the best way to describe myself was as - utterly_ useless._

Quickly unbolting the locks I flung the basement door open and ran upstairs, vowing to be gone from her side for as brief a time as possible. Although I didn't have the speed I once did, I was still able to get bedding, with a brief stop in my room, and back to her side in under 30 seconds. Even so, I breathed a sigh of relief when I was once again in her presence, bolting the door from the inside.

Placing the bedding and some clothes into the arm chair, I grabbed the item I retrieved from my closet and sat down next to Isabella. She looked up into my eyes while worrying her bottom lip, trust in those eyes I didn't deserve, then looked down to see what was in my hands.

I opened the journal so she could read it without touching it, curious to see if the human version of myself had added anything new. No, he had not.

Taking a pen out of my shirt pocket I gave Isabella a pointed look, and she nodded in agreement. I had to ask.

**Edward, are you well?**

We both stared at the page, as the image of his response came immediately.

_**How the fuck do you think I am? Bella and I are stuck in a filthy basement, dodging spiders and cobwebs while a fucking maniac and his friends are running around loose.**_

_**

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**A/N Yeah well *shuffles feet***

**I would like to thank my dear friends Books and Issa for pulling me out of my funk and pushing me to the edge of this particular cliff. LOL, that didn't sound too grateful, did it.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this, if you're still out there are reading, and I promise it won't be as long before you see Chapter 16.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Disclaimer: Edward and Bella belong to Stephanie Meyer. The plot belongs to me, as does the journal.**

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**Chapter 16**

_**EAM POV**_

Rule number one: Never fuck with the daughter of a cop.

Bella's look of surprise didn't last long before I saw her arm swing forward, bend, and swing back - her sharp elbow pummeling into his stomach while she bent her knee and snapping her heel directly into his crotch. With a rush of air he let her go, sputtering and clutching at his groin. As soon as she was free she whipped around, this time her knee going where her heel had just been.

The scene in front of me took on a surreal quality. I was seething with rage, my mind bellowing curses as it prepared my body to react. She was _mine_, and I was going to break his neck and drain that filthy piece of shit of every drop of blood in that disgusting body so he could never, ever, come near what was mine again.

A growl left my lips as I crouched without thinking, ready to spring at him, to take him, to kill him...

"Edward?"

_What, who…?_ I froze, feeling like I'd been slapped in the face, and turned towards the sound of Bella's voice. The red haze that had clouded my vision slowly faded as I looked down and saw my hands were extended, fingers curled like claws.

"Get her out of here, now," Carlisle shouted from the field just as two more vagrants ran out from the trees, heading directly towards the piece of shit still holding his crotch and whining. One of the pair was a woman with flaming red hair and a murderous glare when she turned and faced Bella.

"What the fuck did you do to him, you bitch!" she screeched, throwing an arm around him and ignoring his attempt to push her away.

"Now, Edward!"

Carlisle's voice got me moving. I straightened and grabbing Bella's hand ran through the field to the car. We had just slammed our doors closed when I saw the woman running towards us, a knife in her hand, insanity in her eyes, her knotted hair blowing behind her - screaming as her feet pounded over the dirt at a speed that seemed faster than a human should be able to run.

I threw the transmission into reverse and floored the gas pedal, rotten leaves spraying up in a cloud of dust in front of us as I barreled backwards down the dirt road, narrowly missing trees, afraid to take the time to turn the car. With a squeal of tires protesting against asphalt we hit the 101, and blinded by the dust we had left in our wake I slammed the transmission into drive and tore down the road, praying there were no cars in my way.

"I have to call Charlie."

I jumped at the sound of her voice, my mind caught up in escape and what the fuck happened to me back there. I was ready to kill that guy, I was going to drink his fucking blood and I knew, I just knew, it would be better than that rabbit or that raccoon and holy shit, this all sucks bigtime.

"Do you have your phone with you?"

Bella patted her jeans and shook her head. "I left it at home; I didn't think I'd need it today. Do you?"

"No. As soon as we get back to my house..."

"Why not mine, I mean Charlie will be out fishing but..."

"That's the point. We'll hole up in the basement until the rest come back. We'll call the station from there – I'm sure they'll have a way of reaching him, or finding him."

She nodded, her eyes distant and her face pale and sweaty. I grabbed her hand and laid it in my lap, and when she laced her fingers with mine I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I hadn't completely scared her off.

The tires squealed again as I swung the car into our gravel driveway, a white cloud of dust behind us as I raced to the house. Running up to the porch I got the door open and locked behind us in record time, and grabbing her hand and pulling her to the kitchen, I flung open the basement door and guided her down the dark stairs. At some time someone put a bolt on the basement side of the door, and although we all wondered who would do something that stupid, I wasn't questioning it now. It was a godsend.

Ever since I started living with the Cullens there was talk about someday finishing the basement. Every time it came up and Alice rolled her eyes behind her parents' backs I got the impression this was one of those things that got talked about forever, but never done. Until this moment, I hadn't really given a shit. But now I really wished there had been more action and less talk as I pulled Bella down the old wooden stairs into our old musty cellar that had too few lights and way too many spiders.

"The journal," she whispered.

"Huh?"

"Did this happen to them too? What if that maniac is a vampire in their world?" She looked up at me, eyes full of worry.

"Why do you care?"

She scowled. "Well, aside from common decency, maybe what happens to him will happen to you. Ever think of that?"

Shit, she was right. But the journal was up four flights of stairs, and I'd have to...

"Go, get it now, and don't forget a pen and your phone."

"Bella, I don't want to leave you..."

"It'll only be for a few minutes. And grab some water while you're at it."

She brushed the dust off the old couch pushed into the corner and sat gingerly on the edge. She looked up when I hadn't moved, and waved me towards the stairs.

"Yes m'ame. I'll be right back."

It really was only a few minutes before I was back in the basement, the door locked behind me as I bounded down the stairs juggling the journal and bottles of water and a phone that kept threatening to slip out of my sweaty hand.

She jumped to her feet and retrieved the phone before it managed to crash to the concrete floor, and took one of the bottles of water – taking a quick sip while she flipped open my phone and started dialing.

"Hi, Pete, it's Bella. Do you guys have a way of reaching my dad?"

Stepping away to give her a bit of privacy I walked to the couch, looking for anything on the dark fabric that was moving and sporting eight legs. Suppressing a squeal when my fingers brushed a spider web, I settled down and tried to look nonchalant. Fuck, how can I admit to the love of my life I was scared shitless of spiders? _'Yes darling, I'm scared of these little bugs but I'll save you from that blonde scum and his red-headed sidekick.' _I wondered if the vampire was scared of bugs, too. Maybe they didn't have bugs on his end of things.

She was growing more animated as she talked, getting up and wandering to the other end of the basement while I sipped water, feeling the stomach cramps and nausea that was now a familiar part of life when I tried to eat normal food, apparently now extending simply to drinking water. If the other Edward and I didn't find a solution soon, I would be screwed. Vampires had no place here. I mean, how could I even go to college? Biology – especially medicine – would be impossible unless I stuck myself in a lab somewhere.

Shit. At least I was moping about something new.

I was so caught up in my brooding I didn't notice she was off the phone, standing in front of me with her eyes down, offering it back to me. Her hand was trembling.

"What did they say?" I asked, taking the phone out of her hand and gently pulling her down next to me.

She looked up, her eyes glistened with tears. "There's been a man-hunt going on since early this morning. Pete was left back at the station to answer calls and coordinate with them on the radio. Even the State Police are involved."

"What the hell? I mean, this isn't over what just happened..."

She shook her head. "No, not us - we're just a new bit of information to add to the file." Bella took a deep breath and leaned back, oblivious to the moldy old couch.

"They got a call early this morning from one of the Clallam County logging camps. One of the new workers – just some guy who wandered in and claimed experience operating the skylines – beat the shit out of one of the other workers. Beat him to within an inch of his life for looking at his girlfriend who wandered by the bunks last night. He had help from another buddy of his, a French Canadian they think."

"A third? I didn't see anyone but the letch and the girl, did you?"

"No, but I guess it doesn't mean he isn't around." She turned back to me, her tears now flowing freely. "Oh God, Edward, your parents..."

It was at that precise moment that I heard a door slam upstairs and footsteps pounding through the house. We both froze until we heard Emmett's laugh make its way down to the basement. One family was safe, but that left…

"What about _your_ fath..."

"They don't know," she interrupted, swiping angrily at her tears. "They have a team looking for him where he and Billy usually fish."

"Who's Billy?"

"My father's best friend, an elder at the Quileute tribe out at La Push."

I didn't know them. Carlisle talked about the Quileute on occasion but he always seemed a bit uncomfortable when he brought them up. Once I overheard him complaining to Esme that the tribe refused to go to the hospital once he started working there, but it made no sense. It wasn't like he'd ever done anything to them – or even met them.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest, rubbing her back and arms and trying anything I could to sooth her while she sobbed against me. I could have used one of those Hallmark card sayings around now.

Little by little Bella's crying slowed, and I could feel her sighing and hiccoughing into my chest. I pulled back and saw her eyes were drooping. As brave as she'd been out there, she was exhausted, and scared shitless about her father. So was I. That guy and that woman were fucking maniacs, and knowing there was a third around made it even worse. I didn't even want to think what it would do to her if she lost her father, too.

I gently pushed her away and pulled my shirt off, and laying it the couch next to her I guided her head down onto it. Slipping onto the floor I pulled her feet up, watching as she closed her eyes and started to drift off to sleep.

"Edward," she mumbled, "my father..."

"I have my phone, sweetheart. Sleep, I'll wake you when we hear."

I sat on the floor and leaned my back against the couch, opening the journal. Just as I got to the first blank page I saw a message from him slowly appearing..

**Edward, are you well?**

Was I well? What kind of fucking question was that?

_**How the fuck do you think I am? Bella and I are stuck in a filthy basement, dodging spiders and cobwebs while a fucking maniac and his friends are running around loose.**_

"Edward?"

My head snapped up when I heard the voice coming from the other side of the basement door. I dropped the journal and ran to the top of the steps and unbolted the door. Carlisle and Esme were standing there, Emmett and Alice behind them. The first thing I noticed were the cuts on Emmett's hands, and when I raised my eyes to his face I saw the bruise on his cheekbone, and the start of one hell of a black eye.

Pushing aside the others, Emmett moved towards the door. "Are you guys okay?"

I nodded, holding my finger up to my lips and stepping into the kitchen, closing the door behind me. "Bella's sleeping right now. She talked to the cops. There's been a manhunt for these creeps since early morning. They pulled some shit up at Clallam early this morning and... and her father is off fishing and they can't find him."

Carlisle sucked in a breath and wrapped his arm around Esme. He looked at me and then at the basement door.

"How's Bella taking this?"

"Not well," I whispered, hanging my head. "She lost her mother not long ago, if anything happens to him..."

Carlisle slapped his hand on my shoulder and gave me a level stare. "They'll find him. It's a big forest, I'm sure they'll find her father before those idiots do." Beaming at Emmett, he chuckled softly. "And I bet he won't be moving that fast with one eye swollen shut."

"Yeah, well, I going to go back down and sit with Bella until she wakes up." I reached for the door knob when Esme's grabbed my hand.

"I'll have food for the two of you when she's up, okay?"

I smiled and nodded and headed down the stairs.

Quietly dropping to the floor by the couch, I picked up the book to see if he had responded.

**Edward, are you both okay? Are you safe? Was it the two men and the woman?**

Fuck, Bella was right.

_**Yeah, although I have a funny feeling the ones you're dealing with aren't human, right?**_

**No, they're not, and in my present condition I'm no match for them. The rest of my family is protecting us.**

Shit, that had to suck. Listening to Bella's quiet breathing as she finally fell into a deep sleep, I wondered…

_**Edward, do you think I'm gaining the strength you're losing. I know I'm faster than I used to be, and I was able to carry Bella up a tree a few days ago.**_

**To a degree, probably. I find it unlikely your physiology can change to the point your bones are unbreakable, or your skin is quite like mine.**

Skin? Hmm, more shit he didn't tell me about.

_**Yeah well, over on my end of things, these creeps are human. He may be big but if nothing else, I'm probably faster than him.**_

There was a long pause before he responded.

**No argument, you probably are. As far as I know, maybe you're faster than I am at this juncture. If I could have you here with me, maybe between the two of us we'd manage to protect Isabella.**

Fuck, that's right. He's fighting vampires. I turned my head to look at my girlfriend. I didn't know what I'd do if she was like the other, human but dealing with monsters.

Then I had an idea.

_**Can't you make her like you? I mean, I don't know if she'd want to but, if she was as strong as you, a vampire like you, wouldn't that help?**_

**Completely unacceptable.**

_**Why?**_

**Because I won't condemn her to live a life like this, to face an eternity like this.**

He'd rather she be dead? What a prick!

_**Is this her decision?**_

**We haven't discussed it, and I refuse to discuss the process with her. And I'm not discussing it with you, either.**

_**Whoa, wait a second buddy. If you loved her half as much as I love Bella, are you saying you're willing to condemn her to die – either now or when she's old – while you get to walk the earth forever? If you want to stay with her, if you're her mate, are you willing to subject her to looking old while you look all cool and handsome?**_

**It'll be my sacrifice, not hers. And if I need to leave her for her own good...**

_**Bullshit, Edward. **_

Damn, it felt so odd to write my own name.

_**I'm serious. I don't see this as your choice. It's **__**her**__** choice. You claim you love her, but you get to make decisions for her? Is she your girlfriend or is she your child?**_

**You don't know what you're...**

Oh, I was pissed, and started writing before he finished.

_**I DO know what I'm talking about. A relationship is equals, or are you so old and wise and powerful that you look at all of us with contempt – including her? If she's like my Bella she's mature, and smart, and has suffered enough in her short life. Because that life is short doesn't make her suffering less real, less painful. If you really do love her, if you really want to be with her, then the choice is hers buddy, not yours. Ever.**_

I threw the journal across the room in a rage. Those two had a chance Bella and I didn't. We'd grow old and die, and I'd be willing to bet even after all those years I still would want more time with her. And what if she had an accident? What if one of us got sick and died?

My parents, my real parents. Shit, they were so in love it sometimes hurt to watch them, wondering if I'd ever find someone I loved so desperately. But I did, I found her, and if I could spend eternity with her...

I looked at my sleeping Bella again, her brow furrowed in her sleep, probably dreaming about what was going on, the fact her father was in danger, that they hadn't been able to find him. That she might lose her other parent.

Three hours later the sun had set, Bella was still fast asleep, and I'd been spending my time thinking about all of it – Bella, the other Edward, Isabella, her father... Things had quieted upstairs as the family, in spite of the looming threat, settled themselves down for the night. Rising to my feet I stretched my stiff muscles before tip toeing up the stairs, quietly shutting the basement door behind me. I padded to the laundry room to grab a clean shirt, and then slipped out the back door without the family spotting me. My mind was made up as I ran towards the river behind the house.

'********'

_**EAMC POV**_

"_That blasted idiot!"_

I grabbed the journal and in a blind rage, threw it across the length of the room, barely aware of what I was doing, not caring that I might have woken Isabella. That child hadn't a clue what he was talking about!

Taking a deep breath I forced myself to calm, and gazed over at the woman I loved. How could I do that to her? Why would she want this life? I'd already decided that when the end of her days came I'd find a way to join her, that I couldn't walk this earth without her by my side. But to make her like me? To put her in a position where she'd crave blood for all eternity? To put her through three days of hell to be _this_ when she emerged on the other side?

No one in their right mind would want this.

"Edward?" The light knock at the door interrupted my brooding. Looking at Isabella again, I ran to the top of the stairs and unbolted the door, stepping into the kitchen and into Carlisle's waiting arms.

He stood back, his hands on my shoulders, and took great pains to examine me. I rolled my eyes at these ridiculous antics.

"I'm fine, Carlisle. I'm far more concerned about the rest of you."

"We had no problem with the three of them. Is Isabella well?"

"She's sleeping."

He nodded, looking at my face with a critical scowl. I wondered if even more green was showing in my irises. Maybe I needed a shave?

"You need to hunt, especially if you're going to spend this much time with Isabella." Oh, right. "The nomads ran north, but Emmett or Jasper can join you, just in case..."

"No."

He raised his eyebrows. "Why not?"

Why not, indeed. I was tired of feeling weak, of feeling useless, of needing a babysitter.

"I need some time to think, and I'll stay close to the house, on this side of the river. I'll be back before Isabella wakes."

"You know, Edward, you should consider turn…"

He stopped when he saw the expression on my face. Seething with anger, I stepped out back into the cool night air.

'*'

My head was pounding, a sensation unlike anything I remembered feeling before, as the world around me started to regain focus. I attempted to move but couldn't budge. _What the... _Twisting my head I groaned when I saw the heavy cable binding me tightly to a formidable tree at my back - a fire blazing not ten feet from where I was imprisoned.

And I hadn't a clue how I got here. I remembered nearing the river, following the scent of a buck. I heard a twig snap, and then... nothing.

I took a deep breath, and the rancid scent of unbathed vampires assaulted my nose. Testing my bindings again, desperation washed over me when I couldn't even loosen them, let alone break them.

Silhouetted by the fire, a man was sitting on the ground in front of me, a long-haired woman next to him. Beyond the fire a vampire stood in the background, watching us intently.

The seated man rose to his feet and approached me, his movements cat-like and predatory.

"James, at your service."

I said nothing, just looked into his bright red eyes. He'd recently fed on a human, but upon whom?

"We're going to have company, young Edward. I don't know what kind of defective vampire you are, but I think you may be even more amusing than humans." He tilted his head, a smirk on his face. "Why are your eyes that odd color?"

"Animal blood," I muttered while I made another subtle attempt at my bindings.

"Animal blood? Is that possible? Why would you want to?" He took a step closer, examining me carefully. "Is that why you're so weak?"

I said nothing in response, my head still pounding as I tried to clear it, to think – to devise any way of getting away from them.

"I wish you had blood of your own, it would at least make you useful, and infinitely more fun. My friends are still hungry"

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small silver object, flipping open its cover.

_Dear lord no..._

This time I didn't hide my attempt to free myself. It was my cell phone, and he was scrolling through the contacts, laughing when he found what he was looking for.

He hit the button and brought it to his ear, making a show of putting his finger in front of his mouth, assuming that would keep me quiet.

"Ah, Isabella, is that you?"

"_Who is this?"_

"Right now I'm your best friend, because I have the pleasure of your boyfriend's company, and your father's company. And I will shortly be greeting you."

"_Let them go, you bastard."_

"Of course, but not until you come pay me a visit. We're just north of the old mill, you know where that is?"

I struggled against the cables again and screamed, "No, Bella, stay there, stay with the family!"

Smirking, he turned his back and whispered, "Of course you know where we are. I'll be generous because you're human and slow. You've got an hour to get here before I start removing fingers from your handsome boyfriend. But don't worry about your father, he's safe."

He ended the call with a snap of the phone cover and turned back, grinning at me. The red-haired woman started giggling uncontrollably.

"James, you're such a joy."

His smile dropped, and he looked sideways at her. "Shut it, Victoria."

Her laughter stopped abruptly as she jumped to her feet, eyes flashing and teeth bared. Focusing on their thoughts, I was shocked to discover they were a mated pair. What kind of mates talked to each other this way? I knew there was insanity amongst vampires, but both of them?

But there was no time for this. There had to be a way to keep Bella away, and I had to find Charlie. I turned my head but saw nothing, the bright light of the fire obscuring the vision in my weakened eyes.

"You told her Charlie was safe. Where is he?"

The woman started giggling again, the sound of her madness echoing through the trees as she sauntered over to the silent vampire on the other side of the fire, returning with something large swung over her shoulder.

"Is this what you were looking for?" she asked, throwing what she has been carrying at my feet.

The sweet and cloying scent of human blood overwhelmed me as I stared into the open and lifeless eyes of Charlie Swan.

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**A/N Yes, yes I know – another cliffie. I'm evil.**

**As for poor Charlie, sniff. But this does... no, not going to say it.**

**One more regular chapter left, and an epi. Things are a'movin' fast.**

**My thanks to Books for all her support, to Issa for pre-reading and listening to me whine, for Alicedances for being my validating beta on Twilighted and to all of you that keep encouraging me. Your words have really helped me through some tough times, and your generous reviews keep me going.**

**We're almost there, my friends.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Disclaimer: Edward and Bella belong to Stephanie Meyer. The plot belongs to me, as does the journal. The other FantasyMother is nodding her head in agreement.**

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**Chapter 17**

_**EAM POV**_

Staring at the back of Chief Swan's head, I fell to my knees, frozen, too fucking scared to move. He was sitting only a few yards in front of me, leaning against a thin sapling, his hands tied tightly behind him, his back expanding and contracting with each breath – so at least _he_ was still alive. The lump of clothes reeking with the smell of blood, not 20 feet from where I was hidden, meant his friend Billy had met a different fate.

Hidden behind my tree, my mind racing, I couldn't figure out what to do. The reality of my decision to find and rescue Bella's father was facing me through the shadows of the trees and the play of firelight on the scene in front of me. Crashing through my mind was the reminder I was 18 fucking years old, and hadn't done much more with my life in the past two years than read a good book, watch television, play the occasional video game with Emmett, practice the piano the Cullens bought for me, and do everything I could to keep from moving on from the death of my parents.

Dropping to my stomach, I breathed in the musty and rich smell of the decayed leaves under my face, listened to a lone beetle scamper through the bed of pine needles to my right. The crackle of the campfire, the popping of the green wood played in the background while I tried to let out a quiet breath and relax my muscles. I was here, one guy was already dead, Chief Swan might be their next victim, and as much as the coward in me wanted to slink away and find a cell signal and call for the state police, I knew every moment he was stuck with those maniacs would bring him closer to death. And if that happened, I'd never be able to live with it – I'd never be able to look Bella in the eyes again.

It would be worse than staying back at the house, huddling in the basement with Bella, running from spiders and hoping the adults out there were taking care of all of the unpleasant things. But cowering in that basement... all of it came rushing at me. I could be what I always was – a child protected by my parents, a child protected by the Cullens. A teenager who, at 18, could do what all kids my age did – delay adulthood. There were times in a moment of clarity that I'd think back to what I've read about life less than 100 years ago; when 18 meant you were an adult. I thought about my conversations with the other Edward, who had died at 17 but who had intended to join the army if he hadn't. If I was a child at 18 it was because that's how I chose to see myself, how this fucked up society kept extending the age of childhood upward and upward until no one ever felt like they needed to be an adult, to take on adult responsibilities. We were children forever and if shit happened, if bad choices were made, it was always someone else's fault because we never, ever, grew up. And there was no fucking way I wanted to live my life like that.

I had no misconceptions about myself; I was neither a coward nor a hero. What had changed me, matured me, opened my eyes, was the realization I was deeply, completely, and seriously in love with Bella Swan. For the first time in my life someone came before me, someone managed to pull me out of my self-serving dung heap and forced me to look into that mirror – to see what I'd become, and maybe dream what I _could _be. I didn't want to die, but I'd be damned if I stayed holed up in that basement doing nothing more than worrying with her.

As much as I might be cursing the changes to my body since I bought that fucking journal, I also knew I now had the opportunity to do something with it. I wasn't superman, but I could try to find them, to find Bella's father. Neither of us may have said a word, but Bella and I both knew that people fish at the same places all the time, and if Chief Swan and his friend Billy couldn't be found at one of their regular haunts, that meant there was a problem.

Bella's suffered enough pain, she couldn't lose her father, too.

"Fuck you, Vicky."

_Oh shit._ I stopped breathing, every muscle in my body locking down while at the same time it felt like a surge of adrenaline raced through me, preparing me, honing me, setting me on edge for battle. The baritone voice grumbled again, answered by the screech of a higher-pitched voice. I took a deep breath just as the wind shifted, and almost gagged on the smell of unwashed bodies.

Now what? Did vampires come with ninja stealth?

_Our father who art in heaven..._

I brought my hands up to my ears, but it didn't block his thoughts from filtering into my brain. Fucking shit, I didn't need to be listening into his head while he prayed, because it meant if the Chief was scared I didn't stand a chance. Taking a deep breath I slid backwards on my belly, just outside the ring of light cast by the fire, and got myself behind one big-ass tree.

Charlie was now to my left, and I could see, I could _smell_ blood trickling down his right temple, the black and grey hair on that side of his head black with matted blood, and prayed along with him that the smell of it wouldn't distract me.

To the right of the fire was the creep with his girlfriend. She was sitting still, her head turned away from him. The fire flared and bright light hit her face, making her wince and raise her hand to her eyes. But before her hand covered it I saw a deep bruise mottling her cheek. Turning my gaze to the monster next to her, there was no question in my mind he'd done that to her. And if he ever got to Bella...

Craning my head around the tree, trying to see past the glow of the fire, I saw a man – the third one the police talked about, standing further away, almost at the trees beyond the clearing. He looked and smelled as filthy as the rest of them, but he kept glancing between the blonde guy's back and the trees behind him, surreptitiously shuffling backwards, like he was trying to get away, which meant my serious problem was going to be the man and the woman.

And here I lay in the dirt, armed with only my brain and my hands and ... oh, I was so screwed.

"James, sugar, I really didn't mean..."

"Shut up, bitch."

Okay, he had a name. Didn't know what I'd do with it, but it was something.

She pouted and tried to get up when his arm shot out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down - hard. I winced as I swear I could hear the delicate bones protesting.

"There's a rule Vicky, and you knew it. I travel with you, I fuck you when I want, but you don't interfere with me, even if it means I plan to fuck someone else," he sneered at the Chief. "Or _with_ someone else. Got it?"

She nodded her head and leaned forward, her tangled red hair falling in front of her face. If she hadn't chased us with a knife I'd almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

I slipped from behind my tree and darted to the next one to my left. Slowly, stopping to make sure I wasn't seen, I kept moving until I was a couple of trees behind the chief. Lowering myself to my belly I crawled, keeping as low to the ground as possible, until I was right behind him.

"Don't say anything, don't move," I whispered. He kept his eyes forward, yawned and nodded. Damn the man was good. And shit, I don't even have a knife to cut his bindings. I shook my head at myself, what a fucking moron I was.

But that didn't mean this James didn't have one. I scooted backwards quickly when he suddenly stood and walked over to Bella's father. He was holding a hunting knife, the kind my dad used to carry in a sheath.

He ran his eyes over the bound man in front of me, his lips lifting in a sneer, showing a row of yellowed teeth.

"You're a local right?"

The Chief kept his head down, and nodded.

"You're my ticket out of these woods. Gotta car near here?"

"No, we hiked in."

_What?_ No, I knew they had a car. The access road wasn't that far away, and the Chief always drove the cruiser cause the only car they owned was Bella's truck and... wait. He wasn't wearing his uniform. _This moron didn't know he'd kidnapped a cop_. Is it possible he was armed and James didn't even consider the possibility?

"That sucks, but you know your way around, right?" The Chief nodded.

James turned his back on him, staring into the woods. "How far to the Canadian border?"

Charlie's head snapped up, and then let it drop, feigning disinterest. "A couples of day's hike, if the weather's good."

"That's where you're taking us." He whipped his head back around. "If you're good I'll let you go when we get there." Wiping his knife across his filthy jeans, leaving a dark smear of blood where the knife had been, he returned it to the sheath and sauntered over to the fire, where the red-head was sitting. Reaching down he grabbed her arm and yanked her to her feet.

"Come on Vic," he growled, dragging her towards the shadows. "I need to sleep, and you need to... relax me. And Laurent?" he shouted to the guy by the trees, "Keep an eye on our friend here." Ignoring her whimpers he dragged the girl, ignoring how she kept tripping over roots in the dark. "Maybe I'll let you have her when I'm done."

Eww, and now I needed bleach for my brain. I watched them in disbelief as James dragged her into the woods, leaving his hostage behind. As soon as they merged into the dark shadows the third guy turned and jogged in the other direction, disappearing into the night.

"Are you still there?" The Chief had turned his head, whispering into the dark behind him.

I got my feet underneath me, and crouching down, shuffled to the tree he was tied to as quietly as possible, never letting my eyes drift from the direction James and the girl took off in.

"I'm here, Chief."

"My boot."

_His boot?_ "What, I mean, what... ?"

He sighed, and I tried to ignore how exasperated he sounded. "Loosen the laces on my left boot and reach in. There's an ankle holster with a Derringer and a small knife."

I moved in front of him, untying the laces as quickly as I could, reaching in until my fingers touched the smooth hard leather. I had just managed to pull out both when I heard voices.

With no time to do more, I grabbed the boot laces and pulled them tight, making it look less obvious that his boot had been fussed with. With no time to actually tie it, I slipped both the gun and the knife into my pocket and dove behind the big tree just as they returned.

Okay, now I had a gun and a knife. I just had to figure out what to do with them.

When I was 13 years old my parents and I were camped in the Alaskan wilderness, in the Denali region. I remembered the spring day as if it was yesterday. Dad and I left Mom back at the camp to work on a grant proposal while he and I did some hiking through the foothills. It was a day of pointing out sheep to me, admiring how deftly they were able to balance along the sides of craggy cliffs. We both wore high, rubber boots – springtime in Alaska meant snowmelt, and mud.

We had just climbed about 500 feet when Dad led me over to a boulder, taking a seat and patting the rock next to him, indicating he wanted me to join him. I was thankful for the break. My feet were starting to hurt but I didn't want to complain. It was rare that they'd take me this far from base camp, and wanted to prove to them I was becoming an adult. Grumbling about my feet would set me back a few notches.

I sat with a sigh and unscrewed the top of my canteen. From the corner of my eye I saw my dad give me a calculating look, then reached into his pocket.

"This belonged to my father." He opened his hand and cradled in his large palm was a very small gun.

"It's a Derringer."

I just nodded, staring at the dark blue metal and the walnut grips, the checkering actually worn smooth in spots.

"Some people call this a lady's gun, and yeah – women sometimes carried them because they fit easily into a purse. But it's not a gun just meant for ladies."

I tore my eyes away from the gun and looked up at him, at his blue eyes staring into mine. "What's it used for, dad? I mean, it's awfully small."

He didn't answer right away, instead he took the little gun, pressed a lever on the side and the barrel swung up, away from the handle. Tilting it carefully, two bullets slid from the barrel and into the palm of his hand. Snapping it shut, he handed the gun to me.

"This one happens to be a .38 caliber. It's light, easy to carry or conceal, and if you hit it just right, it'll take down a grizzly or a cougar."

"I wouldn't want to shoot..."

He shook his head. "No, Edward. This is for emergencies only. I don't want you walking around without it, even when we're back at camp." He stopped and looked away towards the distant mountain peaks. "This is springtime, and bears are coming out of hibernation. They're hungry and irritable, and that means they're unpredictable." He held out his hand with the two bullets. "Take them and I'll show you how it works."

A couple of hours later we were back at camp and my mother was nursing the blister that formed in the web between my thumb and my index finger, glaring at my father the entire time. No question that gun was for emergencies only; it had an insane kick that literally tore my hand apart.

And now, five years later, I was hiding behind a tree and looking at a gun that looked just like the one my father gave me, the one I placed into his coffin to be buried with him. A quick flick and a glance at the barrels... yeah, it was loaded.

So now I had a loaded gun and a small knife. Well, it was easy to figure out what I should do with the knife. With my face back in the dirt I crept up to the tree where the Chief was tied, and keeping as far back as I could I reached forward and slid the knife between his wrists, cutting the rope and freeing him. Chief Swan, being the intelligent guy he was, didn't move a muscle and let it look like he was still tied tightly.

A rustle of leaves, unwashed body odor wafting in the breeze and I knew they were returning. James adjusted himself while he swaggered with Vicky dragging herself behind him, eyes down, her footsteps blowing up little puffs of decayed leaves as she shuffled through the debris.

"Laurent, start getting this shit to..." James looked around, his face darkening with fury.

"Where the fuck did he go?" He whirled on Vicky, expecting an answer from her in spite of the fact she had been with him. _What a fucking moron!_ Keeping her head down, she stopped walking and shrugged her shoulders.

"Fer Christs sake, go find where that asshole went, and drag him back." He smirked, "And if he gives you a hard time just take him down. I don't need him."

Vicky's head flew up, her eyes bright and burning while a slow smile lifted her cheeks. I shuddered – just the thought of killing seemed to be all she needed to pull herself out of her funk. _What kind of people were they?_

With more energy than she showed a moment ago Vicky took off at a sprint to the woods where the other guy had been standing. James watched her leave, then spun around and faced the Chief again, sauntering over to him. I tried to bury myself in leaves behind the tree. Very quietly.

"What's your name?"

"Charlie."

"So, Charlie, you know the people in this town?"

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. "Most of them, I guess."

James broke into a huge grin and squatted down in front of him.

"There's a girl in town, a pretty girl. You know any of the pretty girls, Charlie?"

He shrugged, but this time he lifted his head, looking James in the eye.

James was still squatting in front of him, kind of bouncing with excitement, leering at the Chief as if he was his buddy and they were sharing in some kind of scheme.

"Maybe I'll let you go if you can tell me where to find this particular sweet piece of ass I saw."

Charlie said nothing, just looked at him. My muscles were clenched as tight as knots while I watched the Chief's hands, hidden behind his back, balling into fists.

James moved closer. "This one, man... long dark hair, big eyes, sweet little firm tits, and an ass that would just fit in my..."

I didn't hear any more, I _couldn't_ hear any more. I lifted my head slowly, needing to see more than hear. See this loathsome piece of shit describe Bella, my Bella, and then thoughts, _his thoughts_, flooded my head. How hard he'd get when he heard her scream, how he imagined her tits would bounce while she fought him, his hands fisting in her hair while she screamed and screamed while his monster cock split her in two, as he shoved it up her a...

And then I heard it, the whooshing of his blood, the beat of his heart, the massive jugular just under the thin skin of his neck, my eyes narrowing in on it, watching the skin pulse up and down beneath the grime. The sounds of the night disappeared, just the pounding of his blood under his thin bag of skin, the blood that would spill for me, spill for Bella, nourish the ground, nourish _me..._

Keeping my eyes focused on his neck I reached into my pocket and grabbed the knife and gun, tossing them away. I would not be tempted to end his life any other way. My teeth would sink into that filth and his hot, salty blood would fill my mouth while he screamed for mercy and I just dug keeper into his neck. A red haze covered my vision but it didn't stop me from being able to see his neck, his pulsing heartbeat feeding that vein – up, down, up, down, hypnotic in its beauty as I felt my mouth fill with saliva and my lips curl back from my teeth. Far away I heard the growl of an animal while my chest vibrated in sympathy, a tiny corner of my brain wondering if that growl came from me.

No thought was necessary, just my eyes and the sound of his blood and now the smell of it, energizing me, drawing me. I didn't will my body to move, but the changed angle of that neck, that pulsing, made me realize I'd stood. The widening of his eyes and the drop of his smile meant he saw me. My hands grabbing his shoulders, his back in the dirt, the scream forced out of my throat as my body crushed his to the ground as I lifted my head and howled in victory, then lowered blazing red eyes to his face, pulled back my lips and let him see my razor-sharp teeth that would end his life and protect what is _mine._

"Edward, no!" was the faint cry in the background from the man who was no longer seated, fumbling on the ground where I'd been hiding but this fucking kill was _mine,_ let him find his own. I snarled and felt joy and exultation as I lowered my head to the pulsing, the burning, the need and...

I exploded, pain lanced through every cell of my body as I screamed in bloody agony, the world ripping away from me as the last sound that shattered my eardrums was the booming of a gunshot.

'********'

_**EAMC POV**_

The world stopped, and then I exploded.

The last thing I remembered seeing was Isabella, her right arm raised high in the air, not enough time yet to lower it. In this frozen scene I saw James mid-air, leaping towards her, I saw the journal fall onto the fire and a shower of sparks fill the air as it hit the burning coals, and I saw Isabella's horrified eyes locked on the cold dead gaze of her father.

And then I disintegrated in raging, unbearable, seething agony, my body swelling and contracting, fighting against itself, turning itself inside out as each page in the journal was lit by another burning ember, each single burning page a knife shoved into my belly and pulled up through my chest, spilling what I was, what I had been, what I was still to be, out into the universal night.

I screamed, my throat raw with pain as it burned and peeled and blistered, and joining me were the screams of hundreds, of thousands, of an infinite number of voices like a chorus of the damned, like mirror reflecting mirror reflecting images of myself with green eyes, with amber eyes, with red eyes, with green eyes, with red eyes, with red eyes, _ad infinitum_ and into the darkness beyond, all with mouths open and necks arched and glowing teeth and horrifying, brutal, all-consuming screams of agony.

And as my voice joined the chorus I saw him – the one – the Edward Masen I had seen before, in the shirt I had seen in my own bizarre reflection, and he saw me – our eyes locked as we screamed together, for each other, and for the need and desire and lust and love for one Bella, and one Isabella, and our fear we were not only lost from ourselves, but that in our descent into madness, we had also lost her.

We screamed, reflecting each other, reaching for each other, my hand in the air, shriveling as the flesh seemed to whither from within, emptying me, his hand almost touching mine, his pulsing veins wrapped around bone and cartilage and tendon, his skin sinking into itself as with one last, trembling attempt at mustering whatever strength was left in my body I lunged forward and pulled the dying boy into my arms.

And with one last gasping scream I welcomed my death if it meant this young man might live.

And then there was nothing.

'*'

"_Edward."_

Floating, I was floating. No sensation, no skin, no pressure, the little bits that were me, Edward Cullen, were scattered into a billion pieces of light.

"_Edward, we need you."_

_Need me? To do what?_ What can the last atoms of my body do to help anyone? I longed to find a breeze, to lift myself into its arms and scatter myself across what's left of this universe...

And then I felt it.

Someone touching me. My body. The cold of the ground pressing against my cheek. The scent of a buck that passed two days earlier. The heavenly smell of human blood spilled, wasted all around me, the burn in my throat as violent as a newborn's, hotter than it had been in 80 years, _the unmistakable burn of a vampire raging with thirst._

I opened my eyes and found a face in front of mine. Carlisle, his brow drawn, his golden eyes fearful – _had I ever seen Carlisle afraid before?_ The immediate relief washing over him when I looked into his eyes. His face withdrew as he stood, and I felt the touch of his hand as he grabbed mine, and pulled me to my feet – hugging me to his chest as I swayed, my balance gone, my senses bungled, confused, expecting I should no longer be a cohesive life form yet here I was, held in the arms of my father.

"I thought we'd lost you," he whispered into my hair. "But no time, no time, Edward. You need to make a decision, and it needs to be made now."

_Decision?_ I wasn't certain there was enough left of my mind to decide anything.

And that's when I smelled it – the sweet smoke of a burning vampire.

And that's when I heard them, the whispered voices of my family – of Esme's worried mind, believing she had lost her son, the internal voice of Emmett's rage as he flicked one more piece of a dismembered body into the fire, of the surprising fury inside of Rosalie – a level of love and fierce protectiveness towards me I never had expected. Jasper's mind, his calm always so soothing yet this time confused and troubled, his attention split between me and something writhing on the grass behind him. And then there was Alice's mind, sweet and pure and caring and self-satisfied as she smugly showed me future upon future as they flowed through her awareness – for the first time reveling in, enjoying the possibilities they brought to her, seeing them as a blessing for the first time since she opened her eyes to her immortal life.

Layer over layer of thoughts I hadn't heard in weeks bombarded me from all sides, and for once I was enjoying it because it meant I was alive, it meant I could continue, it meant...

And then I heard her screams. And I smelled her blood. And I smelled the venom in the air.

"Isabella," I groaned. Pushing Carlisle away I staggered towards the sound of her voice, her screams. She was on the ground, on her back, her hand extended, a huge bite almost encompassing her wrist, her blood flowing freely and pooling into her cupped palm, her body shaking itself apart with pain from the venom coursing through her.

"A second earlier, Edward. A second earlier and we could have kept him from biting her." Jasper's words were laced with the deepest regret and sorrow, and I could feel guilt, _his_ guilt, overpowering us all as he stood above me while I knelt at her side, his hand on my shoulder, letting me know that if he could, he'd weep with me.

"No, Isabella." I reached a trembling hand to her brow, pushing back her sweat-soaked hair from her face.

"Edward," Carlisle said, "The decision has to be made now before it's too late. Either draw the venom out or let it continue."

"There is no decision," I growled, picking up her hand, desperately trying to ignore the pull of her blood as it spilled from her palm to the ground below us. I placed my mouth against her skin, preparing myself to suck at it, to pull out the venom, to stop this from happening to her while praying I could stop before I sucked all the life from her body.

"No, Edward."

_No?_ I looked up, my lips on her skin, and stopped. Isabella's eyes were on me, her face contorted in pain but her gaze sharp and demanding.

"Do you love me?"

_Did I love her?_ How could she... "Isabella, how can you even question it? You are everything to me; you are everything I ever wanted. Shhhh, let me take care of..."

"No."

Still holding her hand, my lips mere inches above her wrist, I locked myself down, I locked the vampire away, the vampire faced with the most luscious blood he had ever encountered, and focused on the beautiful face of my dying beloved.

"Charlie is dead, Edward. And Renee is dead. There will be no one to miss me, and no one for me to miss." She took a deep breath and gritted her teeth, trying to control the pain.

"If you will have me, this is what I want. Don't stop it, just be there for me. Can you do that?" Her whole body shuddered as she tried to keep her focus on me, as I got lost in her beautiful brown eyes. I didn't ever want to leave them, to ever see them change.

"Isabella, I can't, I don't want..."

"It's not your choice, Edward, it's mine. Even if you don't want me, even if you leave me, it's still my choice." She took a deep breath. "Let it finish."

_Choice. The need to control, my need to decide what's best for her._ Harsh words from a human Edward flooded back to me. All my years on this earth, and what had I learned? In my quest to control myself, to control the beast within I extended it to controlling everything and everyone around me. And now faced with the woman I loved, the woman born for me, born to be my mate if she'd have me, I knew part of love was respect, and belief, and knowing when to ask, "What is it _you_ want?"

I lowered my head again, and instead of wrapping my mouth around her wrist I licked it, the ambrosia that was her blood sliding down my throat, silencing the burn while I gently drew my tongue against the angry wound, licking it until the edges knitted, the wound closed, trapping James' venom inside her body.

Looking up, Isabella's eyes were dancing in spite of her pain, and with what little voice she had left, she whispered, "Yours too. I don't want it to just be his."

I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. I crawled up her body, and taking her face in my hand I kissed her trembling lips, and then slid my lips down to her neck.

"I love you, and I will always be yours," I breathed against her skin as my teeth sliced as gently as they could, pooled venom dripping from my mouth and into her wound.

"The decision always should have been yours," I whispered as once more I licked her wound, my venom now forever a part of her, and laid my head against her heaving chest, giving her what was her choice to make.

* * *

**A/N And a cliffie into the epilogue! My evilness knows no bounds.**

**Seriously dear readers, the epilogue is next, and everything will wrap up for our two couples.**

**My thanks to Books for all her support, to Isa for pre-reading and listening to me whine and pushing me daily, for Alicedances for being my validating beta on Twilighted and to all of you that keep encouraging me – thank you again. **

**We're almost there, my friends. The epilogue is almost finished. Well, some of it is finished in my head, which isn't bad. I just need to write it down. LOL**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Edward and Bella belong to Stephenie Meyer, this story – to the very end – belongs to me.**

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* * *

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**Epilogue**

_**EAM POV**_

"Are you comfortable?"

Bella settled herself into the seat next to me, and looked up with a contented smile on her face, her well-worn copy of Macbeth on the desk in front of her. I reached over and took her hand, losing myself in the feel of the soft skin of her palm as we both ignored the noise around us.

There were only two weeks left to our senior year, and although the uproar and the gossip had finally calmed down, seeing this part of our life behind us couldn't come too soon. Lifting her hand and kissing the simple gold band on her ring finger reminded me of what was important.

The last four months had been fucking insane. I had few clear memories of what happened after I blacked out, but from what I gathered the whole family showed up – Bella in the lead – Emmett pulling me off the creep just as I went into a seizure. Charlie was able to grab the gun from where I'd dropped it behind the tree, and shot James in the leg before his hunting knife could slice through Emmett's neck.

James and Vicky were currently awaiting trail for assault, kidnapping, and murder. The third guy was never found.

Neither was the journal. When we got home we scoured the entire house, but it was gone.

But, as things turned out, the drama wasn't even close to ending.

Bella arched her back and winced, so I took the small pillow I carried in my backpack and squished it behind her to make her more comfortable in the hard, wooden chair. This was our routine, and at this point the teacher didn't even pause in his lecture on Macbeth.

"Thanks, sweetie."

I took her hand back in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. I'd do anything to help her get through the next couple of weeks.

Charlie was insanely grateful for my bravery, and stupidity, in heading off to rescue him by myself. We never talked about my attack on James, or more precisely, _how_ I was attacking him. He and I had need for much more… er… serious discussions.

Bella and I sat in Charlie's kitchen, hand in hand, both of us sweating up a storm, The smell of gun oil filled the kitchen as I stared at the 12 gauge pump shotgun on the table in front of us, Charlie taking long swipes with a rod and cloth through the barrel as he patiently waited for us to start talking. I think he had a clue why we were there - more of a clue than I'd expected.

"Cha… Dad, I..."

"Gaining some weight there, Bells?"

Bella froze. I froze. Charlie just kept pushing that cleaning rod through the barrel of the gun, lifting his head and arching his brow at me. I refused to believe the Chief was making a sexual innuendo.

"Er, Dad, I mean..."

Charlie put the gun down and I started breathing again. He looked from his daughter to me, his eyes narrowed, his mustache twitching.

"What do the two of you intend to do about it?"

Birth control has been known to fail, and although I absolutely believed Bella when she told me she hadn't skipped a pill, and religiously took them the same time each morning, there was no question there were odd things happening in our lives, and so we both chose to accept her condition was a part of it. Discussion between us wasn't even necessary. We hugged each other, repeated our vows of love to each other, and chatted about having a boy versus having a girl.

Unfortunately, it looked like there might be a third choice, but neither of us was ready to mention that to the Chief of Police, and the grandfather-to-be.

"Look, kids," he said, leaning back in his chair and raising his can of beer for a sip. "I'm not going to lecture you."

Two mouths popped open, chins resting on our chests. I reached under the table and squeezed Bella's hand.

"Bells, your mother and I weren't much older, and from what I can see, we weren't nearly as devoted as the two of you are. And you," he said, turning to me, "are better than anything I could have ever wished for my daughter." He took another sip of beer. "And don't expect me to ever say anything like that, ever again."

I couldn't say a word, just nodded my head.

That was four months ago. Since then, Carlisle's been honing up on obstetrics, taking Bella on as her personal physician. I swear, every fucking test known to man was run on both of us, but we both kept coming back as one hundred percent normal. It's just our baby was growing at an alarming rate – about twice that of a normal baby.

And we all had our suspicions why.

Charlie was brought up to speed on the journal, and with Carlisle's help, I think he believed us. As for me, I needed to shave again, I couldn't hear voices anymore, and I was back to eating normal food – Alice too. It was like none of it had happened, with the exception of our rapidly growing child.

Billy was buried in a private ceremony on the reservation at La Push, all of us invited to attend. Whatever weirdness they felt about Carlisle seemed to be gone, but rumor got back to us that it took tribal council approval for Bella to be allowed to attend. Everyone refused to answer our questions about it, and we finally stopped asking.

The happiest day of my life was the day we married in a small ceremony in Seattle, only our family attending, and Charlie did a great job of giving away his daughter considering he was giving her to me, a kid. The old guest house on the Cullen's property had been cleaned, and I proudly painted every room, following Bella's detailed instructions.

Both sets of parents vowed to help, neither one of them pushing us about anything except having the baby and helping Bella and I as much as possible. I couldn't ask for more, and neither could she. Well I could, but I was certain that somewhere, somehow, my parents knew I was happy, and married, and about to have their grandchild.

"I have an idea for a name, Mrs. Masen," I whispered into her neck, breathing in her delicious scent and relishing how it was still as intoxicating as ever. We'd returned to our little home after a quiet graduation party of just our family. The gossipers had finally done what they could to estrange us from everyone else, and we no longer gave a shit. Bella and I, and our parents, all knew she didn't arrive in Forks pregnant, and that's all that mattered. Even being the kid who saved Chief Swan's life didn't buy me enough to stop the big mouths. Bella and I had finally reached an agreement.

Fuck 'em.

"Oh really?" she giggled. "And what name did you have in mind for our bouncing baby boy?"

I grinned. Shit, I couldn't help myself. Yeah, yeah, it would have made no difference – boy or girl. I bet I'd be grinning the same way if we were having a daughter. Naming her wouldn't have been as easy, though.

"I was thinking, if you don't mind... I was thinking we'd name him Edward."

She was silent for a moment. "As in Junior? Edward Junior?"

I turned to her, taking her face in my hands and bending carefully around her hugely swollen belly, swollen with our child, I gently kissed her lips.

"That's what we can tell everyone, but however he did it, he saved my life." I stopped, caressing her lips with my own again. "I don't know how, but it's the only thing I can remember, and naming our child after him..."

"Shhh, you don't have to say more," she whispered. "I just hope and pray he's okay, too... although I really wish we could still contact him, in case we need any help with Junior."

I wrapped my arms tightly around her, careful of her belly, and kissed her neck. "Carlisle will have plenty of blood ready just in case... well, you know... his appetite is kinda odd..."

'********'

_**EAMC POV**_

I leaned forward and ran my hand down her spine, along the corded muscles of her back to the satin skin of her exceptionally enticing and rounded derriere – which she proceeded to wiggle – my body reacting immediately.

Over the past few months I'd learned that it had nothing to do with teenage hormones, but everything to do with Isabella.

Hard as a proverbial rock, I was naked as the day I was born, straddling a tree branch with my back against the trunk. Isabella, similarly unattired, was stretched out on her stomach on the limb in front of me, that aforementioned derriere continuing to wiggle as I planned my arduous attack on my lovely wife.

"Do you think Alice is right?"

I sighed. Only my wife could utter a non sequitur that I'd fully understand in spite of her completely silent mind.

"She believes she can see them." I shrugged. "I can't say one way or another, but the barrier between the universes has been breached. Who am I to say she can't?"

Isabella looked at me over her shoulder, her thick mane hanging down into midair, and that proverbial rock starting to pound. I reached forward, grasping her bottom and pulled her onto my lap, our movement shaking snow from the upper branches to land in her hair.

_Absolutely lovely._

"So, they're having a baby?" she asked, her melodious voice turning to a sigh as I ran my hands up her ribs and cradled her firm breasts in my palms, my thumbs swiping across her hard nipples.

"Yes, she says they are, and before you ask, they'll be fine – if her visions are to be believed." I moved my hands down, and lifting her hips I positioned her above where I needed her, both of us groaning in pleasure as I slid into her slick body. My hands returned to her breasts, Isabella slowly undulating over me as we both now straddled the tree.

She raised her arms above her head and wrapped her hands behind my neck, her back arched, her gorgeous breasts pointing to the heavens as she turned and slowly licked my lips, her muscles clenching me as she gently rode me, her scent swirling around us as I tried to push harder into her, deeper, knowing I couldn't hurt her, yet at the same time needing this time to be tender, loving, worshipping.

"Do you wish you could..."

"No. All I need is you," she muttered against my lips, her body moving in waves of sinuous muscle. Suddenly, it was all too much. I brought my legs up and wrapped them around her, my arms around her middle, my face in her neck, my chest hitching as I clutched her to me.

Feeling my distress Isabella stopped moving and ran her supple fingers through my hair.

"It's over now, my love. We're together and the danger is past," she murmured, her fingernails dragging lazy circles across my scalp. I continued to shudder, my grip on her uncontrollable, wanting to merge into her, meld with her, become a part of her... so afraid...

"And I haven't felt like eating a human for at least a week."

I chuckled against her neck – she knew exactly what would bring me out this – my fear – the daily realization that that she'd almost died, I'd almost died, and I'd have missed what I'd been waiting for my entire life. And in my own stupidity, almost denied Isabella something that made her deliriously happy every second of every day. She was born for this life.

The last four months had been... interesting. Bella was an exceptionally exuberant newborn, but thankfully had settled down to a dull roar. At this juncture I was no longer cursing our decision to be fully isolated, and thus far I've been surprisingly successful at holding her back whenever the stray scent of a human came by on a breeze.

I also suspected she had more control than she let on, and enjoyed letting me believe I could control her strength. We both knew it made little sense – she was far stronger than I.

Lowering my legs, returning my hands to her breasts I thrust upward, the answering moan from Isabella my clue she was ready and waiting, and with my love in my arms and with no one to bear witness but the eagles that soared above us, I took my wife, my lover, my best friend, and I made love to her as I would for all eternity.

* * *

She looked down at her hands, grimacing at the fine layer of dust that had accumulated from pawing through all the old items on the table in the back corner. Rubbing her hands on her jeans, she peeked at her friend – just catching that longing in his eyes before he quickly looked away, returning his attention to the table.

_Caught again_. He suppressed a sigh, and tried to control his thoughts about her. She was everything he was looking for, but as long as she was in a committed relationship with his cousin there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it, or _would_ do about it. As much as he yearned for her, they were family.

"Check this out!" She pulled an old, leather-covered book from beneath the stacks of old books, pushing them aside, their dust jackets yellowed and frayed. She ran her hands over the scars in the leather, examined what appeared to be a burnt corner, and opened it while he looked over her shoulder at the clean, blank sheets inside the cover.

"A journal?"

She nodded. "I think so," she agreed. "I guess you can use it for anything."

He reached over and took it out of her hands, letting his finger just graze against hers as she handed it to him.

"Maybe this could be his birthday gift?"

Leah made a face. "Nah, I don't think Sam would like it. Why don't you get it for yourself?"

Jacob nodded, and set it aside while he continued to look through the stacks.

* * *

**A/N And... here we are.**

**Thank you, all of you, for reading and supporting this silly little romp through the universes. It's been fun, and I will sincerely miss these Edwards.**


	19. FutureTake

**Surprise!**

**Disclaimer: Hers. The plot is mine.**

* * *

**Across the Universes**

**_Future-take_**

He knew exactly what they were up to. First it would be so cold that the hair on his arms stood on end, perched on top of the goose bumps his body rose in a vain attempt to warm his skin. Then it would get warmer, the heat rising degree by degree as they interrogated him, sweat forming on his brow, his arm pits soaking through his cotton shirt leaving dark, musky stains. The hotter it got the more he'd sweat, and the more he'd sweat the more he'd look guilty – panicking as they got closer to the truth – even if there was no truth to unravel. He'd look like he was hiding something, lying, and even if he was as pure as the driven snow it would rattle him, make him clumsy, and make it more likely he'd reveal something - regardless of how innocent.

In other words, they were professionals. Unfortunately for them, he'd had years of experience in practicing the art of deception.

On the center of the rectangular steel table was a small plastic bag; inside the bag was a square bit of metal - maybe a quarter inch long on each side – a dull metal color, like an old tooth filling. Its surface looked hand-fashioned, as if someone took a hunk of metal and squeezed it between their fingers to make a square. From where he sat he could almost make out the words etched onto the surface.

"We're going to stay here until I get an answer out of you."

'Here' was an underground room, not much larger than the table that sat in the center - gray walls, gray ceiling with a single air vent, gray steel table, a gray steel door on one wall, and a mirror that ran the length of the wall opposite the door.

He resisted the urge to wave at whoever was on the other side of that mirror, knowing that for them it was a clear window into whatever went on in the room.

There was no visible camera archiving the event. Perhaps it was hidden behind the grill; perhaps whatever went on in rooms like this was best not recorded.

They came to his dorm room in the middle of the night, like a page out of a cheap spy novel. Generic faces with short hair and gray eyes and black suits they woke him, cuffed his hands behind his back, and in their black SUV with dark tinted windows they drove him into the suburbs to the nondescript glass and steel building, surrounded by grass and parking lots lit by halogen lights. It looked like any other office building that dotted the New England countryside. He knew it was a regional office for the NSA.

The National Security Agency – never more than a stone's throw from MIT and Harvard and the bright young minds that just might be a risk to the continued functioning of corrupt governments that funded corrupt agencies that gave these men in their black suits a sense of self-worth, the illusion they were the good guys that allowed them to sleep at night.

He allowed them to cuff him, he allowed them to frog-walk him to the SUV, and he allowed the drive into the countryside. They stirred his curiosity, and if there was anything this young man liked, it was a good mystery.

The cuffs had been tight, tight enough to cause the man who was now his keeper to grumble a few curses when he removed them. The hesitation was to be expected when he noticed there was no sign of bruising on his wrists, but it now worked in the favor of the young man. The lack of injury from the steel handcuffs on the pale wrists leaning casually on the steel table puzzled the government agent sharing the room.

It was good to keep people off balance.

His soft voice broke the silence. "I don't know what you expect me to say."

The agent wore his age poorly. A comb-over attempted to hide the thinning hair, but his sun-freckled skull still shone past the wispy blonde strands. His shoulders were still broad, but the shirt buttons strained against the belly that rounded out and rested against the table when he stopped focusing on tensing his muscles and holding his stomach in. But he was intelligent and could still throw a powerful punch. It was enough to keep him employed.

And right now the sight of this young man with his dark hair and green eyes and perfect skin was enough to annoy him. His lack of fear was enough to send him into a rage. A body that was stretched tall and lean and covered with wiry muscles that took no effort yet spoke of the privileged only added to his fury. Yet all he had to do was open his file to know the young man didn't come from the Newport privileged. He was from a small town buried in the forest of the Pacific Northwest, the son of a country doctor.

Berringer stared at him, knowing there was a way to break through this mask of youthful self-confidence, but hadn't yet come across the key to fit this particular lock. But if he had nothing else, Berringer had patience.

"Your name is on it. The city and State you're from is on it. So, my question is simple – I want to know how the fuck it got into the particle accelerator at CERN. I want to know who might be working there that would want you to have this. I want every theory that genius brain of yours can come up with or I promise you'll be finishing your doctorate from the inside of a dark cell while nursing the cavern that was once your assh…"

The knock at the door caused them both to jerk, two heads turning as one, eyes on the gray steel door and then down at the doorknob rattling, someone trying to turn the locked door from the other side.

Berringer scowled, he'd given strict orders they weren't to be interrupted. His back and knees cracking as he pushed himself to his feet and walked to the door – the leather soles of his shoes tapping against the polished linoleum floor. Twisting the lock in the knob he flung the door open, his grim mouth prepared to verbally lash at whoever had the balls to interrupt the interrogation.

And froze when he saw who stood in the doorway.

Berringer had heard about him – a briefing a few years had included one of the rare times he'd been caught on camera, a telephoto lens managing to pick him out of a crowd at the city square. His patrician nose, heavy dark brows and slicked-back jet black hair was an image that burned into his brain. The curve of his lips, smiling at something unseen had enticed him when looking at the photo, the same curve of the dark-stained lips chilled him to the bone as he stared at the man framed by the steel doorway. It was the face of a man who would kill him, wipe his hands on a lace handkerchief and never give his death a second thought.

"I'm here for the boy."

_Ain't no fucking way._

"The kid is staying right here until I get what I need from him."

The smile never left his lips as he effectively ignored the NSA agent and walked over to the table. Barely glancing at the young man, his eyes were focused on the object in the evidence bag. Before Berringer could move the bag was scooped up and placed in his jacket pocket.

"You can't…"

"Yes I can." He reached inside his jacket and removed a sealed envelope, dropping it on the table. "The same… highly-placed government contact who allows me access to your facility also gives me permission to take both the boy and the evidence."

He turned to the young man. "Are you ready to go?"

Berringer was sputtering in the background while the stranger and the young man ignored him. Rising to his feet, the young man pulled himself to his full height, at least 6' 4" and stared down at the much shorter man.

"And you are?"

"Aro Volturi, of the law firm of Volturi and Brothers. We've been… retained to help."

'*'

"Don't lie to me," he seethed, the older man's olive complexion taking on a purplish cast as his anger rose. "If you lie, I promise I _will_ know it."

Ed looked up at the ceiling, expecting to see storm clouds gathering against the pristine white paint, he swore he could almost smell ozone in the living room. His mother and father were seated next to each other on the couch, holding hands, obviously taking strength from each other. Aro Volturi was seated across from them, in the antique wing-back chair his mother had been so thrilled to find in that obscure antique shop in Port Angeles. Seems the little town held quite a few treasures.

"I'm not lying," his father uttered between clenched teeth. "It disappeared after the kidnapping." He looked at the woman at his side, their eyes meeting – wide and open and it should have been apparent to anyone what they said was the truth.

"Bella left it in the basement when she joined the rest of my family in their search for me, and it wasn't there when we got back. We've turned the house upside down for years searching for it, but it was simply… gone."

Aro pressed his fingers together under his chin, looking as if he was praying. His demeanor had softened, but his eyes still burned.

"How old were you when you found it?"

His father didn't hesitate. "I had just turned 18."

"And you say you never let your wife touch it?"

"That's correct."

Aro sighed deeply, crossing his legs and dropping his hands to his lap. Leaning back, he looked at the ceiling - maybe he was looking for storm clouds as well. Sighing again, he closed his eyes, the anger gone, replaced by quiet contemplation. He appeared to be mumbling to himself.

"From all appearances, it slowed your aging, but didn't stop it. I'm surprised your wife's slowed as well – since you insist she didn't touch it. Maybe proximity was all that was required."

Their apparent age was always a bit of an embarrassment to Ed, but since his own age was deceptive they'd all gotten quite good at playing with things like birth years. Edward and Bella looked more like his siblings than his parents, in spite of the fact they were both in their middle thirties.

Their son was home schooled, the only way they could hide his rapid growth, and their own apparent youth, without a ton of questions being asked. Ed looked to be in his late teens or early twenties, whereas the reality of it was, he had just celebrated his fourteenth birthday.

And hopefully, his growth spurt was a thing of the past. At 6' 4" he was very tall – much taller and there would be questions about that as well. But for now, his dark brown hair, large green eyes, broad shoulders and flawless complexion kept the focus on his unearthly beauty rather than his height.

Aro sighed once more, and turned a level gaze on the couple seated across from him. "I'll choose to accept your word. If you still possessed it all aging would have stopped and," he turned to Ed, "I'm not certain your wife would have been able to carry him."

Bella spoke for the first time since he entered the room, her red face betraying her annoyance. "I'm right here, you can address me directly. What are you referring to?"

Aro inclined his head in apology. "It means your body wouldn't have been able to handle the changes required by pregnancy if the journal was still in your possession. Extensive physiological changes would have been impossible." He rubbed his hands over his face. "Most unfortunate, as I was hoping it might still be in your possession, and I would be the one to finally find it."

Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew a plastic bag and tossed it to Edward. "This belongs to you. I'm guessing the other found a way to communicate."

Edward caught the bag and set it on the table in front of him. His curiosity about the contents was running wild, but while the strange Italian man was still there he needed to take advantage of it, get whatever answers out of him he could.

"How did you know about us, about Ed?"

Aro dismissively waved his hand, and grinned – the first sign of humor they'd seen yet. "I have access to certain… records. And my firm has been watching for patterns…"

"What firm?"

"Volturi and Brothers has been around for centuries, in one form or another." He turned to Bella. "Can I bother you for something to drink? I find I'm rather parched."

Bella hesitated, but slowly rose to her feet with Ed following her into the kitchen, glancing back over his shoulder as he walked. Edward and Aro sat silently, staring at each other, assessing each other, awaiting their return. The men looked like master chess players, or poker players, waiting for the other to make a move, to bluff, to draw.

They returned with a pitcher of iced tea and three glasses, pouring tea into each as Ed handed them out. Aro drew designs through the condensation on the glass before lifting it to his lips and draining it, his gulps audible as they watched his Adam's apple bobbing with each swallow. Turning to the table on his right, he carefully placed the empty glass on a coaster, and turned to face them.

"The concept of multiple universes was first postulated by Schrodinger, at least formally, in 1935 as a thought experiment.

"A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with a small amount of radioactive substance and a Geiger counter. There is so little of this substance that, perhaps in the course of the hour, one of the atoms decays. Then again, with equal probability, perhaps there's no decay at all. If the decay happens, a device activates a relay which releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If it doesn't decay, nothing happens.

"If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, without knowing what occurred in the steel chamber, it can be surmised the cat is both living and dead.

"In other words, the cat is both dead and alive until you open the chamber and _observe_ the cat. The observation, itself, determines its state.

"There are some who took this concept and ran with it, postulating that at the moment the door is opened and we see a live cat, another universe immediately branches off, and in that universe the other option exists – the cat is dead.

"Envisioning it this way, we live in a web of multiple universes. Each time a decision is made a universe branches off, the decision in that universe the opposite of the decision made in ours – or ours from our point of view. It can be a decision as simple as, do I brush my teeth before my coffee, or afterwards?

"This is one of several multi-universe theories, but in the case that you experienced, it seems there are multiple universes that have no relative contact with the other. These are parallel universes, with minor changes, both existing in the same time and place.

"It doesn't negate the possibility of a web of decision-based universes, because perhaps both kinds exist."

Edward and Bella sat stunned, listening to Aro spout off concepts in quantum physics. Their son, however, had his arms crossed across his chest and a skeptical look on his face.

"Where'd you get this from, Wickipedia? You're mixing concepts, confusing Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle with Schrodenger."

Aro shrugged. "So you say. Perhaps they're more closely related than you, in your limited span of education, might understand."

"Bullshit. So, what's your involvement?"

"My involvement, dear boy, is that I am one of a long line who has been searching for this journal. Just because 19th and 20th century science has postulated these concepts doesn't mean they weren't previously known, or that the particular universe your father encountered hasn't been contacted before, through the use of this journal. The basement of the Vatican has dozens of manuscripts relating experiences uncomfortably similar to what your parents, specifically your father, experienced."

"And how would you know…"

Aro waved him off. "I have contacts, both at the Vatican and within your own government. Had I not, I can assure you, you'd currently be rotting in a cell in the basement of that lovely facility I managed to extract you from. My brothers and I are not the only ones who would like to see this marvel, and those who know of its existence are fully aware my firm has the most experience in hunting it. In other words, I was summoned"

Ed still remained skeptical, but Aro could care less. It was time.

"And you, Ed, have the unique honor of being…well… unique.

Edward sat forward, his glass of tea forgotten. "How so?"

"The basic physics of these two universes appear to be identical, from what we can determine. However, there are certain genetic traits in theirs that don't exist in ours - evolution taking a further step, if you will. Specific gene combinations that can result in what appears to be vampirism, via a catalyst added to the blood, that causes the cell structure to recombine over a period of a few days. Certain organs cease to function, bones harden, muscles become denser and limb muscles take over the heart's function of pumping vital fluids through the body. Ingestion of blood becomes necessary as it appears to be the only thing that the body can still digest. The new cell structure makes the human impervious to viral or bacterial attack, and cancer is no longer possible for the same reason the body doesn't age – the DNA does not degrade as the cells renew themselves, maintaining their original sequence in perpetuity. These evolved human appear to be immortal, although from what we've learned, with some effort they can be killed.

"Edward, you're well aware your exposure to the journal caused changes to your body, even if temporary?"

He nodded, reluctantly. It was over 14 years ago, but he could remember it as if it was yesterday.

"Well, dear Edward, for the first time in recorded history, it appears some of those unique genes have been introduced to our universe." He gave Ed a pointed look.

"Young man, I'm fully aware of your biological age, and the fact the only doctor who's ever treated you is your grandfather. I'm also aware of the large cash expenditures paid out over the years, to a certain Mr. Jenks, to have the entire family's birth certificate and social security records amended to make the official records match your apparent ages.

"I had suspected, for some time, that the journal was found again, but it was your enrollment at MIT that gave me the real clue. The NSA watches all students enrolled in schools such as Harvard, MIT, Stanford… but what they're looking for is intelligence and threat to their hold on power. My firm looks for evidence of cross-universal exposure, since the centuries-old manuscripts have shown that even the most simple peasant, once exposed to the journal and to their more… gifted doppelganger, develops an extraordinary increase in intelligence."

He looked at Edward, and grinned.

"You, Sir, have done a good job of keeping yourself hidden in this godforsaken locale. It was your son that we noticed – never expecting to find a prize such as him."

Aro suddenly sprang to his feet, reaching for his black wool coat that had been hung on the back of the wing-backed chair. Slipping on his coat, he addressed Ed.

"I'd recommend you stay on the Olympic Peninsula, and not return to institutions of this sort – I'd rather not have to fly out and retrieve you again. Either continue your home studies, or frequent the local universities."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a lace handkerchief, dabbing it at his lips in a surprisingly feminine fashion. After neatly returning it to his pocket he drew out a business card, handing it to the young man.

"But I expect you to stay in touch. I'm curious to see how you develop and, should you marry…"

Ed was his mother's son, his face immediately flushing red with indignation.

"If you think…"

"I don't think, I know." Aro glared at him, his eyes murderous, the thunderous stranger returning.

"If and when you have children, and I'm certain an attractive boy such as yourself will have no problem landing a suitable mate, I expect to be informed. Immediately."

He pointed to the bag Edward tossed on the table – the evidence bag containing the small metallic object.

"And I also expect a full report on what that contains." He turned, the tails of his coat swirling like a cape, and walked out the door - leaving the scent of a too sweet, but undoubtedly pricey, Italian cologne behind him.

'*'

They were on their feet, all three of them staring after the man who had swept so suddenly into their very private lives, and who promised to make himself an intrusion from there on out. Ed walked over to his father and took the forgotten bag out of his hand.

"The NSA said they found this inside the reactor at CERN. It was open for regular maintenance, and they found it lodged in a corner, near the proton generator."

Ed opened the bag and gently grabbed the tiny square of metal, the lead covering bending slightly under his touch. He placed it in his palm and flipped it over, so the name and address were now facing up, holding his hand out so his father could see.

"I have no equipment here, and don't even know where to start. It might take decades."

Edward shrugged. "What could he possibly have to say that's critical for us to know after all these years? I mean, it's not like he has any further effect on…"

It was the howl that stopped him, a blood-curdling howl that chilled them to the bone, reminding them of childhood nightmares and the beating of their heart and the terror upon waking."

Edward stared at the windows, they all did. He shook himself, walked over and looked out into the gathering dark.

"The Canadian packs may be migrating south." He turned to Bella. "Let's make sure we get the cat in before it gets too dark."

But Bella barely heard his words, her eyes focused on her son. Ed stood frozen, the hair on his muscled arms standing on end, his chest expanding and contracting, taking in deep breaths while he nostrils flared, his eyes wide and an odd glint deep within them.

And the only sound in the room was the soft growl vibrating from the chest of their son.

* * *

**A/N I'd like to thank the folks who wanted to know what happened to the baby. You got me to thinking, and this little ditty is the result. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**If you like, send me a little note telling me what you thought. And, since one never knows when inspiration might strike, putting me on author alert will let you know when the madness has struck again. LOL  
**


	20. Chapter 20  A quick note

A quick note…

If y'all are interested I have just started a sequel to Across the Universes, called Collapse the Universes.

The link can be found at my profile. Thanks to all of you for reading, and supporting these efforts.


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